So About That Little Batman Movie...

I guess I haven't said anything about it here, huh? It's Nolan's masterpiece, and that means a lot, considering I'd have named Memento as the best movie I'd ever seen if you'd asked me on July 17. He's easily the best filmmaker of our time, and I couldn't be happier about Warner Bros. putting the Bat in his hands. Heath Ledger's performance is everything it's hyped up to be, and then some. Words can't do it justice. He brought so much to the role, and it's a shame he can't be around to enjoy the success. Seriously, Jack who? Yeah, 1989 ain't shit.

Stay On Target: The Dark Knight Has STAR WARS In Its Sights

Results as of 08/13/08 from Box Office Mojo:


By the time the opening weekend totals for STAR WARS: The Clone Wars are calculated, The Dark Knight will have surpassed the original film in domestic box office gross. That makes Batman bigger Luke Skywalker, Shrek, E.T., Jack Sparrow, Peter Parker, Hobbits, Jesus, dinosaurs, and Michael Baybots. I'm sure someone, somewhere (most likely in an office at Paramount), is thinking about how much bigger #20 could have been if it had been directed by a competent filmmaker and taken halfway seriously. I wonder if they're second-guessing any of their decisions on G.I. JOE right now?

Stay On Target: The Dark Knight Has STAR WARS In Its Sights

The Dark Knight Joker Figure: I Told You So

Now anyone who knows me also knows how much I hate to say, "I told you so," but remember what I said about The Dark Knight Joker figure back in May? Anyone want to take a guess as to what I bought last night?


And not for $40, $100, or $180, but for $11.44 + tax. Not only did I pick up Scarecrow, and not only was I able to get the Joker with the improved paint application that I was hoping we'd see, but one of the stores I visited received seven cases of these figures on yesterday's truck. Seven. Cases. No luck on the Batman Begins chase figure, but there's always tomorrow. And remember, kids, the Joker is scheduled to be two-per-case in the next assortment, which means you have only your own lack of patience to blame if you pay a premium for it. So no more nonsense about Mattel "replacing" the figure (although I doubt we'll see a retraction from anyone on that one), and please knock off the bullshit about Heath Ledger's family "forcing" Mattel to stop selling it. Nothing like that ever happened, so stop suggesting that it did.

Harvey Dent Wins In A Landslide!

Harvey Dent was elected as District Attorney of Gotham City today. Shocking, I know. Anyway, here's the e-mail they sent:

Quote: If someone were to tell me four months ago that Harvey Dent was going to win by the biggest margin in Gotham City history, I would have directed him to Arkham Asylum. But that’s the big story today. Thanks to the incredible efforts of people like you, we have changed the fate of Gotham City. Harvey Dent won every precinct, every neighborhood, every demographic, and every gender and age group. His sweeping victory shows just how far the desire for real change goes in Gotham City. This is not just Harvey Dent’s victory, it’s your victory. You passed out flyers, rallied, marched, created political videos, and got out and voted. You made your voices heard. And today, the entire world can hear you. Today, “Take Back Gotham” is not just a slogan – it is a reality. This is the last campaign email we’re sending out. Now, we turn our energies to the hard job of fighting and winning the war on crime and corruption. We’ll need your help – to keep the pressure up on the politicians, to show the criminals our will, and to support Harvey Dent’s crackdown on corruption. Together, we will save Gotham City. Allan Cypes Media Manager

Still more than a month to go for the flick, but at least there's an "alternate" trailer on YouTube today.

I Voted! (for Harvey Dent)

Got this e-mail from the Harvey Dent campaign yesterday:

Quote: It’s been an incredible last few weeks. Ever since the vicious smear campaign collapsed and Harvey Dent’s remarkable courage at the hostage crisis at Rossi’s Deli, our campaign has ridden a wave of support I have never seen in all my political life. Our Headquarters reopened and thousands of volunteers show up here every day, every night, fighting for change. Fundraising has reached incredible heights, with over 100,000 Gotham citizens contributing their hard-earned money in support of Harvey Dent’s vow to take back Gotham. We’ve expanded our reach, opening branches in neighborhoods that haven’t seen political campaigns take them seriously for decades. And we’ve harnessed the incredible grassroots support by sending volunteers to knock on doors throughout the city. Amazingly, we will achieve our two millionth door knock sometime in between now and Election Day. Harvey Dent has committed himself to lead the charge to take back our city, face down the criminal and corrupt and restore hope for our future. Now, we need your help. We need to get out the vote!. And we need you to vote yourself. If you can’t make it to the polls, go to www.gothamelectionboard.com and find out how you can vote online. Working together, we will take back Gotham! Allan Cypes Media Manager

Once you register on the site, you'll get an e-mail confirmation with a voter registration number to vote in Gotham's election.


According to SuperHeroHype.com, those in possession of the Joker's Verizon phones got the following text messages yesterday, as well:

Quote: 1) Clowns, are you ready for some laughs? (y/n) 2) You put a smile on my face. Hope you're not superstitious.

So they're expecting something on Friday, which is going to be Friday the 13^th.

The Gotham Cable News ("a Comcast Network") site is up and running now, as well, with an article about Citizens for Batman, a video about Dent's grassroots campaign, and ads for Gotham Tonight with Mike Engel, Anthony Michael Hall's character in the film. It says an "all-new episode" of the show will premiere on Comcast On Demand Friday night. The cable provider already has this site online, and the partnership is an interesting choice, considering Time Warner (the parent company of Warner Bros. and DC Comics) owns controlling interest in Time Warner Cable, the country's second-larget provider. Of course, Comcast is the largest, so that means potential to reach more people, and Time Warner is splitting from the cable company later this year, so it's really not much of a conflict (there's even a "Comcast Gotham" banner on the site).

There's also an article about Bruce Wayne's new penthouse, and depending on which section of the site you visit, the weather report will give you a different current temperature. The team behind the marketing campaign must be having a lot of fun.

I Voted! (for Harvey Dent)

More Commentary On The Joker Figure

David Willis, who satirizes the hobby of toy collecting in Shortpacked, his online comic strip, focused on the Movie Master Joker topic yesterday with his weekly strip for TNI. You can read it here.

The Dark Knight Joker Figure

The way people react to internet rumors can be entertaining at times, but it can also be frustrating to watch. A recent one that I find baffling is the idea that Mattel has "dropped" the Joker figure from its new Movie Master line. The idea seems to have started on a web site which claims to provide "news" from the world of "media and technology" with this poorly researched "article" (to use the word liberally). While the entire site strikes me as little more than an amateurish collection of gossip and regurgitated headlines from other sources, this piece in particular is rife with error. The "author" (I'm being even more liberal here, considering his poor command of the language) does begin with a bit of humor, though:

Quote: I'm not going to reveal how I know this...

Well, of course he's not going to reveal how he knows it, because what follows is a load of bullshit. Ryan Brookhart, who fancies himself an industry insider (and of multiple industries, no less), claims that shoppers will not be able to find the pictured Joker figure (the Movie Master version) at retail, because Mattel decided it was "too scary for children". He goes on to say that it will be replaced by a, "hybrid animated style Joker roughly an inch smaller and in standard blister-style packaging." The "replacement" he's describing is the figure from the 5" movie line, geared toward kids who will want to play with their toys, and it's the same one that was shown at the NY Toy Fair back in February (although the retail release has a much less impressive paint application). The 6" Movie Master line, however, was created with adult collectors in mind, and is (once again) the same product shown at Toy Fair. Two different figures, in two totally different scales, and from two completely separate lines, were always planned. This isn't a deliberate attempt to deceive people, but rather a very confused individual whose inaccuracies were unfortunately repeated by various bloggers and small media outlets. The version pictured on the page that sparked all this nonsense was never going to be part of the 5" line, despite what some know-nothing wannabe says on the internerd.

With the theatrical release of The Dark Knight still seven weeks away, why would anyone believe Mattel won't be shipping more Movie Master Joker figures to retailers? Of course they will. In fact, they're going to be two-per-case in a future assortment, the same ratio as Batman was packed in the first shipment. But the uninformed still scramble to pay thrice the MSRP for something many of them wouldn't have even wanted if Heath Ledger was still alive. While the macabre attraction to the likeness of a recently deceased celebrity comes as no surprise, the figure itself leaves much to be desired. When the Movie Master line first hit retail, I came across at least fifteen of them. The paint application doesn't do the sculpt justice, so I didn't bother getting one for the $11-and-change price. Even if the figure had been perfect, though, you might as well throw your money in the garbage if you pay $35 (or more) to acquire one. They will be available in Big Box stores again very soon.

The Dark Knight Joker Figure

Why So Tedious?

So the viral marketing campaign for Christopher Nolan's forthcoming Bat-sequel, The Dark Knight, is no longer confined to the net. Warner Bros. has taken the promotion to the streets with a "grassroots" campaign for Harvey Dent, as he plans his run for Gotham City District Attorney. In 34 cities across America, the "Dentmobile", a white van decorated with Harvey Dent banners, made stops to promote the fictional politician's campaign to end corruption in Gotham. Apparently, the marketers came armed with stacks of stickers, piles of t-shirts, and bags of buttons, free for anyone who attended, and remained in character throughout each appearance, even when confronted by Chicago police.

I say "apparently" because Charlotte, the 20^th largest city in the country by population, wasn't on the list. Granted, it ranks 36^th in terms of metro area population, but aside from the obvious choices like NYC, Los Angeles, and Chicago, consider some of the other locations selected for tour stops:

Tucson, AZ: 32^nd in population, 52^nd in metro area population
Colorado Springs, CO: 48^th in population, 83^rd in metro area population
Madison, WI: 82^nd in population, 90^th in metro area population
East Lansing, MI: doesn't rank in population (less than 100K), 107^th in metro area population
Lexington, KY: 68^th in population, 111^th in metro area population
Tallahassee, FL: 142^nd in population, 144^th in metro area population
South Bend, IN: 238^th in population, 148^th in metro area population
Gainesville, FL: 226^th in population, 176^th in metro area population
College Station, TX: doesn't rank in population (less than 100K), 211^th in metro area population
Columbia, MO: doesn't rank in population (less than 100K), 252^nd in metro area population
Lawrence, KS: doesn't rank in population (less than 100K), 347^th in metro area population

Eleven of the cities on Dent's list are smaller than Charlotte, most of them considerably smaller, so maybe its omission was based on economic factors? Maybe people in Charlotte are too strapped for cash to scrounge up disposable income for movie tickets?

Wrong. Charlotte is the country's second largest financial institution, second only to NYC. It is home to Bank Of America (the nation's largest commercial bank), Wachovia (the fourth largest bank in the U.S.), Duke Energy, Family Dollar, Time Warner Cable, Lowe's, Goodrich, and Meineke. Males in the city have a median income of $38,767, while cost of living is the third-lowest in cities with populations between 400K and 1,000,000 (48% lower than San Francisco and 55% lower than NYC).

So if Charlotte is bigger than several of the cities chosen for the marketing effort, and there is plenty of spending money to go around, then why was the Queen City skipped?

Because Charlotte is fucking boring. Ask anyone who's lived in (or even been to) another large city in America, and is still young enough to get out and enjoy all that an urban environment has to offer, and he/she will concur. The place is completely devoid of anything even resembling a scene of any kind, no matter what your interests are.

Music scene? Sorry, but no. While arena tours make stops at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Charlotte pretty frequently, and you can always hit some bar for a band no one has ever heard of, most mid-level acts (the ones generally worth seeing) don't even slow down on the interstate while passing through Charlotte. To their credit, GWAR still comes to town on most tours, even though this is where frontman Dave Brockie was arrested on "obscenity" charges in 1990. Many tours depend on local bands to draw more of a crowd in their respective areas, but only one local band, ANTiSEEN, is really guaranteed to bring in fans, and opening shows for national tours isn't really their bag. Other than that, the list of local music worth hearing is a short one, and Jodeci is really the city's only claim to fame (unless you count Firehouse, an early '90s hair band, but I do not). Want to know what kind of live music is popular here? Cover bands, or "tribute" bands, as they're now called. At one relatively popular South End club, the calendar currnetly lists the following on its schedule of upcoming shows: AC/DC tribute, Pink Floyd tribute, Guns N' Roses tribute, and Led Zepplin tribute. You can also catch The Roots, if you're willing to spend $40 at the door. They've also had bands covering Poison, Sublime, and even Green Day songs.

And to think, at a club called the Milestone, which was reopened a couple of years ago after nearly a decade of mostly dormancy, bands and musicians like 10,000 Maniacs, R.E.M., Melissa Etheridge, Fear, the Dead Milkmen, Born Against, Black Flag, D.O.A., Mojo Nixon, the Violent Femmes, the Flaming Lips, Agnostic Front, Steel Pole Bathtub, the Go-Gos, the Dead Boys, NOFX, Prong, the Exploited, and Skinny Puppy played to Charlotte crowds in a venue with a maximum occupancy of 170 people. And Nirvana played to a much smaller crowd than that. What happened to those days?

Film scene? Take a guess. First of all, the list of "Hollywood" movies filmed here includes Juwanna Mann, Shallow Hal, Days of Thunder (because of the racetrack), and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (again, because of the racetrack). Parts of George Clooney's new flick, Leatherheads, were filmed at Memorial Stadium, which is adjacent to the central campus of Central Piedmont Community College. A couple of scenes from Nell were shot in Charlotte, and I believe something was done here for The Patriot (not much, fortunately, because Charleston, SC residents were not happy with the mess left behind by the crew). As you can see, this isn't exactly a list of cinematic glory.

Give credit to the Ballantyne Village Theatre for trying, though. Yeah, it's way out in the suburbs, and they're partnered with the corporate Consolidated Theatres, but the theater is actually owned by the shopping center in which it is located, and it showcases independent and foreign films as if it was... somewhere else. They also have Midnights @ The Village, screenings of "retro" movies on the weekends during the summer months. I caught The Big Lebowski and Jurassic Park there last year. They serve beer, wine, and concessions far beyond Goobers and greasy popcorn. Regal Entertainment's Stonecrest At Piper Glen offers the city's first Digital Projection auditorium, too, so that's a small victory that should have come years earlier.

But an actual, local filmmaking scene? I'm afraid not.

So considering the name of my site, how about a collecting scene? Comics? Toys? Sci-Fi? Anything? Not much of one, I'm sorry to say. In fact, four of my favorite shops from years past have since gone out of business, Comics 'Nuff Said, Dragon's Nest, Collectors' World, and Kevin's Collectibles. There's Rebel Base Comics & Toys, which actually has an awesome selection of action figures, but some of the "vintage" '80s stuff can be pretty pricey. I love the store, though, and I shop for my comics there pretty frequently. Then there's Shelton Drum, whose Heroes Aren't Hard To Find store has grown from what seemed like a closet over off Central Avenue, to a very respectable establishment at Central and The Plaza, to the most impressive comic shop in the region on E 7th Street. He's been organizing the Heroes Convention since 1982 (and the Charlotte Mini-Con for a couple of years before that), and it's really the only noteworthy geek event Charlotte has to offer. Over the last couple of years, I've noticed that vendors from outside the Southeast haven't been occupying as much space on the convention floor as they had at previous conventions, but I assume that's due to rising fuel costs. It limits the selection of products a bit, and some of those old guys from up north were sitting on tons of inventory that they'd let go for dirt cheap, but HeroesCon is still the geek pride and joy of Charlotte.

But with all the marketing that takes place at cons in NYC, Chicago, and San Diego, do any of the big publishers, toy manufacturers, or movie studios promote anything heavily at our summer convention? Absolutely not. They totally ignore it, just like they ignore Charlotte in other ways. You know those posters you see in NYC subway stations, advertising upcoming films? The only place you'll find those here is the exterior of a theater. It's like Charlotte's money - and there's a lot of it - isn't any good.

Charlotte has attempted to sell itself as a "world class city" since landing the Charlotte Hornets in the late '80s. Of course, the Hornets are gone now, but the NFL's Carolina Panthers began playing in 1995 (settling into what is now named Bank Of American Stadium in 1996), and we're on our second NBA franchise, the Charlotte Bobcats. They even got the uptown arena the Hornets could never negotiate, and since its opening, the city has added a light rail transit system that runs south from the city's center. On the list of fastest-growing cities in the country, Charlotte ranks fifth, but what is there to do here?

You can get drunk, as there are plenty of bars. Personally, I'm not much of a drinker, nor are most of my friends.

You can watch cars drive around in a circle really fast. They call it NASCAR.

You can shop. There are a few malls, if you're desperate enough to enter them, and an endless sea of strip malls. Real retailers like Nordstrom, Macy's, and Neiman Marcus finally decided there were enough yuppies with more money than sense to justify setting up shop in Charlotte, but a day of trying on clothes doesn't really appeal to me.

You can go to a bank. Seriously, there's a bank at damn near every intersection, sometimes two or three. Trying to find an ATM in another city when you've lived in Charlotte for any period of time can be a frustrating experience.

You can go to church. Honestly, the place is sometimes called "the City of Churches". There are almost as many churches as there are banks.

You can go out to eat, especially if you like chain restaurants. Honestly, one of the first answers you're guaranteed to hear when you ask someone from Charlotte what there is to do will be, "We have lots of restaurants." Congratulations. So does every other city in the world, only they have better ones.

You can play golf. You see, this place is what I like to call a Banker's Paradise. Lots of money changing hands, and plenty of green grass where you can hit a ball with a metal stick.

Some residents will swear the place isn't boring, but maybe that's because they're easily entertained. On a list of "101 Things To Do In Charlotte", the first entry is the "U.S. National Whitewater Center". Yawn. #2 is the NC Blumenthal Performing Arts Center’s Stanford Broadway Lights Series. Great, plays performed by actors who can't make it on (or even off) Broadway. Pass. #4 is the Mint Museum of Craft + Design. Craft and design? Stop, I don't know if my heart can take the excitement. #5 is the Mint Museum of Art, which I admit has had some decent attractions here and there, but they are few and far between, and that's being generous. The Bobcats are #6, but they can barely get a game televised, let alone sell tickets. "Don’t miss the excitement of the NBA Charlotte Bobcats as they host the league’s brightest stars in the Charlotte Bobcats Arena." Unfortunately, none of those stars play for the local team. It doesn't take long to get to NASCAR, which comes in at #8 with the NASCAR NEXTEL All-Star Challenge, whatever that is. I actually think it's "Sprint" now, since they bought out Nextel. Discovery Place is at #10, which is supposed to be a science nerd thing, but it's about as modern as Epcot (which is not very, for those who haven't been to Disney World). #11 brings us to golf with the Wachovia Championship. Not only is it a golf event, but it's a golf event named after a bank. Fitting. Carowinds, located on the border with South Carolina, is at #12. It's also like the Kmart of theme parks. NASCAR strikes again at #13 with the Bank Of America 500, giving us cars driving in a circle for an ungodly amount of time in an event named after a bank. Priceless.

After listing the Carolina Panthers at #14 (remember, there are all of eight home games in an NFL season), #15 is the Levine Museum of the New South, named for Leon Levine, founder of Family Dollar. My ten-year high school reunion was held there, and I thought it might be interesting. It's not. #16 is Concord Mills, which isn't even in Charlotte. I wouldn't call it something to do, either. It's more like a dolled-up outlet mall for rednecks. It's the return of excruciating boredom with more NASCAR at #19, this time with the Coca-Cola 600. I hate this city during "race week", because it adds at least 20,000 people to the population, not one of whom I want sharing my roads. At #20, it's the Charlotte Knights. Great. AAA baseball. If I ever develop insomnia, I'll look into it. Can you believe they're trying to get a stadium built uptown for that? At #23, it's Charlotte Checkers hockey, another minor league sports team. If you're going to try to convince me of your "world class city" status, should you really be throwing minor league sports clubs at me? The "Charlotte Museum of History and Hezekiah Alexander home site" is #26. Look, I enjoy history, but this place would put you to sleep in the middle of a methamphetamine binge. The Visulite Theatre is listed next, but it's only so often that a live band worth paying to see is actually booked. The Charlotte Observer IMAX® Dome Theatre at Discovery Place is #28. That's great, right? You get to see all the latest, greatest IMAX releases on that thing, yes? No. I had Batman Begins on DVD before it ended up here. #29 is the Carolina Raptor Center, which is pretty cool, but how many times can you go before you get so bored, you're begging a bird of prey to scratch out your eyes?

#30 is NoDa, or the "North Davidson" neighborhood, which offers some clubs, bars, and art galleries. When this area first started to thrive, it actually wasn't bad. As it has become more trendy over the years, the yuppie infestation and resulting gentrification has stripped the concept of whatever soul it originally had. The list continues with more shopping malls, Reed Gold Mine (digging through dirt? yay!), lots more NASCAR (their Hall of Fame opens here soon, too), several neighborhoods (because a neighborhood is something to do, I guess?), and some things that only happen once a year, anyway. The problem is that if you've lived here for any length of time, you've already done this shit, and it was never that interesting in the first place. The very fact that you have to create a list of "101 things to do in Charlotte" should tell you that there is nothing to do in Charlotte. A "world class city" has so much happening on any given night, that you don't have to search through a list. You have to decide which thing you want to try. The very existence of this list demonstrates that there is nothing going on in Charlotte.

This all begs the question, Why so tedious? For one thing, so much of that population consists of people who moved here to "raise a family", which means breeding, which means committing social suicide. Going out to have drinks and dinner is their idea of something to do, because that's as much time as they can possibly get out of the house. Another factor is the sort banks attract to live and work here: bankers. These are boring people, and they create a dull, lifeless city of annoying yuppies.

Yes, I freely admit Charlotte is boring, and I understand the idea of passing on it when you're conducting a marketing campaign like the Harvey Dent promotion. For selfish reasons, I'm tempted to say, "But that's just it! Charlotte is boring, which means the people have nothing to do, which means they'll come out and support the idea. They'll show up, get excited for the movie, and then spend their cash when it's released in theaters. What better way to improve a dull city than to bring something fun and entertaining to it?"

But I would be lying. If there's one thing the people here don't know how to do, it's support something. I get why the company responsible for the viral marketing would ignore Charlotte. I just don't like it, and I'd like to see it change.


Some folks in a real city have fun with the promotion.

Why So Tedious?