With Hasbro's NYCC reveal of a BBTS-exclusive Dreadnoks seven pack, they've managed to cover over half the figures on my wish list this year.
1) Zanya
2) Zarana
3) Zandar
4) Road Pig
5) Thrasher
10) Lifeline
That just leaves four of my top wants I've previously listed waiting their turn.
6) Billy
7) Jinx
8) modern, urban combat Stalker with no beret (add "no dreadlocks" to that request)
9) female Cobra Troopers, Vipers, Crimson Guards, or Iron Grenadiers (any of these will do)
Zanzibar, Burnout, and Mercer are all icing on the cake. Gnawgahyde ranks near the bottom of my least favorite G.I. JOE characters, but he won't be hurting anyone packed away in a box somewhere. While not as big a deal to me as Mercer, Red Dog and Taurus will certainly be welcome additions to my collection. I'm more thrilled about Zanya than anything; it's great that Hasbro is still reaching into those comics for figures. That's something I've really wanted to see them do. I still want more DDP-era characters like Firewall, Daemon, Mayday, Sparks, Heart-Wrencher, Mistress Armada, and Alexander McCullen, but none of them are a real priority for me. It is time for a new wish list, though, even if most of the characters on it won't be as big a deal to me as what we're getting in the Dreadnoks pack.
1) Billy
2) Jinx
3) modern, urban combat Stalker with no beret or dreadlocks
4) female Cobra Troopers, Vipers, Crimson Guards, or Iron Grenadiers
5) Darklon
6) Big Boa
7) Soft Master
8) Blind Master
9) General Flagg
10) General Philip Rey
I realize those last four are wishful thinking, but it is a "wish" list. While we might see a Blind Master figure in the movie sequel line, I'm sure it won't look anything like the comic character. To be perfectly honest, though, seeing Jinx and Billy would make me a completely content G.I. JOE collector. Everything after those two would just be gravy. Darklon, however, is a tremendously cool character and comes with a unique concept as the ruler of his own nation. I would love to see a Darklonian faction become a major player in the G.I. JOE universe.
Showing posts with label G.I. JOE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label G.I. JOE. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
We're Not Hasbr-Owed Exclusive Toys
So Hasbro's Comic-Con exclusives were sold at HasbroToyShop this morning, and many people were unable to complete the checkout process. This is nothing new. The same thing happened when we were all trying to buy the variant Cobra Commander from 2008. That didn't stop the internet from overflowing with Nerd Rage, though. All the, "I'm done with G.I. JOE!" anger really isn't much of a surprise, but some people seriously need a bit of perspective.
1) These are limited edition items. No one was guaranteed anything, and the word from the show was that quantities would be - wait for it - limited.
2) Just a few short years ago, manufacturers didn't make exclusives available online to people who had not attended the shows. The exclusives were, you know, exclusive. This is an opportunity for a few people to get the items at the original price, not a promise of a Zarana for everyone at $15.
3) All those of us who didn't go to SDCC did this morning was sit on our asses in front of computer screens. People paid to travel to San Diego, paid to get into SDCC, stood in lines for hours, and still missed them. If people who invested a ton of time and money to attend the event for which the exclusives were created in the first place missed out, then exactly why should anyone be feeling sorry for themselves over missing what was already a slim chance online this morning? And more importantly, why should anyone else have any sympathy for you?
Hobbies are supposed to be fun. If yours makes you angry or unhappy, you really, honestly should find something else to occupy your time. And no, I wasn't successful in trying to get what I wanted this morning, either. And yes, I had what I wanted in my cart for over forty-five minutes while I tried to get through the checkout. Big. Fucking. Deal. It's just a toy, and if I want it badly enough (which I do), I'll pay market value to acquire one. If I didn't want it enough to pay that much, I'd be fine living without it. Would it have been nice to get a limited variant for way less than market value? Obviously. Not getting it for the low price is no reason to get angry, though. Not getting a toy is no big deal. What is disappointing is seeing adults who share my interests behaving like spoiled, self-entitled brats.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to add some Cold Slither Zarana auctions to my watch list on eBay.
1) These are limited edition items. No one was guaranteed anything, and the word from the show was that quantities would be - wait for it - limited.
2) Just a few short years ago, manufacturers didn't make exclusives available online to people who had not attended the shows. The exclusives were, you know, exclusive. This is an opportunity for a few people to get the items at the original price, not a promise of a Zarana for everyone at $15.
3) All those of us who didn't go to SDCC did this morning was sit on our asses in front of computer screens. People paid to travel to San Diego, paid to get into SDCC, stood in lines for hours, and still missed them. If people who invested a ton of time and money to attend the event for which the exclusives were created in the first place missed out, then exactly why should anyone be feeling sorry for themselves over missing what was already a slim chance online this morning? And more importantly, why should anyone else have any sympathy for you?
Hobbies are supposed to be fun. If yours makes you angry or unhappy, you really, honestly should find something else to occupy your time. And no, I wasn't successful in trying to get what I wanted this morning, either. And yes, I had what I wanted in my cart for over forty-five minutes while I tried to get through the checkout. Big. Fucking. Deal. It's just a toy, and if I want it badly enough (which I do), I'll pay market value to acquire one. If I didn't want it enough to pay that much, I'd be fine living without it. Would it have been nice to get a limited variant for way less than market value? Obviously. Not getting it for the low price is no reason to get angry, though. Not getting a toy is no big deal. What is disappointing is seeing adults who share my interests behaving like spoiled, self-entitled brats.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to add some Cold Slither Zarana auctions to my watch list on eBay.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Let My Ninjas Live
It's something I've seen and heard more times than I care to remember, and it's popped up a lot recently since Lorenzo di Bonaventura described the next G.I. JOE movie by saying, "Well, the ninja fans are going to love it." I'm talking about anti-nijaism among some G.I. JOE fans. It's not enough to say, "I don't like ninjas," either. A tactic employed by those with an anti-ninja agenda is to repeatedly use words like "we" and "us," presuming to speak for the entire fandom with their complaints.
We don't like ninjas. We want JOE to be pure military! Ninjas don't even exist, and how can we enjoy G.I. JOE if it's not bound by strict realism? We hated it when Snake-Eyes was revealed to be a ninja. Who gave Hasbro the right to change one of our favorite characters without consulting us? The fans don't like ninjas! This isn't what we want!
Like a politician saying, "what the American people want," instead of, "what my party wants," these purveyors of anti-ninjaite rhetoric would have you believe all G.I. JOE fans are united in a bond of hatred. The way they tell it, "we" want all soldiers, all the time. Some want more, though, and it's time for those of us who accept and even embrace ninjas to stand up and be heard (or read, as the case may be). Like it or not, ninjas are a huge part of the G.I. JOE vs. Cobra mythology, and that was established as early as G.I. JOE #10 when we first learned of Snake-Eyes' ninjatastic past.
Enter the ninja.
Ninjas were a significant part of A Real American Hero for the overwhelming majority of its wildly successful run in the '80s. Why did they have to change Snake-Eyes from the commando all of us loved to a ninja? That's not what we wanted! I don't think "we" were having the same adventures with our toys as kids. Snake-Eyes was already my favorite JOE, but learning that he was an American ninja just made him even cooler. And you know what? He's still a commando, only he's extra awesome, because he's a ninja commando. I wouldn't have found G.I. JOE to be nearly as captivating if it wasn't for the villains in absurd costumes, biker gangs, and yes, the ninjas. All these elements helped G.I. JOE become more than just a line of toy soldiers.
A preference for the military aspect of G.I. JOE isn't surprising, but it's pointless to pretend like G.I. JOE would even still be G.I. JOE without the ninjas, the Dreadnoks, or Cobra. These are all vital ingredients that made the property what it is. You know what wasn't? Realism! If anyone wants a straight, no-nonsense line of military action figures, I'd recommend these. They're very nice, but I'd be more inclined to collect them if they had some (lots of) ninjas.
No one has to be an anti-ninjaite. It's never too late to let go of the prejudices and hate. Anyone can still learn to think of ninjas like Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, Jinx, and Kamakura as badasses, which they fucking are. Many of us love the ninja aspect of the JOE universe just as much as the military theme, and we wouldn't be as enthusiastic about the brand without them. Somewhere deep inside each and every one of us is an inner child who once played with throwing stars from the army surplus store because our parents were irresponsible, awesome, or both. Who wouldn't like to set that recklessly unsupervised kid free? Doesn't he - or she- deserve to come out and play in a world with ninjas?
So until next time, Yo Ninja!
How many ninjas is too many? Trick question. You can never have too many ninjas.
We don't like ninjas. We want JOE to be pure military! Ninjas don't even exist, and how can we enjoy G.I. JOE if it's not bound by strict realism? We hated it when Snake-Eyes was revealed to be a ninja. Who gave Hasbro the right to change one of our favorite characters without consulting us? The fans don't like ninjas! This isn't what we want!
Like a politician saying, "what the American people want," instead of, "what my party wants," these purveyors of anti-ninjaite rhetoric would have you believe all G.I. JOE fans are united in a bond of hatred. The way they tell it, "we" want all soldiers, all the time. Some want more, though, and it's time for those of us who accept and even embrace ninjas to stand up and be heard (or read, as the case may be). Like it or not, ninjas are a huge part of the G.I. JOE vs. Cobra mythology, and that was established as early as G.I. JOE #10 when we first learned of Snake-Eyes' ninjatastic past.
Enter the ninja.
Ninjas were a significant part of A Real American Hero for the overwhelming majority of its wildly successful run in the '80s. Why did they have to change Snake-Eyes from the commando all of us loved to a ninja? That's not what we wanted! I don't think "we" were having the same adventures with our toys as kids. Snake-Eyes was already my favorite JOE, but learning that he was an American ninja just made him even cooler. And you know what? He's still a commando, only he's extra awesome, because he's a ninja commando. I wouldn't have found G.I. JOE to be nearly as captivating if it wasn't for the villains in absurd costumes, biker gangs, and yes, the ninjas. All these elements helped G.I. JOE become more than just a line of toy soldiers.
A preference for the military aspect of G.I. JOE isn't surprising, but it's pointless to pretend like G.I. JOE would even still be G.I. JOE without the ninjas, the Dreadnoks, or Cobra. These are all vital ingredients that made the property what it is. You know what wasn't? Realism! If anyone wants a straight, no-nonsense line of military action figures, I'd recommend these. They're very nice, but I'd be more inclined to collect them if they had some (lots of) ninjas.
No one has to be an anti-ninjaite. It's never too late to let go of the prejudices and hate. Anyone can still learn to think of ninjas like Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, Jinx, and Kamakura as badasses, which they fucking are. Many of us love the ninja aspect of the JOE universe just as much as the military theme, and we wouldn't be as enthusiastic about the brand without them. Somewhere deep inside each and every one of us is an inner child who once played with throwing stars from the army surplus store because our parents were irresponsible, awesome, or both. Who wouldn't like to set that recklessly unsupervised kid free? Doesn't he - or she- deserve to come out and play in a world with ninjas?
So until next time, Yo Ninja!
How many ninjas is too many? Trick question. You can never have too many ninjas.
Monday, July 04, 2011
Fighting for Freedom Wherever There's Trouble
Americans like to celebrate our independence by blowing up stuff, and I'm no exception. Here's my contribution to the destruction, my Independence Day Assault set on Flickr.
Trust me, it gets worse for that Cobra H.I.S.S. I tried using M-150s first, but as you can see in the COBRA H.I.S.S. vs. M-150s video, that didn't cause nearly enough devastation.
Trust me, it gets worse for that Cobra H.I.S.S. I tried using M-150s first, but as you can see in the COBRA H.I.S.S. vs. M-150s video, that didn't cause nearly enough devastation.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Listening Is Half the Battle
I don't listen to many podcasts, but I thought I'd let people know about one I do enjoy, What’s on JOE Mind? Starring Greg (Crosshair), Gary (cmderinchief), Chuck (chuckdawg1999), and Justin (General Hawk) of GeneralsJoes.com, What’s on JOE Mind? covers the hobby of G.I. JOE collecting. The focus is on the Hasbro action figure lines, but they also discuss the cartoons, comics, and all other aspects of the hobby. Everything from interviewing special guests to talking about this week's new toy acquisitions, they bring the G.I. JOE property to your speakers and/or headphones every week. Most importantly, they have fun with it, and that makes for a fun listening experience. They're up to their eighth episode, so if you haven't checked out their show yet, this is a great time to catch up on everything you've missed.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Mortal Kombat
More additions to Crossing the streams, my photoset on Flickr. This time it's Spider-Man vs. Storm Shadow, and someone isn't walking away from this one.
The Last Son of Krypton goes up against the Devourer of Worlds.
The Last Son of Krypton goes up against the Devourer of Worlds.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
There Is No Dana, Only Hasbro
With another Toy Fair coming to an end tomorrow, I can feel my wallet getting lighter already.
Other than the first couple of Episode III waves in 2005, I haven't actively collected STAR WARS figures since 2003. The more I shopped for The Clone Wars figures for this little Clone Trooper's Christmas presents, though, the more they grew on me. So while I was in Toys Я Us on January 28, I picked up my first four figures from the line. I bought my fifth at another store just a few miles down the highway. Less than three weeks later, I have over twenty of the things. So in addition to waiting for G.I. JOE and Marvel Universe news, now I was eager to see what was coming from that line, too. Hasbro did not disappoint. Does that mean I loved and will buy everything shown? Of course not, but I prefer to focus on toys that I do like. Here are some of my favorite highlights of the reveals from those three lines.
And check out these great G.I. JOE: Renegades toys over at Generals Joes. How great is that Cobra Commander figure? The company's products continue to impress.
Meanwhile, Mattel announced that 2011 would be the last year for their only line I collect, Justice League Unlimited. That writing has been on the wall for some time now, and they've done wonders with the character selection in the Bruce Timm style. It's no surprise that the line is winding down, and you won't get any complaints from me. I do wish they'd find a way to do something more with the DC license, though, specifically in the 3¾" scale. It looks like I'm on my way to being a Hasbro-only collector, though, at least when it comes to mainstream retail brands.
And special thanks to Yodasnews, The Terror Drome, Generals Joes, ToyNewsi, and Action Figure Insider for keeping the rest of us informed during Toy Fair.
Other than the first couple of Episode III waves in 2005, I haven't actively collected STAR WARS figures since 2003. The more I shopped for The Clone Wars figures for this little Clone Trooper's Christmas presents, though, the more they grew on me. So while I was in Toys Я Us on January 28, I picked up my first four figures from the line. I bought my fifth at another store just a few miles down the highway. Less than three weeks later, I have over twenty of the things. So in addition to waiting for G.I. JOE and Marvel Universe news, now I was eager to see what was coming from that line, too. Hasbro did not disappoint. Does that mean I loved and will buy everything shown? Of course not, but I prefer to focus on toys that I do like. Here are some of my favorite highlights of the reveals from those three lines.
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And check out these great G.I. JOE: Renegades toys over at Generals Joes. How great is that Cobra Commander figure? The company's products continue to impress.
Meanwhile, Mattel announced that 2011 would be the last year for their only line I collect, Justice League Unlimited. That writing has been on the wall for some time now, and they've done wonders with the character selection in the Bruce Timm style. It's no surprise that the line is winding down, and you won't get any complaints from me. I do wish they'd find a way to do something more with the DC license, though, specifically in the 3¾" scale. It looks like I'm on my way to being a Hasbro-only collector, though, at least when it comes to mainstream retail brands.
And special thanks to Yodasnews, The Terror Drome, Generals Joes, ToyNewsi, and Action Figure Insider for keeping the rest of us informed during Toy Fair.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Flophouse Films' Collectable Spectacle II “Airedevon” Documentary Series
This is must-see interweb. It all starts here, but the embedded video below is what got me hooked. Check out Airedevon's massive action figure collection and marvel at her extensive knowledge of and dedication to the hobby.
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 1 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 2 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 3 of 18
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COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 1 of 18
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COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 8 of 18
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Friday, June 18, 2010
A G.I. JOE Collecting Update
First of all, I ordered from CobraStickers.com for the first time at the end of May, and the decals arrived on Saturday. I didn't get time to mess with them until Tuesday night, but what a difference they made on the Target Rattlers. I didn't replace all of the Hasbro decals, but using these for everything on the bombs and the black decal at the nose made them look so much better. I got some The Rise Of Cobra JOE symbol decals for my aircraft, too. I really like the logo, and I already had it on the Dragonhawk and several other things from the movie line. Got a couple of sheets of Cobra sigils, some M.A.R.S. logos, and some Dreadnoks symbols, too. While it has no danger of being as addictive as Marauder, I have no doubt that I'll order from them again. I absolutely recommend giving their products a try if you have such a need (especially since they're pre-cut, which was a huge plus for me). I'll be adding a link to their site here on the blog.
Secondly, I finally scored some $3 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE figures at a couple of Family Dollar stores. Two B.A.T.s, an armored Cobra Commander, Wraith, and a Snow Serpent for $15 isn't a bad deal at all. I'm still hoping to find some Cobra Divers and Ninja Vipers at that price, but I'm not complaining.
And third, I took all of two photos at HeroesCon, and they were basically two photos of the same thing. Terrible, I know, but I do have photos of all the G.I. JOE books I got signed at the convention.
G.I. JOE Origins signed by Tom Feister (all three) & Merrill Hagan (#15 with Snow Job)
G.I. JOE (Hasbro) signed by Jeremy Dale
G.I. JOE: Cobra #1 and G.I. JOE: Cobra II #1 signed by Christos Gage
G.I. JOE (IDW) #0 & #6 signed by Robert Atkins
G.I. JOE and the Transformers #1 signed by Herb Trimpe
Now if only I could get a few books signed by Mike Zeck, I'd have autographs of all the best of the best from G.I. JOE comics in my collection. I'll post photos of all the non-JOE books I got signed next time, followed by some of the superb art I bought this year.
Secondly, I finally scored some $3 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE figures at a couple of Family Dollar stores. Two B.A.T.s, an armored Cobra Commander, Wraith, and a Snow Serpent for $15 isn't a bad deal at all. I'm still hoping to find some Cobra Divers and Ninja Vipers at that price, but I'm not complaining.
And third, I took all of two photos at HeroesCon, and they were basically two photos of the same thing. Terrible, I know, but I do have photos of all the G.I. JOE books I got signed at the convention.
G.I. JOE Origins signed by Tom Feister (all three) & Merrill Hagan (#15 with Snow Job)
G.I. JOE (Hasbro) signed by Jeremy Dale
G.I. JOE: Cobra #1 and G.I. JOE: Cobra II #1 signed by Christos Gage
G.I. JOE (IDW) #0 & #6 signed by Robert Atkins
G.I. JOE and the Transformers #1 signed by Herb Trimpe
Now if only I could get a few books signed by Mike Zeck, I'd have autographs of all the best of the best from G.I. JOE comics in my collection. I'll post photos of all the non-JOE books I got signed next time, followed by some of the superb art I bought this year.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
HeroesCon 2010: G.I. JOE Roll Call
I did this last year, and I figured I would do it again for anyone planning to attend HeroesCon 2010, our local convention here in Charlotte. Some of the bigger guests include Mark Bagley, Cliff Chiang, Frank Cho, Tommy Lee Edwards, Cully Hamner, Adam Hughes, Steve Niles, Tim Sale, Ben Templesmith, Ethan Van Sciver, and Hellboy creator Mike Mignola.
Superheroes dominate the scene, but for G.I. JOE fans, here's some of the talent associated with the property over the years:
Superheroes dominate the scene, but for G.I. JOE fans, here's some of the talent associated with the property over the years:
- Robert Atkins - Artist on IDW's 2009 G.I. JOE reboot.
- Jeremy Dale - Artist on several of the comics released in 25th Anniversary two-packs.
- Marc Deering - Inker on G.I. JOE: Snake-Eyes.
- Tom Feister - Cover artist on IDW's G.I. JOE Origins.
- Christos Gage - Cowriter of G.I. JOE: Cobra.
- S.L. Gallant - Artist on IDW's G.I. JOE and the movie prequel books.
- Michael Golden - Artist behind the incredible cover of G.I. JOE Yearbook #2 (which he signed for me last year).
- Merrill Hagan - Writer on IDW's G.I. JOE Origins.
- Rick Ketcham - Inker on IDW's G.I. JOE.
- Eric Layton - Inker in DDP run.
- Chris Stevens - Artist on G.I. JOE: Master & Apprentice II.
- Rod Whigham - Artist on about two dozen issues of Marvel's G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero.
- David Wohl - Editor on several of the later issues in Marvel's G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero.
- John 'Waki' Wycough - Inker on IDW's G.I. JOE.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Top Ten '80s Action Figure Lines That Need A Comeback
Retro is all the rage these days, isn't it? Everything old is new again, especially if the "old" is from the '80s. New adaptations of The Karate Kid and The A-Team will hit theaters soon (they actually open on the same day), with sequels to Predator and TRON coming in July and December respectively. The remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street just opened a couple of weeks ago. MacGruber, as stupid as it looks, is a parody of an '80s television show. The Expendables, which opens in August, isn't a sequel or a remake, but it's definitely a throwback to the '80s action genre. Even Red Dawn, which was as '80s as you could get (if only all Cold War-era propaganda was as fun), is getting a remake.
And that's just what's coming out this year. Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, and The Last Starfighter sequels are in the works, and so are remakes of Footloose, Police Academy, Poltergeist (which may or may not be released this year), Private Benjamin, RoboCop, and Short Circuit. Before you ask, there's no remake of Big Trouble In Little China on the schedule. Not yet, anyway. A Conan reboot opens next year, and Columbia hired Mike Finch and Alex Litvak, writers of the aforementioned Predators, to write a new Masters Of The Universe script.
Speaking of Masters Of The Universe, Hollywood studios aren't the only ones who've been getting into the '80s nostalgia. Despite having loyal collectors for years, Hasbro's 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE line sparked the interest of many adults who hadn't paid much attention to the property since the days of playing in the backyard. They kept that going until debuting a line for G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra, the brand's first live-action movie, two years later. This came after the success they found - both at the box office and in the toy aisles - by taking Transformers to the big screen. They also worked Secret Wars comic book two-packs into their 3¾" Marvel Universe, recalling Mattel's '84-'85 Secret Wars line. Mattel themselves found more of a market than they seemed to expect when they introduced their direct-to-consumer Masters Of The Universe Classics. Their DC Universe Classics line clearly draws inspiration from Kenner's Super Powers Collection, and they just launched a new Ghostbusters line recently (with toys based on The Real Ghostbusters still to come). Playmates released a 25th Anniversary line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures last year, reproductions of the toys originally sold in 1988.
With G.I. JOE, Transformers, Super Powers, Secret Wars, Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, and He-Man out of the way, and STAR WARS having been back on the scene since '95, what are the top action figure lines from the '80s that still need to be revisited?
Looking back, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Thinking and writing about all of this stuff is probably going to cost me a fortune.
And that's just what's coming out this year. Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, and The Last Starfighter sequels are in the works, and so are remakes of Footloose, Police Academy, Poltergeist (which may or may not be released this year), Private Benjamin, RoboCop, and Short Circuit. Before you ask, there's no remake of Big Trouble In Little China on the schedule. Not yet, anyway. A Conan reboot opens next year, and Columbia hired Mike Finch and Alex Litvak, writers of the aforementioned Predators, to write a new Masters Of The Universe script.
Speaking of Masters Of The Universe, Hollywood studios aren't the only ones who've been getting into the '80s nostalgia. Despite having loyal collectors for years, Hasbro's 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE line sparked the interest of many adults who hadn't paid much attention to the property since the days of playing in the backyard. They kept that going until debuting a line for G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra, the brand's first live-action movie, two years later. This came after the success they found - both at the box office and in the toy aisles - by taking Transformers to the big screen. They also worked Secret Wars comic book two-packs into their 3¾" Marvel Universe, recalling Mattel's '84-'85 Secret Wars line. Mattel themselves found more of a market than they seemed to expect when they introduced their direct-to-consumer Masters Of The Universe Classics. Their DC Universe Classics line clearly draws inspiration from Kenner's Super Powers Collection, and they just launched a new Ghostbusters line recently (with toys based on The Real Ghostbusters still to come). Playmates released a 25th Anniversary line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures last year, reproductions of the toys originally sold in 1988.
With G.I. JOE, Transformers, Super Powers, Secret Wars, Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, and He-Man out of the way, and STAR WARS having been back on the scene since '95, what are the top action figure lines from the '80s that still need to be revisited?
- SilverHawks: "Partly metal, partly real..." Never one of my favorites, but that's why it comes in at number ten. I had a couple of the figures, and I watched the cartoon from time to time, but I couldn't name any of the characters off the top of my head. In fact, my favorite thing about SilverHawks is the collection of audio outtakes that showed up on the interweb back in the '90s. The Kenner figures really weren't bad, but this is more of a nostalgia pick than anything else.
- Starriors: TOMY's Starriors line wasn't terribly popular, and I didn't know much about them as a kid. I only had three of the toys: Motormouth, Gouge, and (my favorite) Hotshot. I wanted Deadeye after seeing him in one of the comics, but I don't know if I ever even saw him in a store. I really liked these at first, but I lost interest pretty quickly, as G.I. JOE, STAR WARS, Transformers, and Super Powers were taking up most of my time in '84. In fact, Hotshot found himself fighting in one of those universes more often than not. The Starriors toys were very cool, though, and an updated take on them with modern articulation - and maybe some new comics - is something I would definitely collect.
- Battle Beasts: What do you get when you give weapons, armor, and bloodlust to a bunch of anthropomorphized animals? Battle Beasts! Or at least that's what they were called here in the states. Originally marketed as BeastFormers by Takara in Japan, they were intended to be a spin-off of Transformers, even appearing in the Japanese version of the cartoon. Hasbro didn't see it that way (and rightfully so, if you ask me), releasing them independent of the robots in disguise here in the States. Each figure had a hologram "Battle Badge" on its chest that determined the team for which it would fight, fire, wood, or water. The hologram decals were similar to the Autobot and Decepticon decals on early Transformers, in that you had to heat them up by rubbing on them to see the image. Diamond Select Toys bought the rights to Battle Beasts last year, and they're supposed to be getting a new line. Of course, this was supposed to start in December of '09, and then March, and now it could be delayed until next year or never happen at all. That would be a shame, because Battle Beasts kicked ass.
- Army Ants: While we're on the subject of anthropomorphized creatures with weapons, it's time for Army Ants. General Mc-Anther leads his blue army against the orange forces of General Patant. Another Hasbro line, some of the Ants shared names with G.I. JOE characters like Stalker, Blow Torch, Knockdown, Repeater, and Recoil, with the Ant versions of those last two actually predating their JOE counterparts. Others shared names with Transformers, including Bone Crusher and Snarl. Aside from the two generals, Hasbro surprisingly didn't go crazy with the puns. Army Ants had no screws or metal parts to rust, so leaving them out in the yard overnight was never a problem.
The Karate Kid: First of all, considering it's from 1986, my Mr. Miyagi figure looks a hell of a lot like Pat Morita. Seriously, that's a damn good sculpt for the '80s, and it's not a bad one by modern standards. In fact, most of Remco's The Karate Kid figures were solid. I'd still love to see a company like NECA or Bif Bang Pow! take a crack at the likes of Daniel LaRusso (plus the Had-His-Ass-Kicked-For-Ten-Minutes chase variant), Mr. Miyagi, Johnny Lawrence, John Kreese, Ali, Sato, and Chozen. The Karate Kid and The Karate Kid, Part II were just released on Blu-ray for the first time, and I'd be all over a new toy line based on those two movies.- Voltron: Defender of the Universe: No, I'm not talking about the stupid Vehicle Voltron thing, but Lion Force Voltron, the real Voltron. Was the fully assembled Voltron the greatest toy ever? I have no idea, because I didn't have it. This is on the list for purely selfish reasons, as I had the following Voltron toys: Keith, the Black Lion, and King Zarkon from Panosh Place. Oh, and I had some really small Voltron figure (maybe from Bandai?) that didn't even separate into the individual lions. Words cannot express what only having one Voltron lion will do to a little boy. That kind of frustration never goes away. And even though I can barely make it through an episode of the Lion Force cartoon these days, I still want the completed Voltron toy. I know Trendmasters did one in the late '90s, and I've seen the Toynami stuff at a local store recently. Nuh-uh. I want the original Voltron, I want it to split into five lions, and I want each of those lions to hold a figure in his/her uniform from the series. And sure, I could track down the original toys on eBay, but that's not exactly the point of this list, is it? Nicktoons supposedly has a new Lion Force cartoon in the works, so there's at least a slim a chance that this could happen. I can hope, can't I?
- ThunderCats: Like SilverHawks, this is another one that was never among my favorites. If I was being selfish with Voltron, I'm being altruistic with this pick. I don't think I ever had any ThunderCats toys, to be perfectly honest, but I watched the cartoon more than I watched SilverHawks. I at least knew the villain's name when it came time for a trivia contest, and that was enough to win a Zartan figure from a local television station (see my Must-Haves For Collectors page for that story). ThunderCats enjoyed a measure of popularity, though, and the cat-people concept is something that could really work for modern toys. Those outfits would need to be updated and improved, but I can't deny the potential. ThunderCats and SilverHawks were both produced by Rankin/Bass and owned by Lorimar-Telepictures, and Warner Bros. acquired the rights to their library in 1989. There has been fan interest in new toys, but no company seems to have come close to working out a licensing agreement with Warner Bros. A ThunderCats movie was apparently on the table at one point, but it got scrapped. For now, it doesn't look like we'll be seeing Lion-O or Snarf any time soon. One more thing they had in common with SilverHawks? There are ThunderCats outtakes, too.
TRON: With TRON: Legacy coming to theaters in December, this is probably the most likely candidate on the list after Battle Beasts for a new toy line, at least in the near future. The original figures were kind of lousy, but I loved them, anyway. The Light Cycles were awesome, though, and I would frequently loan them out to figures from other lines. Completely translucent plastic obviously wouldn't be the way to go today, but I'm hoping to see someone get the license and do something incredible with characters from the sequel, and hopefully with a few from the original, as well. New vehicles would be a real treat, especially in-scale Recognizers.- Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future: Mattel really swung for the fences with their Captain Power toys, an ambitious approach to the crowded action figure market of the '80s. In addition to using your own imagination, the live-action television show provided an interactive experience, allowing you to "shoot" at enemies on the screen. You could also find yourself getting shot, which resulted in Captain Power being ejected from the XT-7. I loved these, I had all the VHS tapes, and I tuned in for the show every weekend. I managed to have Jonathan Power, Lt. Tank Ellis, Major Hawk Masterson, a Soaron Sky Sentry, and a Blastarr Ground Guardian in my collection. The Powerjet XT-7 was my only vehicle, but that was enough. Considering how much smaller the demand for action figures is these days, largely due to competition from things like video games, an updated Captain Power seems like a no-brainer. How difficult could it really be to develop an XT-7 that works with the Wii, for example? That would take the "interactive" aspect of the concept to new levels, since the television show and videos only allowed you to score points. You didn't get to help decide the fate of your heroes. Tie Captain Power in with the Wii, and suddenly kids who play the game can continue their adventures away from the console with the action figures. Resurrecting the characters on television is most likely out of the question, thanks to the Children's Television Act of 1990. Something like Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future would be a sure bet to get classified as a, "program-length commercial," as the original was already controversial in the '80s.
M.A.S.K.: I'm sure this is the predictable choice for any list like this, but that's because Kenner's M.A.S.K. toys were so much fun. The intent was obvious, trying to capture the attention of kids who were into G.I. JOE and Transformers, both of which were Hasbro brands. Kenner already had STAR WARS, but that line was coming to an end in 1985, the same year the Mobile Armored Strike Kommand was introduced. M.A.S.K. figures were smaller than STAR WARS or G.I. JOE, maybe half the size, which likely kept costs down on the real selling point of the line, the vehicles. You had a car that turned into a jet, a motorcycle that turned into a helicopter, a Jeep that launched a hidden boat, and a helicopter that turned into a jet. Never really got the point of that last one, but whatever. The thing to remember is that M.A.S.K. was awesome, and it's easily the best action figure line of the '80s that hasn't been revisited properly.
I say, "properly," because Hasbro took ownership of M.A.S.K. with their 1991 acquisition of Tonka, which had bought Kenner in 1987. Included in the eleventh wave of the 25th Anniversary/Modern Era G.I. JOE line was a Specialist Trakker figure, as seen above. This "new" character's real name? Matt Trakker. Check out Trakker's filecard over at YoJoe.com, and you'll see how Hasbro managed to fit the M.A.S.K. and V.E.N.O.M. teams into the G.I. JOE universe. Many fans interpreted this as a tease of possible things to come, but Hasbro reps have insisted they have no plans of launching a new M.A.S.K. line. There's always hope that those plans could change, though.
Looking back, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Thinking and writing about all of this stuff is probably going to cost me a fortune.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Cobra S.A.W.-Viper, 25th Anniversary Style
Missing from all the army builders in the 25th Anniversary/Modern Era G.I. JOE line is the S.A.W.-Viper. These guys are fairly infamous in the minds of comic fans, as one of them executed (or, "popped caps on," if you remember the story) Doc, Crankcase, Heavy Metal, and Thunder in issue #109 of G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero. Both heroes and villains had died in the series, but this was the first time we'd seen a massacre of characters who were actually part of the toy line. Even though it was the result of Tomax and Xamot misunderstanding an order from Cobra Commander, the S.A.W.-Viper was all too eager to accept the assignment.
Having picked up quite a few DVD Battles sets on clearance from discount retailers, I saw the potential in one of the extra Roadblock figures I had. I went with a mix of the original v1 figure and the v3 figure for the color scheme, ordered some custom accessories, and broke out the paint. Here's the end result, my 25th-style Cobra S.A.W.-Viper. If you click the photo for the larger version, you'll get an idea of just how limited I am when it comes to skills with a brush. It looks better in person than it does all blown up on a monitor, though, so I'm happy with it.
Figure: DVD Battles 2 ("The Revenge Of Cobra") Roadblock (v18)
Webgear and pistol: G.I. JOE Trooper
Helmet: Serpent Heavy Gunner Helmet Purple from Broken Arrow Toys
Weapon: M249 SAW from Marauder "Gun-Runners"
Cobra S.A.W.-Viper, 25th Anniversary Style
Having picked up quite a few DVD Battles sets on clearance from discount retailers, I saw the potential in one of the extra Roadblock figures I had. I went with a mix of the original v1 figure and the v3 figure for the color scheme, ordered some custom accessories, and broke out the paint. Here's the end result, my 25th-style Cobra S.A.W.-Viper. If you click the photo for the larger version, you'll get an idea of just how limited I am when it comes to skills with a brush. It looks better in person than it does all blown up on a monitor, though, so I'm happy with it.
Figure: DVD Battles 2 ("The Revenge Of Cobra") Roadblock (v18)
Webgear and pistol: G.I. JOE Trooper
Helmet: Serpent Heavy Gunner Helmet Purple from Broken Arrow Toys
Weapon: M249 SAW from Marauder "Gun-Runners"
Cobra S.A.W.-Viper, 25th Anniversary Style
Friday, April 30, 2010
Get Ready For G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero #155½
As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago when discussing Hasbro's position on the DDP G.I. JOE comics, IDW Publishing gives us G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero #155½ for Free Comic Book Day tomorrow. Larry Hama returns to the continuity he created fifteen years after the book ended, teaming up with artist Agustin Padilla. You can check out a six-page preview of the book over on Newsarama. It will lead to a new ongoing series, starting with issue #156.
While I'm still not thrilled about the DDP stories being tossed to the side, I'm definitely psyched about the chance to read new Larry Hama stories rooted in the old continuity. I like IDW's G.I. JOE Origins, especially the killer covers by Tom Feister, but I stopped buying the main title after six or seven issues. While Hama managed to make his part of the reboot fun, Chuck Dixon was on a mission to put me to sleep, and he was hellbent on completing that objective. I wasn't completely put off by the idea of a reboot, but the execution was severely lacking in entertainment value. I've enjoyed some of Dixon's Bat-work in the past (some, but certainly not all), but he's never been anything special. If anything, he's a third-tier writer, but he's managed to come up with a good story here and there. When it comes to writing G.I. JOE, though, he was never right for the job. It's not that his writing is bad; it's just utterly uninteresting. Andy Schmidt says it's, "geared more towards adults," than the DDP books were, but I beg to differ. Insomniacs are adults who should consider investing in the TPB collections of IDW's G.I. JOE issues, but if IDW ever wants me to start buying their main title again, the best place to start would be replacing Chuck Dixon yesterday.
But enough about the guy who isn't right for the job, because the guy who is right for it returns tomorrow. Here's an interview with Mr. Hama on CBR to whet your appetite. Welcome back, Larry!
While I'm still not thrilled about the DDP stories being tossed to the side, I'm definitely psyched about the chance to read new Larry Hama stories rooted in the old continuity. I like IDW's G.I. JOE Origins, especially the killer covers by Tom Feister, but I stopped buying the main title after six or seven issues. While Hama managed to make his part of the reboot fun, Chuck Dixon was on a mission to put me to sleep, and he was hellbent on completing that objective. I wasn't completely put off by the idea of a reboot, but the execution was severely lacking in entertainment value. I've enjoyed some of Dixon's Bat-work in the past (some, but certainly not all), but he's never been anything special. If anything, he's a third-tier writer, but he's managed to come up with a good story here and there. When it comes to writing G.I. JOE, though, he was never right for the job. It's not that his writing is bad; it's just utterly uninteresting. Andy Schmidt says it's, "geared more towards adults," than the DDP books were, but I beg to differ. Insomniacs are adults who should consider investing in the TPB collections of IDW's G.I. JOE issues, but if IDW ever wants me to start buying their main title again, the best place to start would be replacing Chuck Dixon yesterday.
But enough about the guy who isn't right for the job, because the guy who is right for it returns tomorrow. Here's an interview with Mr. Hama on CBR to whet your appetite. Welcome back, Larry!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Why Not Call It, "The Pursuit Of Cobra"?
So if the rumors about the title of a new G.I. JOE cartoon (here and here) are accurate, and the series is going to be called G.I. JOE: Renegades, I have to question the decision. Hasbro is debuting a new line called The Pursuit Of Cobra this fall, and this is the company who didn't want to release two figures named Rip Cord who looked completely different. That's why the classic Rip Cord was given the code name Spc. Altitude in the Attack on Cobra Island seven-pack last year. Will The Pursuit Of Cobra feature characters specific to the new animation? There's no sign of that in what we've seen of the first two waves. Will they put a Renegades logo at the top of the packaging for characters from the new show? Does Hasbro plan to launch two competing lines? That really wouldn't make much sense, given the current state of the economy and the fact that retailers will still need to move The Rise Of Cobra toys to make room for even one new line. Are there even any plans for toys specific to the cartoon? And if not, what's the point of it?
Hasbro registered the domain name gijoerenegades.com on April 7 of this year, which makes these rumors seem all the more valid. Some light will probably be shed on this subject later this week at the G.I. JOE Collectors' Convention, but we still have a few days to speculate.
Hasbro registered the domain name gijoerenegades.com on April 7 of this year, which makes these rumors seem all the more valid. Some light will probably be shed on this subject later this week at the G.I. JOE Collectors' Convention, but we still have a few days to speculate.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
G.I. JOE Doesn't Leave Anyone Behind, Hasbro
Back at the beginning of the year, Hasbro responded to a Q&A inquiry about the Devil's Due Publishing books over on JoeReloaded.com. They provided a two-part answer, but I want to focus on the second portion.
Hasbro's statement bothered me back when I first read it, but I've been giving it more thought recently while reading some of the DDP material again. I'll be the first to admit that those books had more than their share of flaws at times, especially in the editing department. Looking at the whole of their publication history with the license, though, they produced a considerable amount of quality storytelling. The America's Elite title in particular really got the job done. More importantly, however, the DDP run introduced some fantastic characters while they had the license. If Hasbro wants to abandon the continuity, that's understandable, especially now that Larry Hama is picking up where Marvel #155 left off for IDW. Ignoring those characters would be a huge mistake, though.
Let's think about some of those characters for a moment.
Firewall: A young hacker with a criminal record, she went from being a wet-behind-the-ears recruit who was simply trying to atone for her past to a crucial member of the G.I. JOE team. She had to grow up quickly when her friend (Daemon) and mentor (Mainframe) were KIA.
Kamakura: Snake-Eyes' apprentice and the son of Wade Collins, a former "Fred" in Cobra's Crimson guard who served with Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Stalker.
Mayday: Sergeant Paige Adams didn't get a lot of panel time in the comics, but new female characters are always a welcome addition to the world of G.I. JOE, and this one was especially intriguing due to her skills with a firearm.
Alexander McCullen: Illegitimate son of Destro who assumed his father's role twice.
Lilian Osbourne: Mistress Armada, Alexander McCullen's lover and military commander whose loyalties shifted back and forth from Destro to Cobra Commander.
General Philip Rey: A U.S. military commander who briefly led the G.I. JOE team and later the Phoenix Guard, he was eventually revealed to be a clone from Dr. Mindbender's Serpentor experiments.
Wraith: Charles Halifax, a deadly mercenary with an even more deadly stealth armor suit. While in Destro's employ, he betrayed the Baroness and delivered her to the Jugglers.
Zanya: Zartan's daughter and likely heir to the Dreadnok throne, she's my favorite of all the DDP creations.
Charles Halifax saw his first action figure in 2008, toward the end of the 25th Anniverary/Modern Era line, and there was even a variant Wraith figure. Kamakura was released as an off-screen character in The Rise Of Cobra line. The rest of the characters on this list are still waiting for their first plastic counterparts. While I'm hoping Hasbro gets around to classics like Jinx, Zandar, Zarana, Road Pig, Big Boa, Low-Light, Budo, Lifeline, Iceberg, Airtight, Night-Vipers, and Techno-Vipers, each of these characters from the pages of DDP titles would make for excellent additions to the line. In fact, they're all practically begging to be included.
There's one more thing that shouldn't be forgotten about those comics. In addition to the characters created in the DDP offices, they also did something I didn't believe anyone could ever do: They made Duke an interesting character that I actually looked forward to seeing in the stories. That alone is worthy of tremendous praise, so don't completely disregard those books, Hasbro. Let the stories in the comics go where they will, but keep DDP in mind for future character selection.
Updated October 13, 2011: After seeing these photos, all praise be to Hasbro.
| Quote: Q: Does Hasbro have an official stance on GI Joe comic original continuity? If so, what is it? Does Hasbro view the Devil's Due published material a continuation of the Marvel published work? A: b) We have no official stance on the Devil’s Due material. It can be viewed as a continuation of the 80's continuity, or as an alternate universe that was inspired by the 80's continuity. Fans can read it according to their personal preference, but we are currently taking the brand in a direction that does not take the Devil's Due story into account. |
Hasbro's statement bothered me back when I first read it, but I've been giving it more thought recently while reading some of the DDP material again. I'll be the first to admit that those books had more than their share of flaws at times, especially in the editing department. Looking at the whole of their publication history with the license, though, they produced a considerable amount of quality storytelling. The America's Elite title in particular really got the job done. More importantly, however, the DDP run introduced some fantastic characters while they had the license. If Hasbro wants to abandon the continuity, that's understandable, especially now that Larry Hama is picking up where Marvel #155 left off for IDW. Ignoring those characters would be a huge mistake, though.
Let's think about some of those characters for a moment.
Firewall: A young hacker with a criminal record, she went from being a wet-behind-the-ears recruit who was simply trying to atone for her past to a crucial member of the G.I. JOE team. She had to grow up quickly when her friend (Daemon) and mentor (Mainframe) were KIA.
Kamakura: Snake-Eyes' apprentice and the son of Wade Collins, a former "Fred" in Cobra's Crimson guard who served with Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Stalker.
Mayday: Sergeant Paige Adams didn't get a lot of panel time in the comics, but new female characters are always a welcome addition to the world of G.I. JOE, and this one was especially intriguing due to her skills with a firearm.
Alexander McCullen: Illegitimate son of Destro who assumed his father's role twice.
Lilian Osbourne: Mistress Armada, Alexander McCullen's lover and military commander whose loyalties shifted back and forth from Destro to Cobra Commander.
General Philip Rey: A U.S. military commander who briefly led the G.I. JOE team and later the Phoenix Guard, he was eventually revealed to be a clone from Dr. Mindbender's Serpentor experiments.
Wraith: Charles Halifax, a deadly mercenary with an even more deadly stealth armor suit. While in Destro's employ, he betrayed the Baroness and delivered her to the Jugglers.
Zanya: Zartan's daughter and likely heir to the Dreadnok throne, she's my favorite of all the DDP creations.
Charles Halifax saw his first action figure in 2008, toward the end of the 25th Anniverary/Modern Era line, and there was even a variant Wraith figure. Kamakura was released as an off-screen character in The Rise Of Cobra line. The rest of the characters on this list are still waiting for their first plastic counterparts. While I'm hoping Hasbro gets around to classics like Jinx, Zandar, Zarana, Road Pig, Big Boa, Low-Light, Budo, Lifeline, Iceberg, Airtight, Night-Vipers, and Techno-Vipers, each of these characters from the pages of DDP titles would make for excellent additions to the line. In fact, they're all practically begging to be included.
There's one more thing that shouldn't be forgotten about those comics. In addition to the characters created in the DDP offices, they also did something I didn't believe anyone could ever do: They made Duke an interesting character that I actually looked forward to seeing in the stories. That alone is worthy of tremendous praise, so don't completely disregard those books, Hasbro. Let the stories in the comics go where they will, but keep DDP in mind for future character selection.
Updated October 13, 2011: After seeing these photos, all praise be to Hasbro.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Snow Day
The snow we got last night and this morning provided me with an occasion to open the Ice Viper figure I packed away after buying it four or five months ago. I took it and a H.I.S.S. out front for some photos this morning:
Not everyone had as much fun in the snow as we did. In fact, someone seems to have lost something rather important.
Darby had plenty of fun, though. She went out to play in the yard a few times, and we took a walk around the neighborhood so she could run around several other yards, too.
Here she is patrolling the backyard and checking out the snow.
Not everyone had as much fun in the snow as we did. In fact, someone seems to have lost something rather important.
Darby had plenty of fun, though. She went out to play in the yard a few times, and we took a walk around the neighborhood so she could run around several other yards, too.
Here she is patrolling the backyard and checking out the snow.
Friday, January 29, 2010
You Are Easily Entertained
I could be talking about lots of people right now, from the millions who watch American Idol (or any other "reality" show) every week to the people who keep prattling on about how great Avatar is. I could be talking about the few zhlobs who are still willing to admit they loved The Matrix, or I could be referring to the masochists who keep buying tickets to Brett Ratner and Roland Emmerich movies. They're not the subject of this post, though. I'm talking to you today, the genre animation fan.
Yes, you. The fan who settled for The Batman after nearly a decade-and-a-half of Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, The New Batman Adventures, Batman Beyond, Justice League, and Justice League Unlimited. Now you're on the internet trying to convince people that Batman: The Brave And The Bold is a quality series. Deep down, I think you really know better. Even though you say it's a "fun" show, I think you realize how bad it is, even if you won't admit it (not even to yourself).
And yes, I'm also talking to you, the Transformers Animated fan. I guess you were just desperate for anything that even resembled the Robots In Disguise you remember from the '80s after that disaster of a "film" Michael Bay delivered. Look, I get it. I've been there before. I've known the abject disappointment that comes with being a huge fan of a particular property that gets butchered by some hack with studio backing. Tim Burton's Batman, anyone? It doesn't mean you have to embrace something that happens to not suck quite as hard and pretend like it has any real merit. You hear any Detroit Lions fans talking about how great the team was in 2009 because they didn't lose every game? No, you don't. That's because even Lions fans aren't as self-deceiving as you.
And yes, I'm talking to you most of all, G.I. JOE: Resolute fans. Talk about drinking the proverbial fucking Kool-Aid. A preview was shown in San Diego, and the clip included some actual violence. You were so excited! It was announced that this new web series would be a more grown-up JOE, and you could barely keep your panties dry. Warren Ellis was announced as the writer, and there was much rejoicing. And then Resolute was released, bit by bit, on the internet before airing in its entirety on [adult swim], and...
It was boring. It was weak. It was tired, stale, and unoriginal. It was nothing special. In fact, it was pretty goddamn bad. But you just couldn't admit it. Why? Are you living in denial? No, you're just easily entertained. And that's okay. Lots of people enjoy subpar entertainment, but you haven't even figured out that you're one of them. In fact, you go out of your way to convince yourself (and everyone who will pay attention to you) that you're not. That is where you're in denial. You keep going on and on about how "great" this stuff is, the amazing "quality" of the writing (which was absolutely the worst of Ellis' career), and how it was, "stunning," "groundbreaking," "brilliant," and several other adjectives (these were pulled from actual comments across various sites) that have no business being associated with this piece of shit.
Because that's exactly what it was, a piece of shit, at least in terms of storytelling. And there's a trend here, one that reaches deeper than simply cartoons based on popular characters from toy lines and comic books. That trend is Sam Register. I knew he operated under the assumption that animation has to be dumbed down for the lowest common denominator in order to appeal to children, but I didn't know he felt the same way about adults until I saw Resolute. Rather than reject this notion when your intelligence was insulted with this garbage, however, you did those of us who appreciate top-notch fiction with our animation a tremendous disservice by not only accepting it, but actually lavishing praise on this halfhearted effort.
So not only are you easily entertained, but you're also bad for the medium, and that's the real shame of the matter.
Yes, you. The fan who settled for The Batman after nearly a decade-and-a-half of Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, The New Batman Adventures, Batman Beyond, Justice League, and Justice League Unlimited. Now you're on the internet trying to convince people that Batman: The Brave And The Bold is a quality series. Deep down, I think you really know better. Even though you say it's a "fun" show, I think you realize how bad it is, even if you won't admit it (not even to yourself).
And yes, I'm also talking to you, the Transformers Animated fan. I guess you were just desperate for anything that even resembled the Robots In Disguise you remember from the '80s after that disaster of a "film" Michael Bay delivered. Look, I get it. I've been there before. I've known the abject disappointment that comes with being a huge fan of a particular property that gets butchered by some hack with studio backing. Tim Burton's Batman, anyone? It doesn't mean you have to embrace something that happens to not suck quite as hard and pretend like it has any real merit. You hear any Detroit Lions fans talking about how great the team was in 2009 because they didn't lose every game? No, you don't. That's because even Lions fans aren't as self-deceiving as you.
And yes, I'm talking to you most of all, G.I. JOE: Resolute fans. Talk about drinking the proverbial fucking Kool-Aid. A preview was shown in San Diego, and the clip included some actual violence. You were so excited! It was announced that this new web series would be a more grown-up JOE, and you could barely keep your panties dry. Warren Ellis was announced as the writer, and there was much rejoicing. And then Resolute was released, bit by bit, on the internet before airing in its entirety on [adult swim], and...
It was boring. It was weak. It was tired, stale, and unoriginal. It was nothing special. In fact, it was pretty goddamn bad. But you just couldn't admit it. Why? Are you living in denial? No, you're just easily entertained. And that's okay. Lots of people enjoy subpar entertainment, but you haven't even figured out that you're one of them. In fact, you go out of your way to convince yourself (and everyone who will pay attention to you) that you're not. That is where you're in denial. You keep going on and on about how "great" this stuff is, the amazing "quality" of the writing (which was absolutely the worst of Ellis' career), and how it was, "stunning," "groundbreaking," "brilliant," and several other adjectives (these were pulled from actual comments across various sites) that have no business being associated with this piece of shit.
Because that's exactly what it was, a piece of shit, at least in terms of storytelling. And there's a trend here, one that reaches deeper than simply cartoons based on popular characters from toy lines and comic books. That trend is Sam Register. I knew he operated under the assumption that animation has to be dumbed down for the lowest common denominator in order to appeal to children, but I didn't know he felt the same way about adults until I saw Resolute. Rather than reject this notion when your intelligence was insulted with this garbage, however, you did those of us who appreciate top-notch fiction with our animation a tremendous disservice by not only accepting it, but actually lavishing praise on this halfhearted effort.
So not only are you easily entertained, but you're also bad for the medium, and that's the real shame of the matter.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Zartan: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Bonus
While I enjoyed G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra more than a lot of fans, there were definitely things I believe should have been handled differently. The movie was not without its flaws, and there were certainly shortcomings in the way the source material was interpreted, but I'm likely in the minority in believing they got more right than wrong. Having said that, one aspect of the film I thoroughly enjoyed was Arnold Vosloo's portrayal of Zartan. I felt like they nailed this character from top to bottom. Sure, I would have loved to see him in his cowl, but that wasn't nearly as important to me as his characterization, which I felt came very close to perfect. My only problem was that Hasbro neglected to release an undisguised figure in their movie line, choosing instead to release two versions in G.I. JOE MP uniforms.
I passed on the single-carded release over and over after the launch of the line, and only purchased one when I decided to use the body for my Law & Order. Not only was I unenthusiastic about the disguised figure, but I wasn't fond of the hair color. The Toys R Us Trooper five-pack that was released late last year, however, corrected that second problem with darker hair, so I decided to fill in the gap left by Hasbro.
This figure is simply the Zartan head from Toys R Us G.I. JOE five-pack on the body of the Duke figure (sans the leg harness) from the same retailer's Cobra five-pack (25th Anniversary Snake-Eyes torso, 25th Gung-Ho legs, and Modern Era Airborne arms), armed with the M.A.R.S. Industries Officer's knife from the same Cobra five-pack.
Zartan: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Bonus
I passed on the single-carded release over and over after the launch of the line, and only purchased one when I decided to use the body for my Law & Order. Not only was I unenthusiastic about the disguised figure, but I wasn't fond of the hair color. The Toys R Us Trooper five-pack that was released late last year, however, corrected that second problem with darker hair, so I decided to fill in the gap left by Hasbro.
This figure is simply the Zartan head from Toys R Us G.I. JOE five-pack on the body of the Duke figure (sans the leg harness) from the same retailer's Cobra five-pack (25th Anniversary Snake-Eyes torso, 25th Gung-Ho legs, and Modern Era Airborne arms), armed with the M.A.R.S. Industries Officer's knife from the same Cobra five-pack.
Zartan: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Bonus
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