2011: The Year My G.I. JOE "Wish List" Was Massacred

With Hasbro's NYCC reveal of a BBTS-exclusive Dreadnoks seven pack, they've managed to cover over half the figures on my wish list this year.

1) Zanya
2) Zarana
3) Zandar
4) Road Pig
5) Thrasher
10) Lifeline

That just leaves four of my top wants I've previously listed waiting their turn.

6) Billy
7) Jinx
8) modern, urban combat Stalker with no beret (add "no dreadlocks" to that request)
9) female Cobra Troopers, Vipers, Crimson Guards, or Iron Grenadiers (any of these will do)

Zanzibar, Burnout, and Mercer are all icing on the cake. Gnawgahyde ranks near the bottom of my least favorite G.I. JOE characters, but he won't be hurting anyone packed away in a box somewhere. While not as big a deal to me as Mercer, Red Dog and Taurus will certainly be welcome additions to my collection. I'm more thrilled about Zanya than anything; it's great that Hasbro is still reaching into those comics for figures. That's something I've really wanted to see them do. I still want more DDP-era characters like Firewall, Daemon, Mayday, Sparks, Heart-Wrencher, Mistress Armada, and Alexander McCullen, but none of them are a real priority for me. It is time for a new wish list, though, even if most of the characters on it won't be as big a deal to me as what we're getting in the Dreadnoks pack.

1) Billy
2) Jinx
3) modern, urban combat Stalker with no beret or dreadlocks
4) female Cobra Troopers, Vipers, Crimson Guards, or Iron Grenadiers
5) Darklon
6) Big Boa
7) Soft Master
8) Blind Master
9) General Flagg
10) General Philip Rey

I realize those last four are wishful thinking, but it is a "wish" list. While we might see a Blind Master figure in the movie sequel line, I'm sure it won't look anything like the comic character. To be perfectly honest, though, seeing Jinx and Billy would make me a completely content G.I. JOE collector. Everything after those two would just be gravy. Darklon, however, is a tremendously cool character and comes with a unique concept as the ruler of his own nation. I would love to see a Darklonian faction become a major player in the G.I. JOE universe.

Dreadnok: Bloodbath

Going back to the first time I saw Heavy Duty from Hasbro's The Rise Of Cobra preview at Toy Fair, I knew I wanted to use him as the base for a custom. The design was perfect for a character from DDP's Dreadnoks Declassified, specifically the one seen taking cover behind the table in this panel:


With a little paint and some new weapons, the final result just needed a name and a story.




Here's the layered PSD file if anyone can use a G.I. JOE filecard template.

Bloodbath is armed with the Combat Shotgun and Machete (painted) from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

Dreadnok: Bloodbath

New Blood: Night Adder (Cobra Security)

I received my HasbroToyShop.com order for some of the wave 4 figures from The Rise Of Cobra this week. Included was Night Adder, the first unique Cobra character introduced to the property since the 25th Anniversary construction style debuted in 2007.






With Shadow Tracker coming in 2010's Pursuit Of Cobra line, Hasbro's follow-up to The Rise Of Cobra, we'll be getting another brand new character in just a matter of months. This development is right up my alley, as there just haven't been enough distinct personalities in Cobra beyond the army builder figures. Sure, I still wish Hasbro would produce previously established characters like Zandar, Zarana, Zanya, Thrasher, Road Pig (and the tooling used for Night Adder makes for the perfect Road Pig body), and Big Boa, but I'm all for new blood, as well. In fact, I was planning on injecting some into my own collection from the moment I saw the Heavy Duty figure from The Rise Of Cobra in images from Toy Fair. I'll save that for tomorrow, though.

Here Comes The BOOM: Monkeywrench

Cock the glock to your head, let off about two in it. Yeah, it's a dirty job, but I just love doin' it...

Joining the ranks of my 25th Anniversary collection now is Monkeywrench, who was first introduced to the G.I. JOE line in 1986. Almost immediately after I bought a couple of figures for parts to work on this character, he showed up in Wal-Mart's inventory system as part of a forthcoming two-pack in the Rise Of Cobra movie line. I was annoyed at first, but also happy that a proper version was on the way. A few days later, images of a figure with a repainted Outback head were revealed, and I was suddenly happy I'd started gathering the pieces. I'm all for sensible reuse of tooling to create new characters from existing molds, but the key word there is sensible. Outback's head on Monkeywrench doesn't qualify.


I did more kinds of war crimes, more times than in war times, went way before times...

With many thanks to customizer Mandingo Rex for the inspirational recipe:

• Torso, waist, legs, and upper arms: comic pack Torch
• Lower arms: comic pack Ripper
• Head: STAR WARS Legacy Obi-Wan Kenobi
• Bandolier: 2009 five-pack Snake-Eyes
• Vest & sunglasses: Mutt Williams (deluxe version w/ motorcycle)
• Weapon: ARAH Monkeywrench weapon

The hole in the bottom of Obi-Wan's head is bigger than the ball on Torch's neck, so I used Handi-Tak Reusable Adhesive to compensate. It will hold the head in place, but it's not permanent, so I can turn his head back and forth without removing it.


You know what's sad, man? That I'm such a madman, bad man, with that BOOM you never had, man...

Here Comes The BOOM: Monkeywrench

All In The Family: Conclusion

While I spent more time than I care to admit working on these customs, I'd happily toss them in a box and stuff it in the back of a closet if Hasbro would release a properly updated version of Zarana and finally get around to producing a Zanya figure. I haven't yet decided if I'll attempt to come up with Zartan's brother, Zandar. I have a base body set aside for it, but I'm just not sure I'm up to the challenge. I think some actual sculpting would be required just to make it passable, and I had enough difficulty with the painting. That's what keeps me from trying customs of Monkeywrench (check out this one by Gunslingercbr to see how he should look), Road Pig, and Thrasher, too. My only real hope for those characters is that Hasbro decides to kick out with some more Dreadnok goodness once they decide to explore some classics again after the upcoming Rise Of Cobra film.


A snapshot in the family album...

Speaking of the movie toys, I have some ideas I want to try with some of those characters. I haven't seen a figure yet that look as though it will work in my display as is (a couple of the vehicles are another story), but I can definitely appropriate some of the new heads. I'm really looking forward to the Heavy Duty figure, and not because I want Heavy Duty, but because I think his body style and uniform have a lot of potential for something completely different. Depending on what Marvel Universe releases in the way of female characters, I'm hoping that I'll be able to come up with a decent recipe for Jinx.

All In The Family: Conclusion

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zartan
All In The Family: Zarana
All In The Family: Zanya

All In The Family: Zanya

Once I was nearly finished with Zarana, I still had a desire to continue. I knew I wanted Zartan's daughter, Zanya, to go with my Dreadnoks, but where would I start? There are only three females in the line, and I've already combined parts from Scarlett and Lady Jaye to create Zarana. Baroness is the only remaining female, and she's really not much of a starting point for Zanya. It then occurred to me that I really didn't need the same articulation as what's used on the 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE figures; the most important thing was scale. I ventured into my collection room, started digging through some loose figures, and found my base: the "Arena Escape" Padmé Amidala from Attack Of The Clones. Sure, she's one of those figures that's already posed, but that was more than acceptable for my purposes. She'll eventually be used in a diorama, and she likely would have ended up in a similar pose, anyway. Not a perfect solution, but certainly better than any alternative Hasbro has offered in the modern G.I. JOE line.

I used this Dreadnoks poster and images from the pages of Devil's Due Publishing's Dreadnoks: Declassified for reference. I painted her shirt (including Padmé's sleeveless arm) purple first, and then painted over that with black, intentionally leaving the black coverage thin in some areas to recreate the effect of the colors in the DDP comic series. Her pants were painted with two coats of green, and I removed a little bit of paint from a couple of spots by touching it with my finger to create "holes" in them. I went back over those areas with a flesh color. The boots were painted black, followed by some drybrushing with brown to create the "dirty" look. The belt, holster, hands, and hair were painted black, and then I went over parts of her hair with green after that was dry. Getting the lips and eyebrows right was the most difficult part, but I've since invested in some brushes that will make that sort of thing easier in the future.


I've been a bad, bad girl...

Faced with my severe artistic limitations yet again, it was now time to add a DDP Dreadnoks logo to her shirt. What you see is actually my first attempt, and it came out better than I had expected. A découpage solution would have been preferable, but the surface of her chest wasn't smooth enough to accomodate it. I wasn't going for precise detail, but just a recognizable shape, and I think I managed to accomplish that.


Feelin' like a criminal...

Zanya's bike is the Fat Ride from Mattel's Hot Wheels 1:18 Moto line, with Cobra decals from ReproLabels.com.

Zanya is armed with an M1911A1 45, available from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

All In The Family: Zanya

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zartan
All In The Family: Zarana
All In The Family: Conclusion

All In The Family: Zarana

When Hasbro made it clear that they had no plans to release an updated version of Zartan's sister, Zarana, in the 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE line, I looked back at the photo I took of their custom figure of the character from JoeCon 2007. The parts were easy to identify: Scarlett's head, arms, and legs, and Lady Jaye's torso. That was a good start, but I really didn't like the way Scarlett's arms looked when painted to be sleeveless. I thought Zarana could use a bit of an update, too, so I decided to go with a combination of the original look and the Devil's Due Publishing design. I switched to Lady Jaye's arms and substituted Scarlett's lower torso for Lady Jaye's, which allowed for a crop top. I painted her boots black with a bit of brown drybrushing to give them a "dirty" look. I also added Lady Jaye's removable holster belt and painted the handle of her pistol pink so Zarana could accessorize a little. I originally used Scarlett's head, but since she was one of the few members of the G.I. JOE team I had opened for my display of loose figures, I really wanted a unique head for Zarana. That led me to this head from Alyosha's Broken Arrow Toys. Here's the end result:


I know you're a bad, bad woman...

One of the things that distinguished G.I. JOE from other toy lines in the '80s was the diversity of the characters, but that hasn't been reflected as well as it could have been since the 25th Anniversary line was introduced in '07. So far, we have three black males (Roadblock, Stalker, and Alpine), three white females (Scarlett, Lady Jaye, and Baroness), four male characters of Asian ancestry (Storm Shadow [Japanese-American], Quick Kick [Japanese and Korean], Tunnel Rat [Chinese], and the Hard Master [Japanese]), two Native American males (Spirit Iron-Knife & Airborne), and one presumably Polynesian male (Torpedo). That's a total of thirteen characters, ten of whom are males. Compare that to nearly sixty unique white males, not to mention the armies of white Cobra Troopers, Officers, and Vipers in all their various incarnations. Honestly, how hard would it be for Hasbro to thrown in a few black Cobra Troopers here and there? No new tooling is required. Anyway, the line desperately needs more female characters, which was part of my motivation for trying my hand with Zarana and the subject of my next entry, which I'll post in a day or two.

As I mentioned the other day, I truly lack even a hint of artistic ability, so the concept would definitely benefit from having a more skilled painter at the other end of the brush. For my purposes, though, Zarana will suffice, at least until Hasbro finally gets around to releasing an official version. If they don't, though, my display will be fine with this attempt at Zartan's sister.


Good enough for me...

Zarana's bike is the Psycholoco from Mattel's Hot Wheels 1:18 Moto line, with Cobra decals from ReproLabels.com.

Zarana is armed with a Heckler & Koch UMP, available as the Tactical Assault Rifle w/ Removable Ammo clip from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

All In The Family: Zarana

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zartan
All In The Family: Zanya
All In The Family: Conclusion

All In The Family: Zartan

My favorite G.I. JOE character since his introduction in 1984, Zartan finally got the figure he deserved in 2007's 25th Anniversary line. While I loved my original as a kid (I detailed the experience of obtaining that figure on my Must-Haves For Collectors page), the older I got, the more annoyed I became with his appearance. The half shirt look is decidedly dated (to be polite about it), but even more ridiculous was the fact that his crop top body armor had short "sleeves" that weren't even connected to the torso piece. It made no sense, and the figure suffers greatly for it. That didn't change my feelings about the character or his story in the Marvel Comic title, but when Devil's Due Publishing got their hands on the G.I. JOE license, they gave Zartan a properly updated costume. Thankfully, and much to the chagrin of fans perpetually stuck in the '80s, it was something very similar to this look that Hasbro chose for Zartan in the 25th Anniversary line. It combines the chest armor with a long-sleeve shirt under it, making it much easier to take this assassin and master of disguise seriously. Hasbro later acquiesced to the kind of collectors who long for the days of Top Gun, Reaganomics, and hair mousse overdoses, releasing a second version last year. In my G.I. JOE universe, though, this is Zartan.


Got the two glocks with oowops, the bodies traced in chalk...

Hasbro also released three members of Zartan's gang, the Dreadnoks: Buzzer, Ripper, and Torch. As great as it is to have a modern era display of Zartan & the Dreadnoks, some key members are still missing. Classics like Monkeywrench, Road Pig, and Thrasher still haven't made it into the new line, but even more crucial are Zartan's siblings and offspring, Zarana, Zandar, and Zanya. After Hasbro repeatedly said no to the question of producing these characters, I took it upon myself to add Zartan's sister and daugther to my collection, anyway. Now I've never really done anything with action figure customizing, and I have all the artistic ability of a hyena after a week-long methamphetamine binge. With the combined limits of inexperience and being utterly devoid of talent, I knew this was going to be a challenge, but I gave it a shot. Over the next few days, I'll share the results of my efforts.

Zartan's bike is the Rollin' Thunder from Mattel's Hot Wheels 1:18 Moto line, with Cobra decals from ReproLabels.com.

Zartan is armed with two Glock 17s, available as the "Tactical" Automatic Pistol from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

All In The Family: Zartan

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zarana
All In The Family: Zanya
All In The Family: Conclusion