2011: The Year My G.I. JOE "Wish List" Was Massacred

With Hasbro's NYCC reveal of a BBTS-exclusive Dreadnoks seven pack, they've managed to cover over half the figures on my wish list this year.

1) Zanya
2) Zarana
3) Zandar
4) Road Pig
5) Thrasher
10) Lifeline

That just leaves four of my top wants I've previously listed waiting their turn.

6) Billy
7) Jinx
8) modern, urban combat Stalker with no beret (add "no dreadlocks" to that request)
9) female Cobra Troopers, Vipers, Crimson Guards, or Iron Grenadiers (any of these will do)

Zanzibar, Burnout, and Mercer are all icing on the cake. Gnawgahyde ranks near the bottom of my least favorite G.I. JOE characters, but he won't be hurting anyone packed away in a box somewhere. While not as big a deal to me as Mercer, Red Dog and Taurus will certainly be welcome additions to my collection. I'm more thrilled about Zanya than anything; it's great that Hasbro is still reaching into those comics for figures. That's something I've really wanted to see them do. I still want more DDP-era characters like Firewall, Daemon, Mayday, Sparks, Heart-Wrencher, Mistress Armada, and Alexander McCullen, but none of them are a real priority for me. It is time for a new wish list, though, even if most of the characters on it won't be as big a deal to me as what we're getting in the Dreadnoks pack.

1) Billy
2) Jinx
3) modern, urban combat Stalker with no beret or dreadlocks
4) female Cobra Troopers, Vipers, Crimson Guards, or Iron Grenadiers
5) Darklon
6) Big Boa
7) Soft Master
8) Blind Master
9) General Flagg
10) General Philip Rey

I realize those last four are wishful thinking, but it is a "wish" list. While we might see a Blind Master figure in the movie sequel line, I'm sure it won't look anything like the comic character. To be perfectly honest, though, seeing Jinx and Billy would make me a completely content G.I. JOE collector. Everything after those two would just be gravy. Darklon, however, is a tremendously cool character and comes with a unique concept as the ruler of his own nation. I would love to see a Darklonian faction become a major player in the G.I. JOE universe.

Get Ready For G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero #155½

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago when discussing Hasbro's position on the DDP G.I. JOE comics, IDW Publishing gives us G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero #155½ for Free Comic Book Day tomorrow. Larry Hama returns to the continuity he created fifteen years after the book ended, teaming up with artist Agustin Padilla. You can check out a six-page preview of the book over on Newsarama. It will lead to a new ongoing series, starting with issue #156.

While I'm still not thrilled about the DDP stories being tossed to the side, I'm definitely psyched about the chance to read new Larry Hama stories rooted in the old continuity. I like IDW's G.I. JOE Origins, especially the killer covers by Tom Feister, but I stopped buying the main title after six or seven issues. While Hama managed to make his part of the reboot fun, Chuck Dixon was on a mission to put me to sleep, and he was hellbent on completing that objective. I wasn't completely put off by the idea of a reboot, but the execution was severely lacking in entertainment value. I've enjoyed some of Dixon's Bat-work in the past (some, but certainly not all), but he's never been anything special. If anything, he's a third-tier writer, but he's managed to come up with a good story here and there. When it comes to writing G.I. JOE, though, he was never right for the job. It's not that his writing is bad; it's just utterly uninteresting. Andy Schmidt says it's, "geared more towards adults," than the DDP books were, but I beg to differ. Insomniacs are adults who should consider investing in the TPB collections of IDW's G.I. JOE issues, but if IDW ever wants me to start buying their main title again, the best place to start would be replacing Chuck Dixon yesterday.

But enough about the guy who isn't right for the job, because the guy who is right for it returns tomorrow. Here's an interview with Mr. Hama on CBR to whet your appetite. Welcome back, Larry!

G.I. JOE Doesn't Leave Anyone Behind, Hasbro

Back at the beginning of the year, Hasbro responded to a Q&A inquiry about the Devil's Due Publishing books over on JoeReloaded.com. They provided a two-part answer, but I want to focus on the second portion.

Quote: Q: Does Hasbro have an official stance on GI Joe comic original continuity? If so, what is it? Does Hasbro view the Devil's Due published material a continuation of the Marvel published work? A: b) We have no official stance on the Devil’s Due material. It can be viewed as a continuation of the 80's continuity, or as an alternate universe that was inspired by the 80's continuity. Fans can read it according to their personal preference, but we are currently taking the brand in a direction that does not take the Devil's Due story into account.

Hasbro's statement bothered me back when I first read it, but I've been giving it more thought recently while reading some of the DDP material again. I'll be the first to admit that those books had more than their share of flaws at times, especially in the editing department. Looking at the whole of their publication history with the license, though, they produced a considerable amount of quality storytelling. The America's Elite title in particular really got the job done. More importantly, however, the DDP run introduced some fantastic characters while they had the license. If Hasbro wants to abandon the continuity, that's understandable, especially now that Larry Hama is picking up where Marvel #155 left off for IDW. Ignoring those characters would be a huge mistake, though.

Let's think about some of those characters for a moment.

Firewall: A young hacker with a criminal record, she went from being a wet-behind-the-ears recruit who was simply trying to atone for her past to a crucial member of the G.I. JOE team. She had to grow up quickly when her friend (Daemon) and mentor (Mainframe) were KIA.

Kamakura: Snake-Eyes' apprentice and the son of Wade Collins, a former "Fred" in Cobra's Crimson guard who served with Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Stalker.

Mayday: Sergeant Paige Adams didn't get a lot of panel time in the comics, but new female characters are always a welcome addition to the world of G.I. JOE, and this one was especially intriguing due to her skills with a firearm.

Alexander McCullen: Illegitimate son of Destro who assumed his father's role twice.

Lilian Osbourne: Mistress Armada, Alexander McCullen's lover and military commander whose loyalties shifted back and forth from Destro to Cobra Commander.

General Philip Rey: A U.S. military commander who briefly led the G.I. JOE team and later the Phoenix Guard, he was eventually revealed to be a clone from Dr. Mindbender's Serpentor experiments.

Wraith: Charles Halifax, a deadly mercenary with an even more deadly stealth armor suit. While in Destro's employ, he betrayed the Baroness and delivered her to the Jugglers.

Zanya: Zartan's daughter and likely heir to the Dreadnok throne, she's my favorite of all the DDP creations.

Charles Halifax saw his first action figure in 2008, toward the end of the 25th Anniverary/Modern Era line, and there was even a variant Wraith figure. Kamakura was released as an off-screen character in The Rise Of Cobra line. The rest of the characters on this list are still waiting for their first plastic counterparts. While I'm hoping Hasbro gets around to classics like Jinx, Zandar, Zarana, Road Pig, Big Boa, Low-Light, Budo, Lifeline, Iceberg, Airtight, Night-Vipers, and Techno-Vipers, each of these characters from the pages of DDP titles would make for excellent additions to the line. In fact, they're all practically begging to be included.

There's one more thing that shouldn't be forgotten about those comics. In addition to the characters created in the DDP offices, they also did something I didn't believe anyone could ever do: They made Duke an interesting character that I actually looked forward to seeing in the stories. That alone is worthy of tremendous praise, so don't completely disregard those books, Hasbro. Let the stories in the comics go where they will, but keep DDP in mind for future character selection.

Updated October 13, 2011: After seeing these photos, all praise be to Hasbro.

Dreadnok: Bloodbath

Going back to the first time I saw Heavy Duty from Hasbro's The Rise Of Cobra preview at Toy Fair, I knew I wanted to use him as the base for a custom. The design was perfect for a character from DDP's Dreadnoks Declassified, specifically the one seen taking cover behind the table in this panel:


With a little paint and some new weapons, the final result just needed a name and a story.




Here's the layered PSD file if anyone can use a G.I. JOE filecard template.

Bloodbath is armed with the Combat Shotgun and Machete (painted) from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

Dreadnok: Bloodbath

The Milestone Mission

Two weeks and counting until HeroesCon '09, and I'm going through books and making lists of what I need to complete titles, or even just stories in some cases. In addition to supplementing my Marvel and DDP G.I. JOE collections, a big priority this year will be trying to finish off runs of several Milestone Media titles. I'm specifically trying to pick up the few issues of Blood Syndicate, Hardware, Icon, and Static that I'm still missing. I'd like to pick up some Xombi and Shadow Cabinet books, too, but I'm very close to full sets of the other four, so they'll be the focus of my search efforts.


With Static and other characters from the Milestone Dakotaverse making their way into the DCU, I'd like to get reacquainted with them, so I'll be looking to fill out the holes in my collection when the convention starts on June 19. I've gone through all of my single issues, so now it's on to my hardcovers and trade paperbacks to see what else I'll be trying to acquire.

All In The Family: Zanya

Once I was nearly finished with Zarana, I still had a desire to continue. I knew I wanted Zartan's daughter, Zanya, to go with my Dreadnoks, but where would I start? There are only three females in the line, and I've already combined parts from Scarlett and Lady Jaye to create Zarana. Baroness is the only remaining female, and she's really not much of a starting point for Zanya. It then occurred to me that I really didn't need the same articulation as what's used on the 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE figures; the most important thing was scale. I ventured into my collection room, started digging through some loose figures, and found my base: the "Arena Escape" Padmé Amidala from Attack Of The Clones. Sure, she's one of those figures that's already posed, but that was more than acceptable for my purposes. She'll eventually be used in a diorama, and she likely would have ended up in a similar pose, anyway. Not a perfect solution, but certainly better than any alternative Hasbro has offered in the modern G.I. JOE line.

I used this Dreadnoks poster and images from the pages of Devil's Due Publishing's Dreadnoks: Declassified for reference. I painted her shirt (including Padmé's sleeveless arm) purple first, and then painted over that with black, intentionally leaving the black coverage thin in some areas to recreate the effect of the colors in the DDP comic series. Her pants were painted with two coats of green, and I removed a little bit of paint from a couple of spots by touching it with my finger to create "holes" in them. I went back over those areas with a flesh color. The boots were painted black, followed by some drybrushing with brown to create the "dirty" look. The belt, holster, hands, and hair were painted black, and then I went over parts of her hair with green after that was dry. Getting the lips and eyebrows right was the most difficult part, but I've since invested in some brushes that will make that sort of thing easier in the future.


I've been a bad, bad girl...

Faced with my severe artistic limitations yet again, it was now time to add a DDP Dreadnoks logo to her shirt. What you see is actually my first attempt, and it came out better than I had expected. A découpage solution would have been preferable, but the surface of her chest wasn't smooth enough to accomodate it. I wasn't going for precise detail, but just a recognizable shape, and I think I managed to accomplish that.


Feelin' like a criminal...

Zanya's bike is the Fat Ride from Mattel's Hot Wheels 1:18 Moto line, with Cobra decals from ReproLabels.com.

Zanya is armed with an M1911A1 45, available from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

All In The Family: Zanya

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zartan
All In The Family: Zarana
All In The Family: Conclusion

All In The Family: Zarana

When Hasbro made it clear that they had no plans to release an updated version of Zartan's sister, Zarana, in the 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE line, I looked back at the photo I took of their custom figure of the character from JoeCon 2007. The parts were easy to identify: Scarlett's head, arms, and legs, and Lady Jaye's torso. That was a good start, but I really didn't like the way Scarlett's arms looked when painted to be sleeveless. I thought Zarana could use a bit of an update, too, so I decided to go with a combination of the original look and the Devil's Due Publishing design. I switched to Lady Jaye's arms and substituted Scarlett's lower torso for Lady Jaye's, which allowed for a crop top. I painted her boots black with a bit of brown drybrushing to give them a "dirty" look. I also added Lady Jaye's removable holster belt and painted the handle of her pistol pink so Zarana could accessorize a little. I originally used Scarlett's head, but since she was one of the few members of the G.I. JOE team I had opened for my display of loose figures, I really wanted a unique head for Zarana. That led me to this head from Alyosha's Broken Arrow Toys. Here's the end result:


I know you're a bad, bad woman...

One of the things that distinguished G.I. JOE from other toy lines in the '80s was the diversity of the characters, but that hasn't been reflected as well as it could have been since the 25th Anniversary line was introduced in '07. So far, we have three black males (Roadblock, Stalker, and Alpine), three white females (Scarlett, Lady Jaye, and Baroness), four male characters of Asian ancestry (Storm Shadow [Japanese-American], Quick Kick [Japanese and Korean], Tunnel Rat [Chinese], and the Hard Master [Japanese]), two Native American males (Spirit Iron-Knife & Airborne), and one presumably Polynesian male (Torpedo). That's a total of thirteen characters, ten of whom are males. Compare that to nearly sixty unique white males, not to mention the armies of white Cobra Troopers, Officers, and Vipers in all their various incarnations. Honestly, how hard would it be for Hasbro to thrown in a few black Cobra Troopers here and there? No new tooling is required. Anyway, the line desperately needs more female characters, which was part of my motivation for trying my hand with Zarana and the subject of my next entry, which I'll post in a day or two.

As I mentioned the other day, I truly lack even a hint of artistic ability, so the concept would definitely benefit from having a more skilled painter at the other end of the brush. For my purposes, though, Zarana will suffice, at least until Hasbro finally gets around to releasing an official version. If they don't, though, my display will be fine with this attempt at Zartan's sister.


Good enough for me...

Zarana's bike is the Psycholoco from Mattel's Hot Wheels 1:18 Moto line, with Cobra decals from ReproLabels.com.

Zarana is armed with a Heckler & Koch UMP, available as the Tactical Assault Rifle w/ Removable Ammo clip from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

All In The Family: Zarana

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zartan
All In The Family: Zanya
All In The Family: Conclusion

All In The Family: Zartan

My favorite G.I. JOE character since his introduction in 1984, Zartan finally got the figure he deserved in 2007's 25th Anniversary line. While I loved my original as a kid (I detailed the experience of obtaining that figure on my Must-Haves For Collectors page), the older I got, the more annoyed I became with his appearance. The half shirt look is decidedly dated (to be polite about it), but even more ridiculous was the fact that his crop top body armor had short "sleeves" that weren't even connected to the torso piece. It made no sense, and the figure suffers greatly for it. That didn't change my feelings about the character or his story in the Marvel Comic title, but when Devil's Due Publishing got their hands on the G.I. JOE license, they gave Zartan a properly updated costume. Thankfully, and much to the chagrin of fans perpetually stuck in the '80s, it was something very similar to this look that Hasbro chose for Zartan in the 25th Anniversary line. It combines the chest armor with a long-sleeve shirt under it, making it much easier to take this assassin and master of disguise seriously. Hasbro later acquiesced to the kind of collectors who long for the days of Top Gun, Reaganomics, and hair mousse overdoses, releasing a second version last year. In my G.I. JOE universe, though, this is Zartan.


Got the two glocks with oowops, the bodies traced in chalk...

Hasbro also released three members of Zartan's gang, the Dreadnoks: Buzzer, Ripper, and Torch. As great as it is to have a modern era display of Zartan & the Dreadnoks, some key members are still missing. Classics like Monkeywrench, Road Pig, and Thrasher still haven't made it into the new line, but even more crucial are Zartan's siblings and offspring, Zarana, Zandar, and Zanya. After Hasbro repeatedly said no to the question of producing these characters, I took it upon myself to add Zartan's sister and daugther to my collection, anyway. Now I've never really done anything with action figure customizing, and I have all the artistic ability of a hyena after a week-long methamphetamine binge. With the combined limits of inexperience and being utterly devoid of talent, I knew this was going to be a challenge, but I gave it a shot. Over the next few days, I'll share the results of my efforts.

Zartan's bike is the Rollin' Thunder from Mattel's Hot Wheels 1:18 Moto line, with Cobra decals from ReproLabels.com.

Zartan is armed with two Glock 17s, available as the "Tactical" Automatic Pistol from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

All In The Family: Zartan

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zarana
All In The Family: Zanya
All In The Family: Conclusion