Compulsive Collector Blog

The Little Drummer Boba

2011-12-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

Cloned on Kamino (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

Only son of Jango (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

A Jedi killed my pops (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

He sliced his head right off (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum).

I will avenge him (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

With laser guns.

Do what I must do (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

To get to Mace Windu (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

And bring about his doom (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

Plant a bomb in his room (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum),

Blow him to pieces (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

Jedi scum.

Disguised as a cadet (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

My name is Boba Fett (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

It seemed all hope was lost (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

But I was rescued by Bossk (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum),

I end up sarlacc food (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum),

That's no fun. :-(

2011: The Year My G.I. JOE "Wish List" Was Massacred

2011-10-18T13:11:00.003-04:00

With Hasbro's NYCC reveal of a BBTS-exclusive Dreadnoks seven pack, they've managed to cover over half the figures on my wish list this year.

1) Zanya
2) Zarana
3) Zandar
4) Road Pig
5) Thrasher
10) Lifeline

That just leaves four of my top wants I've previously listed waiting their turn.

6) Billy
7) Jinx
8) modern, urban combat Stalker with no beret (add "no dreadlocks" to that request)
9) female Cobra Troopers, Vipers, Crimson Guards, or Iron Grenadiers (any of these will do)

Zanzibar, Burnout, and Mercer are all icing on the cake. Gnawgahyde ranks near the bottom of my least favorite G.I. JOE characters, but he won't be hurting anyone packed away in a box somewhere. While not as big a deal to me as Mercer, Red Dog and Taurus will certainly be welcome additions to my collection. I'm more thrilled about Zanya than anything; it's great that Hasbro is still reaching into those comics for figures. That's something I've really wanted to see them do. I still want more DDP-era characters like Firewall, Daemon, Mayday, Sparks, Heart-Wrencher, Mistress Armada, and Alexander McCullen, but none of them are a real priority for me. It is time for a new wish list, though, even if most of the characters on it won't be as big a deal to me as what we're getting in the Dreadnoks pack.

1) Billy
2) Jinx
3) modern, urban combat Stalker with no beret or dreadlocks
4) female Cobra Troopers, Vipers, Crimson Guards, or Iron Grenadiers
5) Darklon
6) Big Boa
7) Soft Master
8) Blind Master
9) General Flagg
10) General Philip Rey

I realize those last four are wishful thinking, but it is a "wish" list. While we might see a Blind Master figure in the movie sequel line, I'm sure it won't look anything like the comic character. To be perfectly honest, though, seeing Jinx and Billy would make me a completely content G.I. JOE collector. Everything after those two would just be gravy. Darklon, however, is a tremendously cool character and comes with a unique concept as the ruler of his own nation. I would love to see a Darklonian faction become a major player in the G.I. JOE universe.

We're Not Hasbr-Owed Exclusive Toys

2011-07-26T17:55:00.000-04:00

So Hasbro's Comic-Con exclusives were sold at HasbroToyShop this morning, and many people were unable to complete the checkout process. This is nothing new. The same thing happened when we were all trying to buy the variant Cobra Commander from 2008. That didn't stop the internet from overflowing with Nerd Rage, though. All the, "I'm done with G.I. JOE!" anger really isn't much of a surprise, but some people seriously need a bit of perspective.

1) These are limited edition items. No one was guaranteed anything, and the word from the show was that quantities would be - wait for it - limited.

2) Just a few short years ago, manufacturers didn't make exclusives available online to people who had not attended the shows. The exclusives were, you know, exclusive. This is an opportunity for a few people to get the items at the original price, not a promise of a Zarana for everyone at $15.

3) All those of us who didn't go to SDCC did this morning was sit on our asses in front of computer screens. People paid to travel to San Diego, paid to get into SDCC, stood in lines for hours, and still missed them. If people who invested a ton of time and money to attend the event for which the exclusives were created in the first place missed out, then exactly why should anyone be feeling sorry for themselves over missing what was already a slim chance online this morning? And more importantly, why should anyone else have any sympathy for you?

Hobbies are supposed to be fun. If yours makes you angry or unhappy, you really, honestly should find something else to occupy your time. And no, I wasn't successful in trying to get what I wanted this morning, either. And yes, I had what I wanted in my cart for over forty-five minutes while I tried to get through the checkout. Big. Fucking. Deal. It's just a toy, and if I want it badly enough (which I do), I'll pay market value to acquire one. If I didn't want it enough to pay that much, I'd be fine living without it. Would it have been nice to get a limited variant for way less than market value? Obviously. Not getting it for the low price is no reason to get angry, though. Not getting a toy is no big deal. What is disappointing is seeing adults who share my interests behaving like spoiled, self-entitled brats.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to add some Cold Slither Zarana auctions to my watch list on eBay.

Let My Ninjas Live

2011-07-15T00:05:00.003-04:00

It's something I've seen and heard more times than I care to remember, and it's popped up a lot recently since Lorenzo di Bonaventura described the next G.I. JOE movie by saying, "Well, the ninja fans are going to love it." I'm talking about anti-nijaism among some G.I. JOE fans. It's not enough to say, "I don't like ninjas," either. A tactic employed by those with an anti-ninja agenda is to repeatedly use words like "we" and "us," presuming to speak for the entire fandom with their complaints.

We don't like ninjas. We want JOE to be pure military! Ninjas don't even exist, and how can we enjoy G.I. JOE if it's not bound by strict realism? We hated it when Snake-Eyes was revealed to be a ninja. Who gave Hasbro the right to change one of our favorite characters without consulting us? The fans don't like ninjas! This isn't what we want!

Like a politician saying, "what the American people want," instead of, "what my party wants," these purveyors of anti-ninjaite rhetoric would have you believe all G.I. JOE fans are united in a bond of hatred. The way they tell it, "we" want all soldiers, all the time. Some want more, though, and it's time for those of us who accept and even embrace ninjas to stand up and be heard (or read, as the case may be). Like it or not, ninjas are a huge part of the G.I. JOE vs. Cobra mythology, and that was established as early as G.I. JOE #10 when we first learned of Snake-Eyes' ninjatastic past.

Enter the ninja.

Ninjas were a significant part of A Real American Hero for the overwhelming majority of its wildly successful run in the '80s. Why did they have to change Snake-Eyes from the commando all of us loved to a ninja? That's not what we wanted! I don't think "we" were having the same adventures with our toys as kids. Snake-Eyes was already my favorite JOE, but learning that he was an American ninja just made him even cooler. And you know what? He's still a commando, only he's extra awesome, because he's a ninja commando. I wouldn't have found G.I. JOE to be nearly as captivating if it wasn't for the villains in absurd costumes, biker gangs, and yes, the ninjas. All these elements helped G.I. JOE become more than just a line of toy soldiers.

A preference for the military aspect of G.I. JOE isn't surprising, but it's pointless to pretend like G.I. JOE would even still be G.I. JOE without the ninjas, the Dreadnoks, or Cobra. These are all vital ingredients that made the property what it is. You know what wasn't? Realism! If anyone wants a straight, no-nonsense line of military action figures, I'd recommend these. They're very nice, but I'd be more inclined to collect them if they had some (lots of) ninjas.

No one has to be an anti-ninjaite. It's never too late to let go of the prejudices and hate. Anyone can still learn to think of ninjas like Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, Jinx, and Kamakura as badasses, which they fucking are. Many of us love the ninja aspect of the JOE universe just as much as the military theme, and we wouldn't be as enthusiastic about the brand without them. Somewhere deep inside each and every one of us is an inner child who once played with throwing stars from the army surplus store because our parents were irresponsible, awesome, or both. Who wouldn't like to set that recklessly unsupervised kid free? Doesn't he - or she- deserve to come out and play in a world with ninjas?

So until next time, Yo Ninja!

How many ninjas is too many? Trick question. You can never have too many ninjas.

Fighting for Freedom Wherever There's Trouble

2011-07-04T13:37:00.005-04:00

Americans like to celebrate our independence by blowing up stuff, and I'm no exception. Here's my contribution to the destruction, my Independence Day Assault set on Flickr.

Trust me, it gets worse for that Cobra H.I.S.S. I tried using M-150s first, but as you can see in the COBRA H.I.S.S. vs. M-150s video, that didn't cause nearly enough devastation.

Some HeroesCon 2011 Photos

2011-06-21T07:37:00.002-04:00

I go to HeroesCon every year with the intention of taking more photos. And every year, I get so caught up chatting with people, buying art, looking at toys, and digging through boxes of comics that I pretty much forget I even have a camera on me. I did manage to take a few pictures this year, which you can see in my HeroesCon 2011 Flickr set. When I say I took a few photos, though, that's exactly what I mean.

Listening Is Half the Battle

2011-06-10T03:45:00.002-04:00

I don't listen to many podcasts, but I thought I'd let people know about one I do enjoy, What’s on JOE Mind? Starring Greg (Crosshair), Gary (cmderinchief), Chuck (chuckdawg1999), and Justin (General Hawk) of GeneralsJoes.com, What’s on JOE Mind? covers the hobby of G.I. JOE collecting. The focus is on the Hasbro action figure lines, but they also discuss the cartoons, comics, and all other aspects of the hobby. Everything from interviewing special guests to talking about this week's new toy acquisitions, they bring the G.I. JOE property to your speakers and/or headphones every week. Most importantly, they have fun with it, and that makes for a fun listening experience. They're up to their eighth episode, so if you haven't checked out their show yet, this is a great time to catch up on everything you've missed.

X-Force

2011-06-02T23:09:00.002-04:00

More Crossing the streams additions, this time featuring Asajj Ventress and Wolverine.

Mortal Kombat

2011-04-10T00:14:00.003-04:00

More additions to Crossing the streams, my photoset on Flickr. This time it's Spider-Man vs. Storm Shadow, and someone isn't walking away from this one.

The Last Son of Krypton goes up against the Devourer of Worlds.

Crossing the streams...

2011-04-05T13:11:00.002-04:00

Blurring the lines between universes in a new set on Flickr.

The Hard Truth About Comic and Toy Geeks

2011-03-08T00:13:00.000-05:00

Back in 2004, Chris Rock recorded his Grammy-winning Never Scared album and HBO special in Washington, D.C. He spent some time joking about relationships and women in particular, but when I listen to his jokes, I can't help hearing the whining voices of comic fans and toy collectors instead. And since it's Chris Rock in the video, it's probably not safe for your office.

Just substitute collectors or fans for women and tell me you don't hear a familiar tune. Any rational fan who takes time out of his/her day to talk toys on the interweb will soon begin to suspect that those of us who actually enjoy our hobby are in the minority. And forget about comic book fans, who so often come off more as detractors than fans. I'm not so sure that the guys and gals having fun really are a minority, but the people having anything but fun are certainly loud enough to drown out everyone else at times. The hard truth about comic and toy geeks is that many are more interested in collecting reasons to complain than collecting, you know, comics and toys.

Why did DC kill so-and-so? They're always killing my favorite characters! I hate this shit!

Why did Marvel bring so-and-so back to life? Why can't they leave dead characters dead? I hate this shit!

Why are there so many different covers that I don't even have to buy? They're so greedy. I hate this shit!

Why do I have to buy so many books just to keep up with the continuity? I can't afford all this. All they care about is money. I hate this shit!

Why do they release so many books that don't affect the larger continuity? I don't want to read anything that's not important. I hate this shit!

Why does Hasbro reuse so many parts and release so many repaints I'm in no way obligated to purchase? I hate this shit!

Why doesn't Mattel make more new characters with existing tooling? I hate this shit!

I went to the store and some scalper had already bought all the new figures. Why can't they leave some of what they want to buy and got to first for other people? I hate this shit!

Why doesn't my comic book store have more back issues? I don't want to look at toys and statues. I hate this shit!

Why does my comic book store waste so much space on back issues? I'll buy trades if I want to read old ass stories. I hate this shit!

Why is so-and-so writing Superman? He doesn't know how to write Superman! I hate this shit!

Why is this web site covering independent titles? I'm not interested in books that aren't about superheroes. I hate this shit!

Why doesn't my store always have what I want in stock when I walk into the toy aisles? Hasbro and/or Mattel suck! I hate this shit!

Why does Hasbro short-pack the army builders? I'm sick of never finding the twenty of one figure that I want at the first store I check. I hate this shit!

Why does Hasbro put so many army builders in one case? I'm sick of seeing them clogging up the pegs. I hate this shit!

Why do Mattel's figures have so little articulation? I can't put my toys in ballet poses if the toes aren't articulated. I hate this shit!

Why do Hasbro's figures have so much articulation? All these joints are confusing me. I hate this shit!

Why doesn't Mattel pack more accessories with their figures? Why can't we get a little value for our money? I hate this shit!

Why does Hasbro pack so many accessories with their figures? They come with more than they can hold or carry. I can't stand having display options or getting more value. I hate this shit!

Why is this artist drawing Batman? His style is too cartoony. I hate this shit!

Why is this artist drawing X-Men? Her style is too realistic. I hate this shit!

Why is what I want a convention exclusive? Why can't I get all the same things everyone else gets without so much as getting off my ass? I hate this shit!

Why does Hasbro charge so much for new vehicles? I'm waiting for these to go on clearance before I buy them. I hate this shit!

Why doesn't Mattel make more vehicles for the few of us who will actually pay full price for them? I hate this shit!

Why do toys cost so much now? Why should I have to pay for the rising cost of labor and materials? They should eat that and make less profit. I hate this shit!

Why aren't these toys painted and assembled perfectly every time? They should all be made in America without increasing prices. I hate this shit!

Why was my favorite comic that I illegally downloaded every month canceled? I hate this shit!

Why is my favorite action figure line ending five years after the final episode of its corresponding cartoon aired? I hate this shit!

And so on, and so on, and so on, ad nauseam.

There Is No Dana, Only Hasbro

2011-02-15T19:07:00.005-05:00

With another Toy Fair coming to an end tomorrow, I can feel my wallet getting lighter already.

Other than the first couple of Episode III waves in 2005, I haven't actively collected STAR WARS figures since 2003. The more I shopped for The Clone Wars figures for this little Clone Trooper's Christmas presents, though, the more they grew on me. So while I was in Toys Я Us on January 28, I picked up my first four figures from the line. I bought my fifth at another store just a few miles down the highway. Less than three weeks later, I have over twenty of the things. So in addition to waiting for G.I. JOE and Marvel Universe news, now I was eager to see what was coming from that line, too. Hasbro did not disappoint. Does that mean I loved and will buy everything shown? Of course not, but I prefer to focus on toys that I do like. Here are some of my favorite highlights of the reveals from those three lines.

And check out these great G.I. JOE: Renegades toys over at Generals Joes. How great is that Cobra Commander figure? The company's products continue to impress.

Meanwhile, Mattel announced that 2011 would be the last year for their only line I collect, Justice League Unlimited. That writing has been on the wall for some time now, and they've done wonders with the character selection in the Bruce Timm style. It's no surprise that the line is winding down, and you won't get any complaints from me. I do wish they'd find a way to do something more with the DC license, though, specifically in the 3¾" scale. It looks like I'm on my way to being a Hasbro-only collector, though, at least when it comes to mainstream retail brands.

And special thanks to Yodasnews, The Terror Drome, Generals Joes, ToyNewsi, and Action Figure Insider for keeping the rest of us informed during Toy Fair.

The Customer Is Often Stupid

2011-02-10T17:55:00.002-05:00

While covering eBay analyst day today, eBay blogger Richard Brewer-Hay (@ebayinkblog) posted these comments on Twitter.

Quote:

1. Many shoppers prefer free shipping. This is becoming a base-level expectation for ecommerce #ebayinc

2. One third of eBay Q4 sold items had free shipping up nicely over the last two years. #ebayinc

If I interpreted correctly, he was repeating sentiments expressed by Christopher Payne, "head of North America eBay marketplaces."

Well, who wouldn't prefer anything that's free? The problem with this thinking is that shipping is never "free." No matter how it's described to you on a web site, you're paying for it. Whether it's a brick and mortar store, Amazon, or a seller on eBay, every cost of doing business is always passed along to the customer. Always. The "free" shipping option on Amazon is no exception. It just means their profit margins are high enough that whatever economy shipping method they use is built into the price, as long as you spend at least $25 on your order.

And that's true of any Buy It Now item on eBay with "free" shipping, too. The seller has already factored his/her cost to ship and built it into the price. Most sellers who offer free shipping on auctions have built it into their opening bids. Find some who didn't, and you could get very lucky. Those sellers don't tend to last long, though, unless they're selling "hot" widgets that will almost always command good bids and listing them with proper titles, descriptions, and photos. You're far less likely to get a great deal in those cases, though.

How does encouraging sellers to offer "free" shipping benefit eBay? First, they want to compete with the Amazon model. There's nothing wrong with that, but until eBay gives indepedent sellers the boot and manages all the inventory and sales themselves, that's never going to happen. All those shipping supplies Amazon uses? They pay a lot less for that stuff than you or I will pay, and they get the discounted prices for the same reason they get discounts on books and movies. They buy in volume, the kind of volume most eBay sellers will never dream of doing. Second, eBay doesn't collect fees on added shipping charges. If the cost to ship is built into the price, that's better for eBay's bottom line.

What does that mean for shoppers? Remember the part about all costs of business being passed to customers? eBay fees are no exception. Sellers are prohibited from adding a surcharge for eBay fees, but the shipping, handling, and eBay fees are built into the price. A "free" shipping offer means additional eBay fees are in the price of your item. If Seller A has Wanted Item for a $24.99 Buy It Now price with "free" shipping, but Seller B has Wanted Item for $19.99 and $2.99 shipping, are there really buyers who will prefer the listing with "free" shipping? Don't doubt it for a second.

There are two kinds of shoppers who prefer "free" shipping: those without any understanding of how business works and those who suck at math. The rest of us just want the best deal, and we couldn't care less how it's calculated.

Little Darth Vader Volkswagen Commercial

2011-02-02T13:11:00.001-05:00

This is one of the cutest ad spots you'll ever see. I imagine they'll show this during the Super Bowl on Sunday. If so, it's guaranteed to be the year's best.

Flophouse Films' Collectable Spectacle II “Airedevon” Documentary Series

2011-01-18T13:11:00.000-05:00

This is must-see interweb. It all starts here, but the embedded video below is what got me hooked. Check out Airedevon's massive action figure collection and marvel at her extensive knowledge of and dedication to the hobby.

COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 1 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 2 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 3 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 4 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 5 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 6 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 7 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 8 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 9 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 10 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 11 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 12 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 13 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 14 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 15 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 16 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 17 of 18
COLLECTABLE SPECTACLE "Airedevon" 18 of 18

Evil In League With Satan

2010-09-17T12:54:00.001-04:00

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse Trailer

2010-08-17T13:11:00.000-04:00

The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes Trailer

2010-07-28T13:11:00.001-04:00

Thanks once again to ENI for uploading the video.

DC Universe Online Opening

2010-07-26T12:33:00.002-04:00

Thanks to ENI for uploading the video.

TRON: Legacy Theatrical Trailer

2010-07-22T20:30:00.000-04:00

So You Want To Talk Toys On The Interweb

2010-07-16T17:55:00.004-04:00

Really? Are you sure about that? What are you, some kind of masochist?

Look, if you insist on proceeding, I can't stop you. You're free to make your own decisions, despite being cautioned against this activity. If you're determined to do it, though, at least familiarize yourself with this glossary of words you'll need to know. Sooner or later, you'll be glad that you did. Please note that these definitions are specific to members of toy-related interweb forums. If I provided you with the actual, correct meanings, this guide wouldn't do you a bit of good in your toy board adventures.

"AFA" - Or Action Figure Authority, a scam masquerading as a thorough and complicated grading service for action figure collectors, designed only to rob them of their money and taunt the "real" collectors who open their toys.
"Bender" - Remember how "real" collectors remove all of their toys from the packaging? This is the realest of the real, the guy who bends cards in retail stores so fake collectors who keep figures carded won't want them.
"The Children" - Strategic contrivance employed to induce guilt. "You bought more than one of that figure? What about the children?" "Why is Hasbro/Mattel/Target/Wal-Mart/whatever selling these for so much? What about the children?"
"Death" - The inevitable result of anything deemed unsatisfactory by the individual using the term. Usually expressed as, "death of the line."
"evilbay" - Disparaging term for eBay used by people who feel entitled to anything and everything for retail price, despite the secondary market value determined by actual demand.
"feebay" - Disparaging term for eBay used by people who think the pennies eBay charges for exposing their wares to an entire world of shoppers is too much money.
"Greed" - Adjective used to describe any action that would add more to one's collection than the individual using the term deems appropriate or generate profit from the sale of a toy. See "Scalper" and "Hoarder." Also applied to manufacturers after rising costs of materials and labor result in MSRP increases on those companies' products.
"Hoarder" - Anyone who acquires more of something than the individual using the term wants for his/her own collection.
"Internet" - A series of tubes used exclusively to bitch, whine, moan, complain, and throw tantrums.
"Kids" - Young, small humans who are only interested in playing video games. Toy manufacturers don't know what they're talking about when they say these kids account for the overwhelming majority of action figure sales. Adult collectors know better than professionals who do actual research; those collectors know THEY ARE LEGION.
"Loose" - The only acceptable method of displaying any action figure.
"MOC" - "Mint On Card" describes an action figure that was never removed from its packaging by the phony collector who purchased it.
"Nerd rage" - Used by some of the few rational, level-headed people who frequent such web sites to describe the hysterical fits thrown by contributors who often use the other terms found on this list.
"Opener" - The "real" collector who opens all of his toys, as anyone who leaves anything in a package is inherently inferior and should probably die in some excruciatingly painful manner.
"Prototype" - This word is used incorrectly by the overwhelming majority of collectors at least 100% of the time to describe any action figure from any stage of production prior to the factory run that actually spits out the retail figures.
"Rape" - Any attempt to sell a toy for a price considered unreasonably high (which means anything above retail) by the individual using the term. This can also be what is done to one's childhood when licensed characters are reimagined for modern adaptations. Sensitivity to victims of actual sexual assault is not to be expected.
"Scalper" - Anyone who buys something the individual using the term wants for him/herself, but is currently having difficulty finding, regardless of whether or not the purchaser intends to resell it. Used by Toy Trotskyists who find the most basic principles of capitalism offensive and/or inconvenient.
"Theif" - Anyone who sells a toy on eBay for more than retail price. See "Scalper." Despite what you may have learned in English class, the plural form is theifs, as in, "I often get raped by eBay theifs." In the never ending battle to mangle the language, this is used by people who never grasped, "I before E, except after C."
"Value" - Never more than original retail price. Anything else is "rape."

Batman: Under the Red Hood Clip

2010-06-24T07:54:00.002-04:00

Judging by this clip, Bruce Greenwood is the best Batman voice they've found so far who isn't named Kevin Conroy. Batman: Under the Red Hood comes out July 27, 2010.

Warner Bros. Takes A Great Idea And Runs With It

2010-06-23T17:55:00.001-04:00

What makes it a great idea? For starters, it was mine. Okay, so I obviously wasn't the only person who had the idea, but it's something I've been advocating for some time now. Here's the text from a marketing e-mail I received today.

From Warner Bros.:

Upgrade your Warner Bros. DVD library to Blu-ray™ with the DVD2Blu program presented by WBShop.com. Upgrade your DVDs for as little as $4.95 per exchange with free shipping* for orders of more than $35.00. Over 90 titles are available now!

In just three easy steps you can enjoy your favorite Warner Bros. films in the full glory of High Definition.

The Blu-ray upgrade is sent back to you complete with case, cover art, bonus material, etc. Jumpstart your Blu-ray library today!

UPGRADE TODAY

* For orders over $35.00 shipping & handling per order is $4.95 for the contiguous United States and District of Columbia and $6.95 to Hawaii, Alaska and Puerto Rico (plus applicable taxes). Certain restrictions apply.

The reason I've been saying studios should do this for the last couple of years is that consumers bought a license for the movie when they purchased the DVD. The right to own a copy of the movie costs a lot more than the physical product, and upgrading means paying for that twice. If content producers want to encourage their customers to embrace the Blu-ray format, then an exchange program makes perfect sense. This way, you don't force them to pay for the license again, but only the cost of the physical media. I see three or four titles in the initial offering that I would definitely like to upgrade, so I'll be taking advantage of this opportunity shortly. You don't even have to mail in the cases of your original DVDs, so if there are inserts with artwork you want to keep (I'm thinking of the Batman Begins DVD as an example), that won't be a problem. My only complaint is that each household is limited to twenty-five exchanges total, but that won't be an issue for me. If you want to check it out for yourself, get the details here.

So for all the other studios in Hollywood, why aren't you doing this, too? Get on it!

New Batman Fan Film

2010-06-21T13:11:00.000-04:00

A new Batman fan film called City of Scars hit Dailymotion on Friday. Writer/director Aaron Schoenke has been down this road before, and while this was certainly an improvement over his previous efforts, it's still not very enjoyable. The fact that it was made on a budget of $27,000 is really the most impressive thing about it. Kevin Porter will grow on you as Batman, but Paul Molnar is terrible as the Joker once again. While I do like the concept for the Batman costume design, the strange bat symbol on the chest really detracts from the overall look. As much time as Schoenke has obviously spent reading comics, or at least referencing them for story ideas, he's just another guy with a camera who doesn't realize Batman's cowl is supposed to be equipped with lenses over his eyes. The black makeup look always irritates me, even in the Nolan films.

But hey, check it out for yourself and see what you think.

A G.I. JOE Collecting Update

2010-06-18T13:11:00.004-04:00

First of all, I ordered from CobraStickers.com for the first time at the end of May, and the decals arrived on Saturday. I didn't get time to mess with them until Tuesday night, but what a difference they made on the Target Rattlers. I didn't replace all of the Hasbro decals, but using these for everything on the bombs and the black decal at the nose made them look so much better. I got some The Rise Of Cobra JOE symbol decals for my aircraft, too. I really like the logo, and I already had it on the Dragonhawk and several other things from the movie line. Got a couple of sheets of Cobra sigils, some M.A.R.S. logos, and some Dreadnoks symbols, too. While it has no danger of being as addictive as Marauder, I have no doubt that I'll order from them again. I absolutely recommend giving their products a try if you have such a need (especially since they're pre-cut, which was a huge plus for me). I'll be adding a link to their site here on the blog.

Secondly, I finally scored some $3 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE figures at a couple of Family Dollar stores. Two B.A.T.s, an armored Cobra Commander, Wraith, and a Snow Serpent for $15 isn't a bad deal at all. I'm still hoping to find some Cobra Divers and Ninja Vipers at that price, but I'm not complaining.

And third, I took all of two photos at HeroesCon, and they were basically two photos of the same thing. Terrible, I know, but I do have photos of all the G.I. JOE books I got signed at the convention.

G.I. JOE Origins signed by Tom Feister (all three) & Merrill Hagan (#15 with Snow Job)

G.I. JOE (Hasbro) signed by Jeremy Dale

G.I. JOE: Cobra #1 and G.I. JOE: Cobra II #1 signed by Christos Gage

G.I. JOE (IDW) #0 & #6 signed by Robert Atkins

G.I. JOE and the Transformers #1 signed by Herb Trimpe

Now if only I could get a few books signed by Mike Zeck, I'd have autographs of all the best of the best from G.I. JOE comics in my collection. I'll post photos of all the non-JOE books I got signed next time, followed by some of the superb art I bought this year.

14 Days Until HeroesCon 2010

2010-05-21T13:11:00.001-04:00

HeroesCon 2010 begins two weeks from today. With fourteen days to go:

A Google search for HeroesCon still takes you to the old location on the web site. I mentioned this in September, and there's still no redirect.
A list of exhibitors for this year's convention has not been published. In fact, only late last night was it announced that this would be coming, "pretty soon."
On the "promotional" page of the convention site, there's a note that reads, "Coming soon--we'll be building a number of 2010 banners! Stay tuned!" All you'll find on the page are 2009 banners, though. So if you're a creator, independent artist, or exhibitor who wanted to promote the fact that you'll be at HeroesCon this year on your own site, I hope you were able to make your own banner. I don't know how long you're supposed to, "stay tuned."

I know that it takes a lot of work to put on an event like this. I realize everyone involved is busy. This stuff comes across as amateurish, though, and they've done a better job in years past. Admission prices were increased last year, and vendors are charged $700-$850 for a booth on the convention floor. A small press table is $300. These are not insignificant sums of money. In addition to the $30 for a weekend pass, you also want attendees to spend plenty of loot while they're inside. Looking at all of this, though, one is left with the impression that the organizers aren't doing everything they could in the way of promotion. Whipping up a few banners isn't exactly tantamount to moving mountains.

Considering the state of our economy, shouldn't there be an emphasis on extra promotion? One of every ten people here in Charlotte is out of work, and lots of people are cutting back what they spend on luxury items. Not only should the organizers have created and uploaded more promotional material, but they should be sending it to every writer, artist, publisher, and vendor who's coming to the show, asking them to plug it on their sites. All they have is the banner on their sidebar, which I've added to the right here on the blog. It doesn't exactly grab your attention, though, does it?

Update: On second thought, I just decided to make a banner myself, using the Mike Mignola art for the incentive print. Since it's gone now, this is the one I mentioned earlier.

HeroesCon 2010: G.I. JOE Roll Call

2010-05-18T13:11:00.002-04:00

I did this last year, and I figured I would do it again for anyone planning to attend HeroesCon 2010, our local convention here in Charlotte. Some of the bigger guests include Mark Bagley, Cliff Chiang, Frank Cho, Tommy Lee Edwards, Cully Hamner, Adam Hughes, Steve Niles, Tim Sale, Ben Templesmith, Ethan Van Sciver, and Hellboy creator Mike Mignola.

Superheroes dominate the scene, but for G.I. JOE fans, here's some of the talent associated with the property over the years:

Robert Atkins - Artist on IDW's 2009 G.I. JOE reboot.
Jeremy Dale - Artist on several of the comics released in 25th Anniversary two-packs.
Marc Deering - Inker on G.I. JOE: Snake-Eyes.
Tom Feister - Cover artist on IDW's G.I. JOE Origins.
Christos Gage - Cowriter of G.I. JOE: Cobra.
S.L. Gallant - Artist on IDW's G.I. JOE and the movie prequel books.
Michael Golden - Artist behind the incredible cover of G.I. JOE Yearbook #2 (which he signed for me last year).
Merrill Hagan - Writer on IDW's G.I. JOE Origins.
Rick Ketcham - Inker on IDW's G.I. JOE.
Eric Layton - Inker in DDP run.
Chris Stevens - Artist on G.I. JOE: Master & Apprentice II.
Rod Whigham - Artist on about two dozen issues of Marvel's G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero.
David Wohl - Editor on several of the later issues in Marvel's G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero.
John 'Waki' Wycough - Inker on IDW's G.I. JOE.

Unlike last year, it doesn't look like any of the larger publishers are going to have much of a presence this time. Check out the complete HeroesCon guest list, and get ready to enjoy one of the best weekends Charlotte has to offer all year.

One Down; Nine To Go

2010-05-17T13:11:00.004-04:00

Only a few hours after publishing my take on the Top Ten '80s Action Figure Lines That Need A Comeback, Icon Heroes issued a press release announcing a line of ThunderCats "Staction" figures. Remember the Masters Of The Universe toys that had no articulation? That's the "staction" part, Static Action Figures. You can check out the announcement about the figures, vehicle replicas, and environments here.

Ask, and you shall receive, huh? Next time I'll write about how great a billion-dollar cashier's check made out to me would be.

Top Ten '80s Action Figure Lines That Need A Comeback

2010-05-14T13:11:00.005-04:00

Retro is all the rage these days, isn't it? Everything old is new again, especially if the "old" is from the '80s. New adaptations of The Karate Kid and The A-Team will hit theaters soon (they actually open on the same day), with sequels to Predator and TRON coming in July and December respectively. The remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street just opened a couple of weeks ago. MacGruber, as stupid as it looks, is a parody of an '80s television show. The Expendables, which opens in August, isn't a sequel or a remake, but it's definitely a throwback to the '80s action genre. Even Red Dawn, which was as '80s as you could get (if only all Cold War-era propaganda was as fun), is getting a remake.

And that's just what's coming out this year. Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, and The Last Starfighter sequels are in the works, and so are remakes of Footloose, Police Academy, Poltergeist (which may or may not be released this year), Private Benjamin, RoboCop, and Short Circuit. Before you ask, there's no remake of Big Trouble In Little China on the schedule. Not yet, anyway. A Conan reboot opens next year, and Columbia hired Mike Finch and Alex Litvak, writers of the aforementioned Predators, to write a new Masters Of The Universe script.

Speaking of Masters Of The Universe, Hollywood studios aren't the only ones who've been getting into the '80s nostalgia. Despite having loyal collectors for years, Hasbro's 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE line sparked the interest of many adults who hadn't paid much attention to the property since the days of playing in the backyard. They kept that going until debuting a line for G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra, the brand's first live-action movie, two years later. This came after the success they found - both at the box office and in the toy aisles - by taking Transformers to the big screen. They also worked Secret Wars comic book two-packs into their 3¾" Marvel Universe, recalling Mattel's '84-'85 Secret Wars line. Mattel themselves found more of a market than they seemed to expect when they introduced their direct-to-consumer Masters Of The Universe Classics. Their DC Universe Classics line clearly draws inspiration from Kenner's Super Powers Collection, and they just launched a new Ghostbusters line recently (with toys based on The Real Ghostbusters still to come). Playmates released a 25th Anniversary line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures last year, reproductions of the toys originally sold in 1988.

With G.I. JOE, Transformers, Super Powers, Secret Wars, Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, and He-Man out of the way, and STAR WARS having been back on the scene since '95, what are the top action figure lines from the '80s that still need to be revisited?

SilverHawks: "Partly metal, partly real..." Never one of my favorites, but that's why it comes in at number ten. I had a couple of the figures, and I watched the cartoon from time to time, but I couldn't name any of the characters off the top of my head. In fact, my favorite thing about SilverHawks is the collection of audio outtakes that showed up on the interweb back in the '90s. The Kenner figures really weren't bad, but this is more of a nostalgia pick than anything else.
Starriors: TOMY's Starriors line wasn't terribly popular, and I didn't know much about them as a kid. I only had three of the toys: Motormouth, Gouge, and (my favorite) Hotshot. I wanted Deadeye after seeing him in one of the comics, but I don't know if I ever even saw him in a store. I really liked these at first, but I lost interest pretty quickly, as G.I. JOE, STAR WARS, Transformers, and Super Powers were taking up most of my time in '84. In fact, Hotshot found himself fighting in one of those universes more often than not. The Starriors toys were very cool, though, and an updated take on them with modern articulation - and maybe some new comics - is something I would definitely collect.
Battle Beasts: What do you get when you give weapons, armor, and bloodlust to a bunch of anthropomorphized animals? Battle Beasts! Or at least that's what they were called here in the states. Originally marketed as BeastFormers by Takara in Japan, they were intended to be a spin-off of Transformers, even appearing in the Japanese version of the cartoon. Hasbro didn't see it that way (and rightfully so, if you ask me), releasing them independent of the robots in disguise here in the States. Each figure had a hologram "Battle Badge" on its chest that determined the team for which it would fight, fire, wood, or water. The hologram decals were similar to the Autobot and Decepticon decals on early Transformers, in that you had to heat them up by rubbing on them to see the image. Diamond Select Toys bought the rights to Battle Beasts last year, and they're supposed to be getting a new line. Of course, this was supposed to start in December of '09, and then March, and now it could be delayed until next year or never happen at all. That would be a shame, because Battle Beasts kicked ass.
Army Ants: While we're on the subject of anthropomorphized creatures with weapons, it's time for Army Ants. General Mc-Anther leads his blue army against the orange forces of General Patant. Another Hasbro line, some of the Ants shared names with G.I. JOE characters like Stalker, Blow Torch, Knockdown, Repeater, and Recoil, with the Ant versions of those last two actually predating their JOE counterparts. Others shared names with Transformers, including Bone Crusher and Snarl. Aside from the two generals, Hasbro surprisingly didn't go crazy with the puns. Army Ants had no screws or metal parts to rust, so leaving them out in the yard overnight was never a problem.
The Karate Kid: First of all, considering it's from 1986, my Mr. Miyagi figure looks a hell of a lot like Pat Morita. Seriously, that's a damn good sculpt for the '80s, and it's not a bad one by modern standards. In fact, most of Remco's The Karate Kid figures were solid. I'd still love to see a company like NECA or Bif Bang Pow! take a crack at the likes of Daniel LaRusso (plus the Had-His-Ass-Kicked-For-Ten-Minutes chase variant), Mr. Miyagi, Johnny Lawrence, John Kreese, Ali, Sato, and Chozen. The Karate Kid and The Karate Kid, Part II were just released on Blu-ray for the first time, and I'd be all over a new toy line based on those two movies.
Voltron: Defender of the Universe: No, I'm not talking about the stupid Vehicle Voltron thing, but Lion Force Voltron, the real Voltron. Was the fully assembled Voltron the greatest toy ever? I have no idea, because I didn't have it. This is on the list for purely selfish reasons, as I had the following Voltron toys: Keith, the Black Lion, and King Zarkon from Panosh Place. Oh, and I had some really small Voltron figure (maybe from Bandai?) that didn't even separate into the individual lions. Words cannot express what only having one Voltron lion will do to a little boy. That kind of frustration never goes away. And even though I can barely make it through an episode of the Lion Force cartoon these days, I still want the completed Voltron toy. I know Trendmasters did one in the late '90s, and I've seen the Toynami stuff at a local store recently. Nuh-uh. I want the original Voltron, I want it to split into five lions, and I want each of those lions to hold a figure in his/her uniform from the series. And sure, I could track down the original toys on eBay, but that's not exactly the point of this list, is it? Nicktoons supposedly has a new Lion Force cartoon in the works, so there's at least a slim a chance that this could happen. I can hope, can't I?
ThunderCats: Like SilverHawks, this is another one that was never among my favorites. If I was being selfish with Voltron, I'm being altruistic with this pick. I don't think I ever had any ThunderCats toys, to be perfectly honest, but I watched the cartoon more than I watched SilverHawks. I at least knew the villain's name when it came time for a trivia contest, and that was enough to win a Zartan figure from a local television station (see my Must-Haves For Collectors page for that story). ThunderCats enjoyed a measure of popularity, though, and the cat-people concept is something that could really work for modern toys. Those outfits would need to be updated and improved, but I can't deny the potential. ThunderCats and SilverHawks were both produced by Rankin/Bass and owned by Lorimar-Telepictures, and Warner Bros. acquired the rights to their library in 1989. There has been fan interest in new toys, but no company seems to have come close to working out a licensing agreement with Warner Bros. A ThunderCats movie was apparently on the table at one point, but it got scrapped. For now, it doesn't look like we'll be seeing Lion-O or Snarf any time soon. One more thing they had in common with SilverHawks? There are ThunderCats outtakes, too.
TRON: With TRON: Legacy coming to theaters in December, this is probably the most likely candidate on the list after Battle Beasts for a new toy line, at least in the near future. The original figures were kind of lousy, but I loved them, anyway. The Light Cycles were awesome, though, and I would frequently loan them out to figures from other lines. Completely translucent plastic obviously wouldn't be the way to go today, but I'm hoping to see someone get the license and do something incredible with characters from the sequel, and hopefully with a few from the original, as well. New vehicles would be a real treat, especially in-scale Recognizers.
Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future: Mattel really swung for the fences with their Captain Power toys, an ambitious approach to the crowded action figure market of the '80s. In addition to using your own imagination, the live-action television show provided an interactive experience, allowing you to "shoot" at enemies on the screen. You could also find yourself getting shot, which resulted in Captain Power being ejected from the XT-7. I loved these, I had all the VHS tapes, and I tuned in for the show every weekend. I managed to have Jonathan Power, Lt. Tank Ellis, Major Hawk Masterson, a Soaron Sky Sentry, and a Blastarr Ground Guardian in my collection. The Powerjet XT-7 was my only vehicle, but that was enough. Considering how much smaller the demand for action figures is these days, largely due to competition from things like video games, an updated Captain Power seems like a no-brainer. How difficult could it really be to develop an XT-7 that works with the Wii, for example? That would take the "interactive" aspect of the concept to new levels, since the television show and videos only allowed you to score points. You didn't get to help decide the fate of your heroes. Tie Captain Power in with the Wii, and suddenly kids who play the game can continue their adventures away from the console with the action figures. Resurrecting the characters on television is most likely out of the question, thanks to the Children's Television Act of 1990. Something like Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future would be a sure bet to get classified as a, "program-length commercial," as the original was already controversial in the '80s.
M.A.S.K.: I'm sure this is the predictable choice for any list like this, but that's because Kenner's M.A.S.K. toys were so much fun. The intent was obvious, trying to capture the attention of kids who were into G.I. JOE and Transformers, both of which were Hasbro brands. Kenner already had STAR WARS, but that line was coming to an end in 1985, the same year the Mobile Armored Strike Kommand was introduced. M.A.S.K. figures were smaller than STAR WARS or G.I. JOE, maybe half the size, which likely kept costs down on the real selling point of the line, the vehicles. You had a car that turned into a jet, a motorcycle that turned into a helicopter, a Jeep that launched a hidden boat, and a helicopter that turned into a jet. Never really got the point of that last one, but whatever. The thing to remember is that M.A.S.K. was awesome, and it's easily the best action figure line of the '80s that hasn't been revisited properly.

I say, "properly," because Hasbro took ownership of M.A.S.K. with their 1991 acquisition of Tonka, which had bought Kenner in 1987. Included in the eleventh wave of the 25th Anniversary/Modern Era G.I. JOE line was a Specialist Trakker figure, as seen above. This "new" character's real name? Matt Trakker. Check out Trakker's filecard over at YoJoe.com, and you'll see how Hasbro managed to fit the M.A.S.K. and V.E.N.O.M. teams into the G.I. JOE universe. Many fans interpreted this as a tease of possible things to come, but Hasbro reps have insisted they have no plans of launching a new M.A.S.K. line. There's always hope that those plans could change, though.

I have to give an honorable mention to M.U.S.C.L.E., but sorry, fans of Centurions, Sectaurs, and Visionaries. I know they will all have their supporters, but they never made the cut for me. I would have put Super Naturals or Manglors on the list before any of those.

Looking back, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Thinking and writing about all of this stuff is probably going to cost me a fortune.

Two More Quick Tips For Aspiring Webmasters

2010-05-11T13:11:00.000-04:00

You'll probably read this and think to yourself, "Well, that's just common sense. Everyone knows you shouldn't do those things." You'd think so, wouldn't you?

Create your own content; plagiarism is never cool. Lifting content or images from other sites without obtaining permission - or at least giving credit - is in really poor taste. I'm not talking about quoting something from another site or posting an image with a link back to the original source. That's pretty standard, and it's covered by the concept of fair use. As long as you cite, credit, and link back, you're basically sharing and providing a referral. I'm talking about trying to pass another's work off as your own. This applies to any creative endeavor, not just a collecting site. Check out the backlash against Tom Perkins, who recited others' movie reviews verbatim for his own YouTube videos. The interweb is a big place, friends, and despite evidence to the contrary on any number of sites, there are some pretty sharp people who use it. You won't get away with that sort of thing. Even if you could, why bother? What's the point of creating something if you don't want to actually do the creating?
When one of your members stabs his girlfriend to death and then kills himself, don't be surprised (or ban people!) when other participants find an "R.I.P." thread for the guy offensive. Believe it or not, there are those who aren't going to mourn a murderer, no matter how many times he's posted on a message board.

Now you know!

So You Want To Start Your Own Collecting Site

2010-05-07T17:55:00.003-04:00

Here's something I mentioned briefly on my Twitter page back in February. I only touched on it briefly (140-character limit, and all), but as the trend continues, I've decided to expand on the idea a bit without such pesky restrictions.

Here's what I wrote:

1. A lot of people are "graduating" from posting on message boards to launching their own "fan" sites these days.
2. Participating on a forum doesn't prepare you for creating a decent site. You need at least one of two things to deliver anything worthwhile.
3. The first thing is a consistent source of insider info, and that's something you don't get by having a few thousands posts on another site.
4. The second thing is the ability to write well, and most of these new "webmasters" are seriously lacking in that department.
5. No one wants to go to yet another site for commentary written by some functionally illiterate goon with nothing original to say.
6. If they did, these "webmasters" wouldn't have to keep spamming forum threads with links to their new sites.

Before I continue, I'm not suggesting that anyone look to my site for an example of how to do things. This is my personal site, dedicated to my own collection. Sure, I have some tips and tricks for other collectors, and I write about topical issues on this blog from time to time, but this isn't a news or review site. Its primary function is to serve as a place where I can showcase my collection online, even though the galleries are hopelessly outdated. But because this is just my personal site, I can take my sweet time with updates, as it's more for me than for any kind of audience. In fact, that's one of the reasons why I've avoided getting heavily involved with that kind of site, because my free time is often too limited to devote the necessary attention to such an endeavor. I sincerely appreciate those who do so much to provide the rest of us with fresh information, and I'm sure you do, too. It takes a hell of a commitment to do that consistently.

I have, however, contributed to "fan" and "news" sites in different capacities. I've helped with news updates, redesigned established sites, and built sites from scratch. I've also written content for a few sites, going back almost a decade. In addition to all that hobby stuff, I've designed and written copy for literally hundreds of sites professionally. I wouldn't include all of them in a portfolio, or anything, but they were what I was paid to do. My point is that I know what makes for a quality web site, and I know all too well what does not.

Action figure web sites are a dime a dozen. Where there were relatively few of them ten years ago, the interweb is littered with them now. Plenty of decent ones attract only modest traffic, but you've decided this series of tubes needs another one.

It needs your site.

You've been posting on toy forums for several years now, shared photos of your collection, and interacted with webmasters and other collectors. Now you want to move on from just being a message board member to having your own playground. But why? What are you going to bring to the table? Do you believe you can do it better than those who are already covering this stuff? What can you offer that will make me want to visit your site?

If you haven't thought that far ahead, these are some things you'll need to get started.

Insider info: Everything else on the list is secondary if you can cover this one. Are you tight with employees who work for the big manufacturers, people who can and (more importantly) will share knowledge and images with you? You know, the kind of stuff that no other sites have gotten their hands on yet? The most likely answer to this question is no. The action figure collecting hobby, right down to the smallest niche, already has more Drudge-style aggregate sites than it needs. Besides, the forums themselves are sufficient for that sort of thing. If you're just repeating news stories you got from other sources, that's not really news. It's redundancy. That's not to say you should never post something as "news" if another site got to it first, but if that's all you're doing, you're just taking up cyberspace.
Competent writing: This is where so many wannabes fail. Remember #1? If you don't have the connections necessary to make that a reality, this is crucial. I can do my best to ignore the ramblings of the functionally illiterate if they provide me with images and intel that no one else has. If your site is just like several others, though, forget about it. If you write poorly, I won't be checking back to see what you have to say, and you might be surprised by just how many people feel the same way. I'm not saying you have to be Ralph Ellison; you don't even have to be some kind of grammar Nazi. You do, however, need to be capable of writing coherent prose that is not replete with thoughtless errors one might expect from a third-grader. Do you know how to properly use were, wear, and where? What about their, they're, and there? It's and its? If you don't, you have no business publishing your words on the internet. That doesn't mean you can't have a site, but if you want to have one that's up to snuff, you damn well better partner up with a good writer (or several).

In addition to having adequate command of the language, you should possess the ability to craft what you have to say into an interesting and entertaining read. You might take fantastic photos, but images aren't the sole ingredient responsible for making any of the most popular action figure review sites a hit with collectors. The ability of the reviewers to capture visitors' attention with their words is just as important. If you produce several paragraphs of flat, monotonous text, your readers won't be your readers for long.
Photoshop skills: There are plenty of software packages available today that have made a grasp of HTML optional for potential webmasters, but that software won't design your logos and banners. This element of starting a web site really speaks for itself. If your site comes out looking like it was designed in the '90s, check out some online tutorials or find someone who will be willing to help you.
A decent camera: If you're going to showcase pictures of toys, nothing will send people scrambling for their back button faster than grainy, out-of-focus photos. Make sure your camera has a macro setting, and invest a few bucks into lights that won't result in overly yellow pictures.
Unique content: We're back to a question I asked earlier: What are you going to bring to the table? What makes your site different than all the others? What are you doing or saying that others aren't? The idea needs to come before the execution. All the pretty design and slick photography in the world won't do you a damn bit of good if you're not doing something to stand out from the crowd. Plenty of web sites already post news in the form of press releases, feature reviews of recently released toys, and offer commentary on products and the hobby in general. Come up with a plan to distinguish your new site from everyone who came before you. One of the ways to accomplish this was covered in the second part of this list. If you're reviewing the same figure as someone on another site, but you can write a better, more entertaining piece on it, that's a start. And if you're an incredibly talented customizer like Casimir, then you don't need to mess around with news or reviews, because you already have something special.
An actual site before you start promoting it: If you link me to an, "under construction," page or one of those Go Daddy pages you get when you first register a domain name, good luck ever getting me back to the site.
SEO: Answer these two questions. First, do you want to get any organic traffic to your site? And by organic traffic, I mean people finding and arriving at your site in the course of their normal browsing activities, not through paid links (which you won't spend money to use, anyway). Yes? Okay, here's your second question. Do you know what search engine optimization is and how to implement it? If you don't, you need to learn. A great site will languish in obscurity if no one can find it. Some people will swear up and down that SEO is, "cheating," but that's only because they don't know how to do it. I'm not saying you need to make your site all spammy, but you should definitely get familiar with linking structures and how to use anchor text to your advantage. The basics, which are all you'll need for something like this, aren't that difficult. I did it professionally for two years without any formal training. You don't need to enroll in a class, or anything. Just do some research on the web.
Visitors over sponsors: It's one of the of the worst-kept secrets about popular toy sites, that webmasters, reviewers, and sometimes staff members get free products from online retailers who advertise on the site. Some of them get free merchandise straight from manufacturers, as well. Maybe that's why you're hoping your new site will take off, but if that's the case, you're going into it for all the wrong reasons. If that's your sole motivation, you're not likely to have much success, either.

This advice really only applies if "community" is going to be part of your site, and it comes down to one simple rule: Don't be a dick. If you have active forums or comment sections for your posts, that's your "community." Most sites get more traffic from people who don't participate in online discussions than from people who will, but how you treat members of your "community" will make an impression on both sets of visitors. If you get to the point where an online retailer wants to advertise on your site, don't look at that as an obligation to censor anyone who criticizes the business. I'm obviously not talking about blatant trolling, but if someone has what could be construed as a legitimate complaint about a sponsor, the price for silencing that will be the trust of your readers. If a sponsor leaves, others can take its place. If your readers bail on you, I guarantee there won't be any sponsors.

There's certainly more to creating and maintaining a successful collecting site than what I've covered here, but these are areas where I see the most mistakes. Much of the negativity directed at various sites could have been avoided if the people behind them gave consideration to these points before getting started. If you do that, you'll at least have a head start.

I nearly beat that whole no-character-limit thing to death, didn't I?

Cobra S.A.W.-Viper, 25th Anniversary Style

2010-05-06T13:11:00.003-04:00

Missing from all the army builders in the 25th Anniversary/Modern Era G.I. JOE line is the S.A.W.-Viper. These guys are fairly infamous in the minds of comic fans, as one of them executed (or, "popped caps on," if you remember the story) Doc, Crankcase, Heavy Metal, and Thunder in issue #109 of G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero. Both heroes and villains had died in the series, but this was the first time we'd seen a massacre of characters who were actually part of the toy line. Even though it was the result of Tomax and Xamot misunderstanding an order from Cobra Commander, the S.A.W.-Viper was all too eager to accept the assignment.

Having picked up quite a few DVD Battles sets on clearance from discount retailers, I saw the potential in one of the extra Roadblock figures I had. I went with a mix of the original v1 figure and the v3 figure for the color scheme, ordered some custom accessories, and broke out the paint. Here's the end result, my 25th-style Cobra S.A.W.-Viper. If you click the photo for the larger version, you'll get an idea of just how limited I am when it comes to skills with a brush. It looks better in person than it does all blown up on a monitor, though, so I'm happy with it.

Figure: DVD Battles 2 ("The Revenge Of Cobra") Roadblock (v18)

Webgear and pistol: G.I. JOE Trooper

Helmet: Serpent Heavy Gunner Helmet Purple from Broken Arrow Toys

Weapon: M249 SAW from Marauder "Gun-Runners"

Cobra S.A.W.-Viper, 25th Anniversary Style

Just Deserts

2010-05-05T21:48:00.003-04:00

Via Ron Marz on his Twitter page, htmlcomics is officially toast. Not only is the site gone, but the site's owner might be gone, too. Here's the scoop from CBR. Be sure to read this bit, as well.

I'm not one to wish an FBI raid on anyone, but when you rip people off, that's what you have coming to you. Not only is he a thief, but he's also a creepy bastard. He talked a big game about wanting to battle lawyers, and now we'll see how long it takes for him to tuck his tail between his legs and beg for leniency.

Get Ready For G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero #155½

2010-04-30T08:01:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago when discussing Hasbro's position on the DDP G.I. JOE comics, IDW Publishing gives us G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero #155½ for Free Comic Book Day tomorrow. Larry Hama returns to the continuity he created fifteen years after the book ended, teaming up with artist Agustin Padilla. You can check out a six-page preview of the book over on Newsarama. It will lead to a new ongoing series, starting with issue #156.

While I'm still not thrilled about the DDP stories being tossed to the side, I'm definitely psyched about the chance to read new Larry Hama stories rooted in the old continuity. I like IDW's G.I. JOE Origins, especially the killer covers by Tom Feister, but I stopped buying the main title after six or seven issues. While Hama managed to make his part of the reboot fun, Chuck Dixon was on a mission to put me to sleep, and he was hellbent on completing that objective. I wasn't completely put off by the idea of a reboot, but the execution was severely lacking in entertainment value. I've enjoyed some of Dixon's Bat-work in the past (some, but certainly not all), but he's never been anything special. If anything, he's a third-tier writer, but he's managed to come up with a good story here and there. When it comes to writing G.I. JOE, though, he was never right for the job. It's not that his writing is bad; it's just utterly uninteresting. Andy Schmidt says it's, "geared more towards adults," than the DDP books were, but I beg to differ. Insomniacs are adults who should consider investing in the TPB collections of IDW's G.I. JOE issues, but if IDW ever wants me to start buying their main title again, the best place to start would be replacing Chuck Dixon yesterday.

But enough about the guy who isn't right for the job, because the guy who is right for it returns tomorrow. Here's an interview with Mr. Hama on CBR to whet your appetite. Welcome back, Larry!

Why Not Call It, "The Pursuit Of Cobra"?

2010-04-26T17:55:00.001-04:00

So if the rumors about the title of a new G.I. JOE cartoon (here and here) are accurate, and the series is going to be called G.I. JOE: Renegades, I have to question the decision. Hasbro is debuting a new line called The Pursuit Of Cobra this fall, and this is the company who didn't want to release two figures named Rip Cord who looked completely different. That's why the classic Rip Cord was given the code name Spc. Altitude in the Attack on Cobra Island seven-pack last year. Will The Pursuit Of Cobra feature characters specific to the new animation? There's no sign of that in what we've seen of the first two waves. Will they put a Renegades logo at the top of the packaging for characters from the new show? Does Hasbro plan to launch two competing lines? That really wouldn't make much sense, given the current state of the economy and the fact that retailers will still need to move The Rise Of Cobra toys to make room for even one new line. Are there even any plans for toys specific to the cartoon? And if not, what's the point of it?

Hasbro registered the domain name gijoerenegades.com on April 7 of this year, which makes these rumors seem all the more valid. Some light will probably be shed on this subject later this week at the G.I. JOE Collectors' Convention, but we still have a few days to speculate.

G.I. JOE Doesn't Leave Anyone Behind, Hasbro

2010-04-17T10:31:00.008-04:00

Back at the beginning of the year, Hasbro responded to a Q&A inquiry about the Devil's Due Publishing books over on JoeReloaded.com. They provided a two-part answer, but I want to focus on the second portion.

Quote:

Q: Does Hasbro have an official stance on GI Joe comic original continuity? If so, what is it? Does Hasbro view the Devil's Due published material a continuation of the Marvel published work?

A: b) We have no official stance on the Devil’s Due material. It can be viewed as a continuation of the 80's continuity, or as an alternate universe that was inspired by the 80's continuity. Fans can read it according to their personal preference, but we are currently taking the brand in a direction that does not take the Devil's Due story into account.

Hasbro's statement bothered me back when I first read it, but I've been giving it more thought recently while reading some of the DDP material again. I'll be the first to admit that those books had more than their share of flaws at times, especially in the editing department. Looking at the whole of their publication history with the license, though, they produced a considerable amount of quality storytelling. The America's Elite title in particular really got the job done. More importantly, however, the DDP run introduced some fantastic characters while they had the license. If Hasbro wants to abandon the continuity, that's understandable, especially now that Larry Hama is picking up where Marvel #155 left off for IDW. Ignoring those characters would be a huge mistake, though.

Let's think about some of those characters for a moment.

Firewall: A young hacker with a criminal record, she went from being a wet-behind-the-ears recruit who was simply trying to atone for her past to a crucial member of the G.I. JOE team. She had to grow up quickly when her friend (Daemon) and mentor (Mainframe) were KIA.

Kamakura: Snake-Eyes' apprentice and the son of Wade Collins, a former "Fred" in Cobra's Crimson guard who served with Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Stalker.

Mayday: Sergeant Paige Adams didn't get a lot of panel time in the comics, but new female characters are always a welcome addition to the world of G.I. JOE, and this one was especially intriguing due to her skills with a firearm.

Alexander McCullen: Illegitimate son of Destro who assumed his father's role twice.

Lilian Osbourne: Mistress Armada, Alexander McCullen's lover and military commander whose loyalties shifted back and forth from Destro to Cobra Commander.

General Philip Rey: A U.S. military commander who briefly led the G.I. JOE team and later the Phoenix Guard, he was eventually revealed to be a clone from Dr. Mindbender's Serpentor experiments.

Wraith: Charles Halifax, a deadly mercenary with an even more deadly stealth armor suit. While in Destro's employ, he betrayed the Baroness and delivered her to the Jugglers.

Zanya: Zartan's daughter and likely heir to the Dreadnok throne, she's my favorite of all the DDP creations.

Charles Halifax saw his first action figure in 2008, toward the end of the 25th Anniverary/Modern Era line, and there was even a variant Wraith figure. Kamakura was released as an off-screen character in The Rise Of Cobra line. The rest of the characters on this list are still waiting for their first plastic counterparts. While I'm hoping Hasbro gets around to classics like Jinx, Zandar, Zarana, Road Pig, Big Boa, Low-Light, Budo, Lifeline, Iceberg, Airtight, Night-Vipers, and Techno-Vipers, each of these characters from the pages of DDP titles would make for excellent additions to the line. In fact, they're all practically begging to be included.

There's one more thing that shouldn't be forgotten about those comics. In addition to the characters created in the DDP offices, they also did something I didn't believe anyone could ever do: They made Duke an interesting character that I actually looked forward to seeing in the stories. That alone is worthy of tremendous praise, so don't completely disregard those books, Hasbro. Let the stories in the comics go where they will, but keep DDP in mind for future character selection.

Updated October 13, 2011: After seeing these photos, all praise be to Hasbro.

You Can't Do That On The Interweb

2010-04-08T13:11:00.000-04:00

There's been plenty of online chatter over the last couple of months about htmlcomics, a site that hosts thousands of scanned comic books. The debate is whether or not the content constitutes copyright infringement, and the owner of the site has participated in several of the discussions across the interweb. While coming across as both a weirdo and an asshole, he insists that if libraries don't violate copyright law, then neither does his site. Some people have chosen to accept this argument. Others reject it, but read the comics on the site, anyway. I'm in the third camp. Not only will I not be reading comics he hosts, but I have difficulty believing anyone could be so ignorant about what he's doing.

He claims that the code on his site is written to prevent downloading and saving. That's a crock. The average surfer who doesn't know how to do anything more than right-click and "save as" may not have any luck, but the images can still be saved, and it doesn't take long for more savvy internet users to get past his silly trick (and no, I won't be sharing the how, just as I won't link directly to the site). The guy is a bit too impressed with the "code" he mistakenly believes protects his activity from being classified as distribution. It doesn't matter if the content can't easily be saved, because the act of delivering it to other computers electronically, which is what happens when people view pages on a web site, is by definition distribution.

The meat of his position, however, is The Library Argument. According to him, they make books available for readers, so what he's doing is no different. The Library Argument is patently false, and it doesn't hold water for two very obvious reasons that he failed to consider.

First of all, public libraries are not free. They're "public" because the public pays for them with tax dollars. It's not charity when you go to your local library and check out a book; you pay for that right when you pay local taxes. No public service is free, not libraries, recreational centers, police or fire departments, trash collection, or road construction. The same goes for private school libraries. Tuition helps to fund them, so again, nothing is free. If a collective wanted to build a community comic collection from which they could all read books, and they did it by actually buying the titles they wanted to include, that would work under The Library Argument. This doesn't, and it's not even close.

Secondly, books in libraries are either purchased from publishers or donated, and then the library lends out those books. They do not make copies, digital or otherwise, so they can offer them to more readers. They loan out only books, music, and movies that have been obtained legally. There's nothing illegal about scanning your comics for your own purposes (the clown behind this site even tries to compare what he's doing to backing up ones own collection), but making an archive of a collection freely available to the public is an unequivocal example of copyright infringement. There's no crime in loaning the most recent trade paperback you bought to a pal, but if you made color copies of every page and gave them away, you have infringed on the publisher's rights. When you cheat the publisher, you cheat the creators whose work you claim to enjoy. That's a dick move, period.

The owner of this site claims to have no interest in comic books, and maybe that makes it easier in his mind to justify theft. On the other hand, he's a self-described database developer, so I have to wonder how he'd feel if someone stole his code without compensating him for the work he put into it. You'd think someone in that sort of profession might have a bit more respect for the concept of intellectual property, but that's apparently not the case with this guy.

There's no debate to be had about The Library Argument. It's bogus, and glaringly so. The only thing left to debate is whether or not it's okay to visit the site and take advantage of what he's providing. I've seen the same, tired excuses we always see when this sort of topic arises. "I wouldn't buy it, anyway." If you wouldn't buy it, anyway, then why are you so determined to read it for free? "I'm broke, so I can't afford to pay for comics." Welcome to The University Of Real Life. We have your course schedule ready, starting with Tough Shit 101. I'd like to have lots of things I can't afford. Hell, I'd love to run out and buy one of these, one of these, and one of these right now. The fact that I'm not sitting on thousands of dollars to throw around for luxury items doesn't make it acceptable for me to just help myself to whatever I want. The sense of entitlement some people have can be overwhelming at times.

And yes, the notion that comic book publishers should make available titles that are no longer in print is a legitimate one. If you're not printing it, and you have no intention of printing it in the foreseeable future, you won't be losing any money by hosting digital versions on your web sites. If anything, you'll be providing a valuable service that your fans will appreciate. You might even introduce them to a writer or artist whose work is currently for sale and generate some revenue from the endeavor. So yeah, I understand where people are coming from on this aspect of the debate, but what htmlcomics and people using torrent sites are doing goes so far beyond that.

It all comes down to one very basic idea: If you like the work, then don't be a dick to the creators whose efforts made that enjoyment possible for you.

Muppet Madness Strikes This March

2010-03-16T22:00:00.002-04:00

The great people behind The MuppetCast and ToughPigs are hosting a March Madness-style tournament with a Muppet twist. Beginning with sixteen match-ups, you can vote to help determine which character will advance in each round of the bracket. Head over to check out The Muppet Madness Tournament! and help your favorite Muppet cut down the net!

Luke Skywalker Wasn't Much Of A Jedi

2010-03-01T02:22:00.011-05:00

Today marks the tenth anniversary of ArtoosNews.com. While it was around, R2N was my favorite STAR WARS collecting site, but it only lasted a few years (that's okay, though, because we have YodasNews.com now). In honor of its anniversary, here's a (slightly edited) copy of a post I authored on the site's forum back in 2002. Hope you're doing well, Travis!

"Luke's just not a farmer, Owen. He has too much of his father in him." - Beru Lars

Did he? Did he really have too much of his father in him? His father was an arrogant Jedi apprentice, and if anything, he was too confident in his abilities. The closest Luke ever came to being cocky, despite Han Solo's comments in A New Hope, was when he ran off to face Vader before completing his training. That was more stupidity than anything else. It was always, "I can't do this. I can't do that. It's impossible." Anakin seemed completely different. You never saw Luke jumping out of a speeder thousands of feet in the air! Anakin went out and did his thing. The kid was like nine years old, flying starfighters in space battles, podracing, and even building his own racer. He was a slave, but he kept a positive attitude. Luke is like twenty years old, and he thinks he has it bad working on his uncle's farm.

"But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters." - Luke Skywalker

You ever want to just smack someone? Why didn't Owen just backhand Luke and put him in his place? Ungrateful little desert hick, he should have been thankful that this farmer, to whom he wasn't even really related, had taken him into his home. But no, not Luke. He has to complain about everything. People say that Jar Jar is annoying, but Jar Jar can't touch Luke.

"I can't get involved. I've got work to do." - Luke Skywalker

The film could have easily been titled Star Whines with this guy. What did Obi-Wan even see in him? How did he peg this kid for Jedi material? After seeing cats like Mace Windu in action, not to mention young Obi-Wan and a younger Yoda, exactly what did he think this kid was capable of becoming? He never accomplished anything remotely close to what we have seen the Jedi do in the prequels. Leia seemed like a much better candidate. She was strong, independent, and fearless. Luke was a whiny, obnoxious pain in the ass.

"I warn you not to underestimate my powers." - Luke Skywalker

What powers? When Darth Maul is backing away from Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, he uses the Force to lift some crate and smash it into the control panel to open a door. What does Luke do when Jabba drops him into the Rancor pit? He throws a skull at the control panel. Granted, it was a throw that would have made Dan Marino proud, but come on, man. Powers? Give me a break. It was just a nice toss.

"You want the impossible." - Luke Skywalker

After all the things to which Luke had been witness...

Ben teaching him the ways of the Force, using the Force to control the minds of the Stormtroopers, and guiding Luke when he himself used the Force to drop a bomb right up the gut of the first Death Star, all without the aid of a targeting computer... Why was lifting an X-Wing so impossible? You never see Anakin display that attitude. Anakin is the exact opposite, which is why I liked him better. Luke was always waiting to get kicked around, never really getting the whole Jedi thing down. Anakin would jump right into the thick of the shit without giving it a second thought. The only times you really see him hesitate are 1) when he's trying to decide if he's going to side with Palpatine or the Jedi and 2) when he has to slice up a bunch of little kids.

"With the blast shield down I can't even see. How am I supposed to fight?" - Luke Skywalker

Can you see Obi-Wan acting that way during his training? Qui-Gon? Mace? I can't even see Anakin acting like that. He grew up being able to, "see things before they happen," remember? He would have been all about fighting the remote without his vision. What about the Bear Clan? You think those little kids would have whined to Yoda? No way. They would have done what they were told. Luke just complained. All the time.

"Luke's crazy. He can't even take care of himself, much less rescue anybody." - Han Solo

Good thing Han Solo was around to take care of Luke, seeing as how the little punk was always trying to get himself killed. Being tracked down by Vader's ship is one thing, because we all know that Vader is an excellent pilot. In The Empire Strikes Back, however, Luke almost gets taken out by the STAR WARS equivalent of a polar bear. Luke can't use the Force to sense this big Wampa walking up behind him? Anakin and Obi-Wan were in deep conversation when they both sensed the little assassin slugs in the next room. Not only was Luke a punk, but he wasn't too sharp, either. So this Wampa grabs him and freezes him to the roof of his cave. Luke looks as if he is going to have an aneurysm just using the Force to grab his lightsaber. What a joke... He dies if Han doesn't show up to save him.

"An elegant weapon for a more civilized time. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire." - Obi-Wan Kenobi

Look at the way the Jedi conduct themselves in the Old Republic. Even Anakin, who began life as a slave and eventually becomes Darth Vader, is a sophisticated, talented young gentleman. Luke never displayed any of those qualities, but I was happy for Luke when he started to beat Vader down in Return Of The Jedi. He was winning, and he could have finished him, had he chosen to do so. But then the Emperor put Luke in his proper place: lying on his back, screaming like a bitch. Luke is a goner at this point, but once again, someone comes along to save this pathetic, sorry excuse for a Jedi. He just sliced off Vader's hand, so for all he knows, the Dark Lord of the Sith wants to watch him fry. But Anakin Skywalker found something he had lost, something he didn't even know still existed: his humanity. He sacrifices himself to save his son, and Luke Skywalker Forrest Gumps his way through another adventure.

Luke Skywalker: "So, what do you think of her, Han?"
Han Solo: "I'm tryin' not to, kid."
Luke Skywalker: "Good."
Han Solo: "Still, she's gotta lot of spirit. I don't know, whaddya think? You think a princess and a guy like me--"
Luke Skywalker: "No."

What the hell? How Force-sensitive could Luke have been? He was falling for his sister! He kissed his sister! If that doesn't leave a foul taste in your mouth, I don't know what will. All the whining, all the shortcomings, all the less-than-impressive Jedi skills, it could all be forgiven. You just don't make out with your sister, though.

No, Luke wasn't much of a Jedi. I know a lot of people don't much care for the prequels, but personally, I'm happy that George Lucas gave us a taste of what Jedi were supposed to be. I'm glad we got a sample of what Obi-Wan was talking about on Tatooine, when he was telling Luke about the Old Republic and the Jedi Knights protecting the galaxy. And I'm glad that Luke didn't have to be in those films.

Really, Hasbro? Really?

2010-02-10T13:11:00.002-05:00

C'mon, Hasbro. Get the fuck outta here with that shit, son.

"Best Picture" Doesn't Mean A Lot These Days

2010-02-02T08:17:00.002-05:00

Not when something as mediocre as District 9 can get nominated for it, anyway. If the Academy was going to expand the category to ten nominations, one might think that would open the door for more quality films to be included. One would be incorrect, but one might think it. No, all it meant was that a movie as forgettable as District 9 makes the cut. Here are the nominations:

Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

Can you name ten movies from 2009 that were better than District 9, but didn't get nominated? I can.

Zombieland
Watchmen
Terminator: Salvation
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Taken
Star Trek
Public Enemies
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The Hangover
G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra

I can think of at least five movies from 2009 that I haven't even seen yet, but I'd wager good money on all of them being better than District 9.

Where the Wild Things Are
State of Play
Sherlock Holmes
The Men Who Stare at Goats
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

And keep in mind that Smurfs 3D has a nomination this year, but The Dark Knight was not nominated last year. Are the members voting to nominate the movies or the heavy-handed metaphors? Seriously, what are they watching?

Update from February 13, 2010: Add I Love You, Man to the list of 2009's movies that were better than District 9.

Snow Day

2010-01-30T21:01:00.003-05:00

The snow we got last night and this morning provided me with an occasion to open the Ice Viper figure I packed away after buying it four or five months ago. I took it and a H.I.S.S. out front for some photos this morning:

Not everyone had as much fun in the snow as we did. In fact, someone seems to have lost something rather important.

Darby had plenty of fun, though. She went out to play in the yard a few times, and we took a walk around the neighborhood so she could run around several other yards, too.

Here she is patrolling the backyard and checking out the snow.

You Are Easily Entertained

2010-01-29T13:11:00.002-05:00

I could be talking about lots of people right now, from the millions who watch American Idol (or any other "reality" show) every week to the people who keep prattling on about how great Avatar is. I could be talking about the few zhlobs who are still willing to admit they loved The Matrix, or I could be referring to the masochists who keep buying tickets to Brett Ratner and Roland Emmerich movies. They're not the subject of this post, though. I'm talking to you today, the genre animation fan.

Yes, you. The fan who settled for The Batman after nearly a decade-and-a-half of Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, The New Batman Adventures, Batman Beyond, Justice League, and Justice League Unlimited. Now you're on the internet trying to convince people that Batman: The Brave And The Bold is a quality series. Deep down, I think you really know better. Even though you say it's a "fun" show, I think you realize how bad it is, even if you won't admit it (not even to yourself).

And yes, I'm also talking to you, the Transformers Animated fan. I guess you were just desperate for anything that even resembled the Robots In Disguise you remember from the '80s after that disaster of a "film" Michael Bay delivered. Look, I get it. I've been there before. I've known the abject disappointment that comes with being a huge fan of a particular property that gets butchered by some hack with studio backing. Tim Burton's Batman, anyone? It doesn't mean you have to embrace something that happens to not suck quite as hard and pretend like it has any real merit. You hear any Detroit Lions fans talking about how great the team was in 2009 because they didn't lose every game? No, you don't. That's because even Lions fans aren't as self-deceiving as you.

And yes, I'm talking to you most of all, G.I. JOE: Resolute fans. Talk about drinking the proverbial fucking Kool-Aid. A preview was shown in San Diego, and the clip included some actual violence. You were so excited! It was announced that this new web series would be a more grown-up JOE, and you could barely keep your panties dry. Warren Ellis was announced as the writer, and there was much rejoicing. And then Resolute was released, bit by bit, on the internet before airing in its entirety on [adult swim], and...

It was boring. It was weak. It was tired, stale, and unoriginal. It was nothing special. In fact, it was pretty goddamn bad. But you just couldn't admit it. Why? Are you living in denial? No, you're just easily entertained. And that's okay. Lots of people enjoy subpar entertainment, but you haven't even figured out that you're one of them. In fact, you go out of your way to convince yourself (and everyone who will pay attention to you) that you're not. That is where you're in denial. You keep going on and on about how "great" this stuff is, the amazing "quality" of the writing (which was absolutely the worst of Ellis' career), and how it was, "stunning," "groundbreaking," "brilliant," and several other adjectives (these were pulled from actual comments across various sites) that have no business being associated with this piece of shit.

Because that's exactly what it was, a piece of shit, at least in terms of storytelling. And there's a trend here, one that reaches deeper than simply cartoons based on popular characters from toy lines and comic books. That trend is Sam Register. I knew he operated under the assumption that animation has to be dumbed down for the lowest common denominator in order to appeal to children, but I didn't know he felt the same way about adults until I saw Resolute. Rather than reject this notion when your intelligence was insulted with this garbage, however, you did those of us who appreciate top-notch fiction with our animation a tremendous disservice by not only accepting it, but actually lavishing praise on this halfhearted effort.

So not only are you easily entertained, but you're also bad for the medium, and that's the real shame of the matter.

Changes To eBay Fees Coming This Spring

2010-01-26T17:55:00.000-05:00

Read the announcement here. Personally, I like the new fee structure for auction-style listings. I already start most of mine at 99¢, and the .25% Final Value Fee increase for items that sell for $25 or less is a good trade-off, because I'll only have to pay it if the item sells. I'm sure I'll feel differently when I sell items that end over the $25 mark, but what are you going to do? No other site offers you the exposure eBay does.

That won't stop the usual chorus of bitching and whining that accompanies every change to eBay policy ever, though. People on OAI web sites are already claiming they'll take their ball and go home. Rather than waste time repeating myself, I'll just refer you to what I said back in August of 2008.

Via @terrordrome

Zartan: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Bonus

2010-01-23T10:10:00.002-05:00

While I enjoyed G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra more than a lot of fans, there were definitely things I believe should have been handled differently. The movie was not without its flaws, and there were certainly shortcomings in the way the source material was interpreted, but I'm likely in the minority in believing they got more right than wrong. Having said that, one aspect of the film I thoroughly enjoyed was Arnold Vosloo's portrayal of Zartan. I felt like they nailed this character from top to bottom. Sure, I would have loved to see him in his cowl, but that wasn't nearly as important to me as his characterization, which I felt came very close to perfect. My only problem was that Hasbro neglected to release an undisguised figure in their movie line, choosing instead to release two versions in G.I. JOE MP uniforms.

I passed on the single-carded release over and over after the launch of the line, and only purchased one when I decided to use the body for my Law & Order. Not only was I unenthusiastic about the disguised figure, but I wasn't fond of the hair color. The Toys R Us Trooper five-pack that was released late last year, however, corrected that second problem with darker hair, so I decided to fill in the gap left by Hasbro.

This figure is simply the Zartan head from Toys R Us G.I. JOE five-pack on the body of the Duke figure (sans the leg harness) from the same retailer's Cobra five-pack (25th Anniversary Snake-Eyes torso, 25th Gung-Ho legs, and Modern Era Airborne arms), armed with the M.A.R.S. Industries Officer's knife from the same Cobra five-pack.

Zartan: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Bonus

Night Stalkers: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Part V

2010-01-22T13:11:00.005-05:00

If there's one thing the 25th Anniversary and Modern Era G.I. JOE lines needed, aside from specific characters on my personal list of wants, it's more females. The original five-packs released in 2007 included Scarlett and the Baroness. Since then, Hasbro has released only one additional female character, Lady Jaye, followed by two more versions of Scarlett, three more Baroness figures, and two more Lady Jaye figures. Cover Girl, Jinx, and Zarana are still waiting for their turns.

With the launch of The Rise Of Cobra line, Cover Girl finally got some love, but this was based on the likeness of Karolina Kurkova, not the Courtney Krieger we all remember from 1983. It also brought the introduction of a brand new character, Agent Helix, which was definitely a welcome addition. I'm always down for new female characters in the property. Reusing her head sculpt, Hasbro released a 2009 version of Dialtone. This wasn't the Jack Morelli Dial-Tone from '86, but Jill Morelli, a female comm specialist using a nearly identical code name. The movie line also included two versions each of Rachel Nichols' Scarlett and Sienna Miller's Baroness.

Just like Marlon Wayans and Saïd Taghmaoui became my unmasked Iron Grenadiers, I had something other than Scarlett and the Baroness in mind for these movie figures. With no female army builders available for Cobra, and no hint of any being part of Hasbro's plans for the future, these releases presented an opportunity. I was a big fan of one element of the 2007 G.I. JOE Convention exclusive set, so I set out to create a 25th/Modern-style update to the concept.

I already had a Scarlett head from the body I used to create my ROC/DDP-style Jinx, and I bought the "Paris Pursuit" Baroness figure with the intention of using her for something other than Baroness. I wasn't sure exactly what I would do with her at the time, but it was a great figure, so I was certain to come up with something. After picking up the Toys R Us five-pack with Dialtone, I decided to grab two more "Paris Pursuit" Baroness figures and a Cover Girl. With a brunette, a blonde, and a redhead, I now had all the necessary ingredients for a set of Night Stalkers.

Looking at the different ways I've incorporated The Rise Of Cobra toys into my 25th collection, this group is easily my favorite. Maybe it's a good thing for me that Hasbro hasn't produced any female army builders in Cobra uniforms, because I might spend myself into the poorhouse if they did. I had already bought the 2009 G.I. JOE five-pack (with Snake-Eyes, Flint, Lady Jaye, Shipwreck, and Hawk) to create my Female Viper Officer, and I would have painted several more if that version of Lady Jaye had seen a single-carded release. For now, though, the Night Stalkers will serve under the Baroness and bring a little diversity to the workplace on Cobra Island.

The Brunette Night Stalker is simply the "Paris Pursuit" Baroness body with a Dialtone head (originally used for Agent Helix), armed with two of Baroness' guns.

The Redhead Night Stalker uses the head from the "Desert Ambush" Scarlett, and she is armed with one of Baroness' guns.

The Blonde Night Stalker has Cover Girl's head and silver pistols. Cover Girl's head sits too low on the neck if you push it all the way down, but it's very easy to position it for a proper look, and it stays in place perfectly. For whatever reason, this head sculpt looks much better to me on this body than it did with the ROC JOE uniform. Maybe it's her facial expression; perhaps it's more fitting for a Cobra operative.

I'll post a bonus installment tomorrow with something different, a way to add something to your movie collection that Hasbro neglected to release.

Night Stalkers: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Part V

Unmasked Grenadiers: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Part IV

2010-01-21T13:11:00.001-05:00

While I don't mind admitting that I enjoyed the movie interpretations of the characters, the Marlon Wayans Rip Cord and Saïd Taghmaoui Breaker had no place in my display of classic characters. With Hasbro's habit of reusing head sculpts in the 25th Anniversary and Modern lines, though, the best thing about actor likenesses was the introduction of more unique heads that I could use with my 25th figures (starring Channing Tatum as "Cobra Science Officer"). I bought The Rise Of Cobra Breaker and Rip Cord figures back in July for just this reason, although I did buy another Rip Cord for my movie display after seeing it at the theater. With these new heads, I decided to unmask Destro's personal troops, the Iron Grenadiers.

I wanted to include the IGs in my display, but without the helmets, to serve as a personal security team for Destro. The two on the right use the Flash and comic two-pack Hawk heads from the Firefly vs. G.I. JOE Troopers five pack; the two on the left use the ROC Breaker and Rip Cord heads.

This is my Iron Grenadier Officer, using the figure and stand from the Toys R Us three-pack, and carrying the M.A.R.S. case from the "Attack On The G.I. JOE PIT" Baroness figure.

Here's the Saïd Taghmaoui Iron Grenadier, using the figure from the comic book two-pack. I knew I had to do something about those red pistols, so after taking these photos, all four IGs have been equipped with MAC-10s from Marauder Gun-Runners.

Even though they weren't going to replace the '80s versions of Rip Cord and Breaker, their likenesses are still getting put to good use in my collection. We'll take a look at the female characters of the line tomorrow.

Unmasked Grenadiers: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Part IV

Law & Order: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Part III

2010-01-20T13:11:00.003-05:00

One The Rise Of Cobra update to an off-screen character that I really liked was the release of Law & Order in the Toys R Us five-pack. The only problem, though, was that he was in a desert-specific uniform. I know the desert troops appeal to some people, but I have no interest in them at all. That's always been the case, too. I never even cared for Dusty as a kid. I was eager to add Law & Order to my collection, but I had to use another body.

Enter the single-carded Zartan figure from Wave 1 Collection 2 of the movie line. I passed on this figure before and after seeing the movie. I really enjoyed the character in the flick, but I didn't want a "disguised" version of Zartan (more on that later this week). Once I saw that Law was using the same body, but repainted with the desert camo scheme, I finally had a reason to buy one. This is simply Law's head (originally used for Dusty), helmet, and baton with the Zartan body. For me, the grey camo pattern makes for a much better MP figure in general. If he's going to be stationed at The PIT, he can save the desert gear until it's relocated to Utah.

G.I. JOE figures with animals have always been a big hit with me, so I dug Law & Order back in the '80s. I always thought the original figure looked goofy, though. It doesn't happen often, but I prefer this over a straight 25th-style release of the character.

Law & Order: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Part III

Cobra Science Officer: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Part II

2010-01-19T13:11:00.005-05:00

One of the best movie figures from the G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra line was Rex "The Doctor" Lewis, and I immediately decided I'd need a duplicate for my non-movie display when I first saw images of the toy. What I didn't know at the time was that a second version, a white coat variant, would be available later. Once that was revealed, I knew it was the one I wanted. Even a mad scientist like Dr. Mindbender needs someone to assist him in the lab with his research and experiments, so providing him with a lackey was the first idea that came to mind for this figure. It wouldn't do to stick with the Rex head, however, as that's too movie-specific for my tastes. This is one of those bodies with a shorter neck, though, so some heads would sit much too low on the figure.

Duke to the rescue!

Since there won't be any movie versions of Duke in my classics display, this ended up being a great match. It's just the white coat version of Rex with the Duke head from the Toys R Us Cobra ROC five-pack (originally used for the v33 "Desert Ambush" Duke figure). The final result is my Cobra Science Officer, ready to help Mindbender with his next sinister creation, and complete with a normal, non-Freddy-looking head. This body would also be great for a modern Dr. Venom custom, but with an exclusive figure coming soon from the G.I. JOE Collectors' Club, I'll wait for that and hope for a more classic look for our dearly departed Dr. Venom.

Cobra Science Officer: Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra Part II

Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra: Security Squad

2010-01-18T13:11:00.006-05:00

I'll start by saying I'm a big fan of many items from Hasbro's The Rise Of Cobra line. There are great vehicles like the new Night Raven, the Cobra Gunship, the Steel Crusher A.P.V., and the Dragonhawk helicopter. I was happy to add some of the figures to my collection, as well. Night Adder is an instant classic and one of the coolest new characters introduced to the brand in years. Paris Pursuit Snake-Eyes, the PIT Commando, Rex "The Doctor" Lewis, and Flash were favorites, too. Don't forget the ROC repaints of the Night Creeper and Strato-Viper.

The unfortunate truth, however, is that most of the figures just don't fit in too well with the classic characters of the Modern/25th Anniversary line. Or they don't mesh right out of the package, anyway. A little mixing and matching can go a long way, though, and that will be my focus for the next few days. None of these will require any paint or tools. With a few simple tweaks like head swaps and gear exchanges, even the movie line's peg warming army builders (not-so-affectionately dubbed the "Turtle Vipers" by many G.I. JOE collectors) can work their way into a classic Cobra display. I'll start with those guys, and we'll see how cool these figures look under their "turtle" shells.

This first figure is a Neo-Viper from the Wal-Mart-exclusive Heetseek Missile System mini battle station. I simply removed the "turtle" chest armor, replaced the head with the blonde "Breaker" head from the Toys R Us Firefly vs. G.I. JOE Troopers five-pack, and armed him with a rifle from the PIT Commando figure.

The second figure is the Neo-Viper from the Target-exclusive Serpent Armor set. Once again, I removed the chest armor, swapped his head out for a Serpentor head, and armed him with a PIT Commando rifle.

The third figure is the Neo-Viper from the Toys R Us Cobra ROC five-pack. Same rifle, same head and armor removal, and this time he gets a Footloose head from the Toys R Us G.I. JOE ROC five-pack.

The fourth figure is just the M.A.R.S. Industries Officer from the Toys R Us Cobra ROC five-pack, sans the Resolute Cobra Trooper helmet. The Duke-in-disguise figure from that same set even came with the rifle I used for everyone else, so he gets the same weapon as his teammates.

What I ended up with is a new Cobra Security Squad, all without breaking out a screwdriver, a brush, or even a non-Hasbro weapon. In my mind, they're private contractors (think Blackwater) who patrol Cobra Island and report to Night Adder. In keeping with the snake theme, I'm thinking of referring to them as Lancehead Company.

Getting More From The Rise Of Cobra: Security Squad

Hit-Girl Kicks Ass!

2009-12-22T13:11:00.001-05:00

Justice League: Crisis On Two Earths Trailer

2009-11-11T13:11:00.000-05:00

Written by one of the best in the business, Dwayne McDuffie.

New Superman Cartoon In The Works?

2009-09-18T08:26:00.002-04:00

Check out this Twitter update (yes, I call them "Twitter updates") from James Urbaniak, the voice actor behind Doctor Thaddeus Venture from The Venture Bros.

Quote:

Have an audition for a Superman cartoon. Sadly not the title part.

Could this be a new series, or possibly another DTV release from Warner Premiere? We already know who's voicing the main characters in Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (written by Dwayne McDuffie), which is scheduled for a spring release next year, so they're not auditioning for roles in that. One way or another, this means more new animation on the horizon for the Man of Steel, so stay tuned for more details.

When Superman Needs A Giant Mirror...

2009-09-18T08:14:00.001-04:00

He goes to Palomar Observatory, of course. Scott Kardel, my pal and the guy to whom I turn for all information related to astronomy, is Public Affairs Coordinator for the observatory. He posted a great Super Friends clip over at his Palomar Skies blog. In it, Superman travels to Palomar to make use of their 200-inch mirror.

Scott's blog is a terrific resource of knowledge and photography, so be sure to bookmark it for return visits in the future.

Dreadnok: Bloodbath

2009-09-13T17:55:00.005-04:00

Going back to the first time I saw Heavy Duty from Hasbro's The Rise Of Cobra preview at Toy Fair, I knew I wanted to use him as the base for a custom. The design was perfect for a character from DDP's Dreadnoks Declassified, specifically the one seen taking cover behind the table in this panel:

With a little paint and some new weapons, the final result just needed a name and a story.

Here's the layered PSD file if anyone can use a G.I. JOE filecard template.

Bloodbath is armed with the Combat Shotgun and Machete (painted) from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

Dreadnok: Bloodbath

New Blood: Night Adder (Cobra Security)

2009-09-12T13:11:00.005-04:00

I received my HasbroToyShop.com order for some of the wave 4 figures from The Rise Of Cobra this week. Included was Night Adder, the first unique Cobra character introduced to the property since the 25th Anniversary construction style debuted in 2007.

With Shadow Tracker coming in 2010's Pursuit Of Cobra line, Hasbro's follow-up to The Rise Of Cobra, we'll be getting another brand new character in just a matter of months. This development is right up my alley, as there just haven't been enough distinct personalities in Cobra beyond the army builder figures. Sure, I still wish Hasbro would produce previously established characters like Zandar, Zarana, Zanya, Thrasher, Road Pig (and the tooling used for Night Adder makes for the perfect Road Pig body), and Big Boa, but I'm all for new blood, as well. In fact, I was planning on injecting some into my own collection from the moment I saw the Heavy Duty figure from The Rise Of Cobra in images from Toy Fair. I'll save that for tomorrow, though.

Con Not Found

2009-09-02T13:11:00.002-04:00

If you've searched for "HeroesCon" on Google for the last month or so, you found this page as the first result. Why? Because someone at Heroes decided it would be a good idea to move the page from /heroescon.html to a directory named /heroescon. Apparently, no one ever explained anything about the workings of search engines to the individual responsible for this decision. I'd wager there are thousands upon thousands of pages linking to the old URL, and maybe a handful linking to the new one. I've updated the last year's worth of posts here to reflect the change, but most people won't notice or even realize what's happened for some time. That means the convention's official presence on the internet is now buried with no PageRank behind a "File Not Found" page.

So here it is, the new HeroesCon URL. Remember, kids, consult someone with a working knowledge of search engine optimization before you go making changes to the structure of your web site.

Inception Teaser

2009-08-27T13:11:00.001-04:00

So the teaser trailer for Christopher Nolan's next project, Inception, was released online this week, but there hasn't been much talk about it. Maybe that's because people don't really know what to say yet. Of course, that's the brilliance of Nolan's non-Bat work, isn't it? With Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine, Ken Watanabe, Tom Hardy (Handsome Bob in Guy Ritchie's RocknRolla), this film is packing a stellar cast. Tom Berenger is in it, too, but even he has managed a couple of memorable performances in his career (A Murder Of Crows comes to mind). This is obviously the movie to see next summer, Iron Man II be damned.

With Paramount's odd decision to delay Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island until February, it looks like DiCaprio will be headlining the two biggest thrillers of 2010.

Ten Reasons Why The Rise Of Cobra Was Better Than G.I. JOE: Resolute

2009-08-21T13:11:00.010-04:00

Before I begin with this list, I'd like to preface this entry with two notes and a warning.

First of all, I'm a big fan of Warren Ellis' work, and not just his comics. His episode of Justice League Unlimited, "Dark Heart," was fantastic. Ellis is an extraordinarily gifted writer, and one I count among my favorites. Having said that, I'm not sure if he was right for this job, or if he just phoned it in without taking it very seriously. Maybe the "webisode" micro-series format created a problem, or perhaps Sam Register, Ruiner Of All That Is Good, had too much influence over the final product. Whatever the case may be, this is not an indictment of Ellis' ability.

Secondly, I thoroughly enjoyed the animation and most of the character designs in G.I. JOE: Resolute. Joaquim Dos Santos is another master of his craft, but like Ellis, I felt his talents were wasted on this project. When I first saw this collaboration announced, I honestly believed that Resolute would be the best G.I. JOE release of 2009. I don't know that my initial assumption could have been more off the mark.

As for the warning, if you still haven't seen either of these, and you plan to do so eventually, stop reading. I'm not going to hide spoiler text, so proceed at your peril. With that out of the way, I give you Ten Reasons Why The Rise Of Cobra Was Better Than G.I. JOE: Resolute:

10) Hawk was in command. For whatever reason, Hawk was totally MIA in Resolute. The whole, "Duke is in charge," aspect of the Sunbow series was one of the many things I hated about it, and here he was, right back in command of the whole goddamn team. Aside from a couple of elements involving the history of Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow and a reference to (the wrong) Springfield, this thing seemed to be catering to fans of the 1980s cartoon from the very start. For people who grew up with the Sunbow episodes as their idea of what G.I. JOE is, I'll admit that Resolute was an improvement, but that's really not saying much. Maybe fans of the show were predisposed to being more easily entertained by this stuff, but as a Hama fan, it was an absolute letdown.

9) Stephen Sommers didn't pussy out when it came time to kill one off the good guys (er, girls). Just after Scarlett's audition for CSI: Washington in Resolute, we see an explosion on the U.S.S. Flagg, followed by the revelation that a well-known JOE had been killed while on guard duty. That JOE was Bazooka, who was killed off-screen by Storm Shadow. In fact, agents of Cobra (aside from Major Bludd, who also died off-screen) are the only named characters who die in front of the audience. We never see a JOE, or even an anonymous civilian, die on-screen. Why? Well, a lot of it probably has to do with the fact that Resolute Cobra Troopers are about as effective with their weapons as the Stormtroopers in STAR WARS. Several of them miss Duke and Scarlett at very close range. It was like I'd suddenly been transported back to the '80s, despite promises of "grown-up" G.I. JOE animation. When it came time to kill off Cover Girl in The Rise Of Cobra, though, Sommers didn't hold back. His Zartan stabbed her right in the back and on through the screen of her large tablet-thingy. Sure, Resolute was violent, but with the absurd amount of poor aim and the completely one-sided battles, the violence it did showcase seemed forced. Violence for the sake of violence does not make for an entertaining experience.

8) No one confused the stratosphere for a fucking tunnel. Seriously, when G.I. JOE has a job that requires sending someone halfway to outer space, just how the hell does Tunnel Rat draw that duty? And was it really even necessary for him to float up there to apply his "power surge" cure-all? With all the technology used in this story, couldn't we come up with something that wouldn't require sending the wrong guy on a balloon ride twenty or thirty miles up in the air? Okay, just to avoid any future confusion, anyone who's not sure of the difference can use this diagram (original located here):

7) Duke wasn't doing his Wolverine impression. Seriously, I like Steve Blum's work, and the guy has plenty of range. Why, though, does his Duke sound exactly like his Logan? If you've seen Hulk Vs. or Wolverine and the X-Men (and you should if you haven't), or even played any recent Marvel-based video games, it's fairly distracting.

6) Snake-Eyes wasn't Duke's bitch. In The Rise Of Cobra, it was all Duke could manage to get Snake-Eyes on the ground with a cheap shot during a sparring match. Duke needed that Delta Six accelerator suit just to keep up with Snake-Eyes. In Resolute, Duke's grumpy glare and, "You be ready when we need you," shit is exactly the time for Snake-Eyes to give a look that says, "I'm going to do what I need to do, and I'll be ready when I'm good and goddamn ready, Duke. And hey, if you don't like it, I can go ninja upside your stupid face." That's all Snake-Eyes needs to convey that message, just a look. From behind a mask. And don't even get me started on the bizarre crossbreeding of continuities where Duke punks Snake-Eyes out with Scarlett, guilting her into choosing to be with him before Snake-Eyes even leaves the room. Why the need to cut Snake-Eyes' nuts off in Resolute? Just to make Duke look tougher?

5) Cobra Commander managed to be sinister. Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Cobra Commander was infinitely more minacious than the imbecilic portrayal in Resolute. Despite excusing past failures by saying, "it suited (him) once to appear weak and cowardly," in order to "motivate" his subordinates to "think," what does the Resolute Cobra Commander do when the chips are down? He massacres his own followers and locks himself in a panic room. After telling Duke he won't be able to stop Cobra's doomsday device du jour from firing, Duke apparently locates a convenient deus ex machina in the form of a switch that redirects the weapon. Right at Cobra headquarters. Can't stop it, but you can aim it right at us! Oy vey. Gordon-Levitt's character exuded scary and threatening, delivering a competent Commander that can be taken seriously.

4) Destro and Baroness actually did stuff. Resolute transformed two of the most compelling, interesting personalities of the entire mythos into a wannabe, Bonnie-and-Clyde-style duo of common thugs, their sole purpose in the story being guard duty over a building and a group of hostages. Destro was actually shown to be an arms dealer with a grudge against his client states in The Rise Of Cobra, and Baroness turned out to be more than just his tagalong/sidekick/lover. ROC Destro is a convincing villain; Resolute Destro says, "Aw, that's just bloody cheating."

3) Arnold Vosloo's Zartan, scripted perfectly by Stuart Beattie and performed flawlessly by Vosloo, was a completely enjoyable character. He was exactly what a villain should be, cold and calculating, a creepy sociopath who makes the audience have a good time with all the awful things he does. Beattie gave him a trademark whistle, which even gives you a good chuckle immediately after you realize the guy probably murdered the President of the United States. The Zartan of Resolute was shallow and one-dimensional, more of a minor plot obstacle than a character. It was glaringly obvious that absolutely no thought went into his inclusion beyond, "Oh, yeah, get the guy who can blend into his surroundings into the story." What was Zartan's contribution? Stereotypical monologuing until he gets shot in the back in the most intellectually lazy scene of the entire affair.

"I like the idea of living in a world where I can kill anyone I like, any time I like. I don't need the money; I just need the killin'." Fuck's sake, that's garbage. It's not at all true to any previous depiction of the character, either.

2) Storm Shadow was not portrayed as a whining, petulant child in The Rise Of Cobra. His bitching and whining in the animation is rivaled only by the bitching and whining of obnoxious "fans" who insist that The Rise Of Cobra "insulted" the source material and ruined their childhood memories. Going back to the original Marvel series from the '80s, and even in the awful Sunbow cartoons, Storm Shadow was always an honorable warrior. Always. There were no exceptions. He was never a pathetic, sniveling twat who would conspire in his own uncle's assassination, simply because the man refused to share a dangerous secret with him. His sole motivation in the non-flashback scenes of Resolute was his jealousy of Snake-Eyes, and his reason for becoming a terrorist in the first place was that Unkey Hardmaster didn't wuv him enough. Every aspect of this interpretation of Storm Shadow was an abject disappointment.

1) The Rise Of Cobra was fun. I don't mean it was, "turn off your brain," mindless action, like some critics have suggested. I mean the movie, the story, the characters, and the action were all fun. Resolute failed miserably in this department, crawling at a snail's pace and feeding its audience an overdose of unnecessary exposition. That's not to say Resolute needed more shooting or explosions, but it needed more something, as it was dreadfully boring. There was actually plenty of action, even if most of it was poorly executed. The problem was with the contrived story and phony dialogue that wrapped around the action.

Like pretty much everyone else who grew up with the G.I. JOE books published by Marvel Comics, I have a personal preference for those stories, and I would have been happier if The Rise Of Cobra had adhered more closely to them. What really matters when it comes to this sort of thing, though, is that a filmmaker gets the fundamentals right, and Stephen Sommers accomplished that. But hey, don't take my word for it. Listen to Larry Hama in this interview:

Quote:

I really like it. I mean, I like it for all the really sort of basic reasons. I think they were really true to the core of the characters. Scarlett seems like Scarlett. Snake-Eyes comes off as Snake-Eyes. Storm Shadow is Storm Shadow.

Compare that with what he had to say about Resolute:

Quote:

I read a couple of the scripts, and it just seemed like he really didn't understand the characters. I wasn't really interested. He didn't seem to also understand anything about military terminology or technology, for that matter, either. So I just turned myself off.

'Nuff said.

Ten Reasons Why The Rise Of Cobra Was Better Than G.I. JOE: Resolute

The Ballad of G.I. JOE

2009-08-10T14:10:00.002-04:00

The Ballad of G.I. JOE from Funny or Die:

What a cast!

Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye
Billy Crudup as Zartan
Zach Galifiankais as Snow Job
Tony Hale as Dr. Mindbender
Vinnie Jones as Destro
Chuck Liddell as Gung Ho
Julianne Moore as Scarlett
Henry Rollins as Duke
Alan Tudyk as Shipwreck
Olivia Wilde as The Baroness
and Sgt. Slaughter as Himself

The Invasion Of Tacky Villain Island

2009-08-06T13:11:00.004-04:00

These were posted on the official G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra movie site. They did a great job with the animation, but not so much with the figures walking. They're totally goofy, but there are some really funny moments. Pay attention to how many times Cobra Commander's costume changes in his first scene and the Cobra Trooper's reaction to seeing Snake-Eyes.

Firefly steals the show in part two, and Stalker and Beach Head miss an obvious Jules & Vincent moment. I was disappointed when the clip didn't end with the two of them looking over breakfast menus in a diner.

G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra opens tomorrow!

Dr. Mindbender Gets His Fix

2009-07-26T12:56:00.009-04:00

So after receiving my Defense Of Cobra Island seven-pack, I wanted to "fix" the straps on Dr. Mindbender. When you first remove him from the package, the straps curve inward and even look to be one piece on some of the figures. I've seen people mention heating them up and all kinds of things, but the solution is much simpler than that.

Okay, see how the belt of his harness sits above the sculpted belt on the figure's waist? Just pull the removable belt down over the sculpted one, and the straps will straighten themselves out quite well. It's a snug fit, but work it from both sides and you'll get it. That's all there is to it.

And as great as Dr. Mindbender, Night Creeper, and Alley Viper are, the real sleeper hit from this set is Range Viper. I liked the original ARAH version as a kid, and all, but I love this update. I thought it looked good when I saw him online, but having him in my hands made all the difference in the world. This is a great figure, one of the best Cobra Trooper builders in the line.

Sign Here, Please: Rod Whigham

2009-07-21T13:11:00.004-04:00

Up next for me on Friday was Rod Whigham, artist on issues 31, 34-36, and 38-56 of Marvel Comics' 1980s G.I. JOE title. This was a great period for the book, and Mr. Whigham's art was a big influence on my ideas of what the property should be. While chatting with him, he mentioned wishing he'd done a better job with these books, but I loved every panel of every page. In fact, my display of loose 25th Anniversary/Modern Era G.I. JOE figures is going to consist mostly of a large diorama inspired by his artwork and Larry Hama's stories. I took a couple of my favorite issues, #45 and #46, to HeroesCon to have him sign.

It was a real treat to meet Mr. Whigham after so many years of enjoying his contributions to the G.I. JOE universe, especially when he was so friendly and outgoing with his fans.

Sign Here, Please: Rod Whigham

Sign Here, Please: Michael Golden

2009-07-19T19:47:00.003-04:00

Looking back to the earlier days of G.I. JOE comics, my next stop was at the table of Michael Golden, artist of the legendary G.I. JOE Yearbook #2 cover. My best friend had given me a copy of that book, so I took it with me to have it signed:

Mr. Golden was very friendly, and he took the time to discuss his upcoming project, a rerelease of Yearbook #2 for IDW. He's already redone the cover, and he's adding several pages of artwork to the story. Hearing him talk about it made me want to see it right away, but he said to expect a late 2009 or early 2010 release. Mr. Golden also had prints available for sale, including this Cobra print which I absolutely had to buy:

As you can see, most of my Friday was spent collecting artwork and signatures on books. I'll have another classic G.I. JOE artist for my next entry.

Sign Here, Please: Michael Golden

Sign Here, Please: Tom Feister

2009-07-17T13:11:00.003-04:00

Next on my list to track down at HeroesCon 2009 was Tom Feister, one of the artists on IDW's G.I. JOE: Origins, written by Larry Hama. He also worked on DDP's G.I. JOE: Frontline earlier this decade. Of all the writers and artists I've met from the comic industry, this was one of the coolest, friendliest guys of the bunch. And not only is his artwork fantastic, but he has a real familiarity with the original Marvel title, and a great Larry Hama story to go along with it. In addition to talking JOE, he really dug Jennifer's Question plush, which she was carrying around in her bag on Friday. In fact, he sent us over to Cully Hamner's table so she could show it to him. He was equally impressed with her Etrigan plush and Rorschach plush, which she had on Saturday and Sunday respectively. We really enjoyed meeting and talking with him, and I hope he makes it back to Charlotte next year.

I took my copy of Origins #1 with the Tom Feister cover to the convention center on Friday:

I also had to pick up one of the prints he had for sale, and it wasn't difficult to choose this one, featuring Snake-Eyes from the cover of G.I. JOE: Origins #5. I mean, it's Snake-Eyes.

Like I said, I hope to see him again at next year's convention.

Sign Here, Please: Tom Feister

Sign Here, Please: Jeremy Dale

2009-07-03T13:54:00.004-04:00

With so many people who've contributed to G.I. JOE comics over the years at HeroesCon 2009, I had a stash of books to get signed. The first artist I located Friday morning was Jeremy Dale, artist on six of the twelve books that were included in the 25th Anniversary comic two-packs. There are no credits in the books, which were written by Larry Hama, but he recently posted a list of which ones he drew here. I was armed with issue #36½ (featuring Tomax and Xamot) and issue #7 (featuring Destro, Baroness, and Iron Grenadiers).

Not only was Mr. Dale kind enough to sign those books (and seemingly surprised that they were in as good condition as they are), but he also had G.I. JOE prints for sale. How could I resist? The guy's artwork is fantastic, so I had to add these to my collection.

Jeremy Dale is currently offering original artwork from his G.I. JOE comics, so be sure to check out his site.

Sign Here, Please: Jeremy Dale

HeroesCon 2009 In (Very Few) Pictures

2009-06-29T13:11:00.007-04:00

Okay, so I know I said I was going to take more photos at HeroesCon this year. I really intended to do it, too. The best laid plans, and all that. Of course, I'm usually shopping for action figures, busts, statues, and various other collectibles at least as much as I'm shopping for books, but that wasn't the case this year. I only came home with seven or so action figures this time, which is less than I usually buy the first day. It wasn't for a lack of trying, either. The selection of stuff I didn't already have just wasn't there. No, I spent most of this year with my face buried in boxes of books, coming home with a dozen or so trade paperbacks and hardcovers and around 400 single issues. Sorting through all those books is a big part of why I haven't updated the blog yet. I did manage to snap a few photos, though, but I'll have many more pics of what I brought home than from the con itself. Anyway, here's what I managed to get:

This is the con floor from the seating area over near the concessions. That crowded booth in the background under the "Aisle 200" sign had just dropped from ½ price trades to $5 trades, so they were having a busy Sunday.

Here's the Sci-Fi Genre booth. I visited their store in Durham last year, and I've ordered from their online store several times. What a great, friendly group of people they are. Looking back, maybe I should have bought that $6 Supernova figure hanging there.

These next two photos are of The Outer Rim Collectibles' booth. He had a good selection of 25th Anniversary and "Modern Era" G.I. JOE figures available.

This guy was walking around in a Storm Shadow costume, so when he was standing next to me at the DC Comics booth, I decided to take a photo.

And here's a shot of Jennifer with a guy in a Cobra Commander costume. She's 5'6", by the way.

You can see larger HeroesCon 2009 photos on my Flickr, but that's pretty much it. As I mentioned, I'll have plenty of photos of stuff I brought home from the convention to post throughout the week, but those were the only photos of the actual con I managed to take. From what I've seen on the web, there were several attendees in recognizable costumes, but I didn't see many of them. I guess I was too busy digging through $1, fifty-cent, and even ten-cent comic boxes and wondering why no one had any recent DC Direct releases (or Marvel Universe, or JLU, or any of the pricey G.I. JOE variants). Where I failed, though, others succeeded. Here's the official Heroes Aren't Hard To Find convention set on Flickr. Seriously, I never even saw this Cobra Commander & Baroness or any of these guys. Here's some more HeroesCon costumers on ComicBook.com, too. While I did see the GL from a distance, I never caught so much as a glimpse of Wonder Woman, Cassie Hack, Renee Montoya, or that Batman. I've seen that Harley before, though, and I hope to never, ever see her again.

Twenty-, Twenty-, Twenty-Four Hours To Go

2009-06-18T10:30:00.005-04:00

HeroesCon 2009 officially kicks of in twenty-four hours, at least for those of us shrewd enough to purchase a three-day advance pass. I'm happy to see that Sci-Fi Genre is on the list of exhibitors. Unfortunately, I don't see many of the vendors from the Northeast who used to set up shop at HeroesCon up until a few years ago. I was hoping that with gas prices down from what they were last year, some of those guys might make the trip again, but it looks like mostly regional dealers from the Southeast. That's how it's been for the last few years, and the prices and selection suffer for it. There will still be plenty to buy and lots of great deals to be had, but the days of $5 DC Direct figures and $30 long boxes full of comics seem to be gone for good.

I always take my camera with me to the convention, but I never end up taking many photos. I'm going to make an effort to do better with that this year, so I'm hoping to have plenty of pictures to share here and on Flickr. I'll try to get shots of comics and toys at dealer booths, the DC and Marvel setups, some of the talent, and some of the costumers. And of course, I'll have images of whatever figures, books, and other goodies I bring home from the con.

Seven Days in Sunny June

2009-06-12T13:11:00.004-04:00

With just one week to go until HeroesCon 2009, the Event Schedule has been released, and here's a look at the DC Comics panels:

From the HeroesCon 2009 Event Schedule

Friday, June 19
2:00 PM
DC UNIVERSE | Room 213BCD
Join DC's Senior Story Editor Ian Sattler, Editor Brian Cunningham and countless DCU talent for a panel that's not to be missed. With "Blackest Night" looming, what lies ahead for your favorite universe? Find out here!

Saturday, June 20
1:00 PM
DC NATION | Room 213BCD
The NATION calls out once more to the DC Faithful! DC's Senior Story Editor Ian Sattler and Editor Brian Cunningham lead a list of A-list talent to talk all things DC. Come one, come all, the DC NATION welcomes you!

For anyone who may prefer an inferior universe, here's a look at the Marvel panels:

From the HeroesCon 2009 Event Schedule

Friday, June 19
1:00 PM
MARVEL COMICS :: PINT O' C.B. | Room 217BCD
He’s one of the most recognized persons in the comic industry, at the center of many things Marvel. He’s C.B. Cebulski, Writer and Marvel Talent Liaison, and he’s joined by the top writers in the industry to take on all questions and drop a few surprise announcements! Join Brian Michael Bendis (Ultimate Spider-Man), Matt Fraction (Invincible Iron Man), Ed Brubaker (Captain America), Mark Waid (Amazing Spider-Man) and more!

Saturday, June 20
2:00 PM
MARVEL: DARK REIGN | Room 217BCD
He lost, they won. They are the new Masters of the Marvel Universe, and they are NOT nice people. The villains finally have their day, now hear from the folks pulling the strings what happens next. This panel will have the announcement of the next big chapter in Marvel history, so be there for it! Featuring Brian Michael Bendis (Dark Avengers, New Avengers), Matt Fraction (Dark Avengers/X-Men), Jonathan Hickman (Secret Warriors), and editor Jeanine Schaefer.

And on the G.I. JOE front, Herbe Trimpe was added to the guest list on Tuesday. Mr. Trimpe was the artist on issues #1, 3, 4, 6, 7, and 8 of the original Marvel series.

And while you're at the show, be sure to stop by booth #145 and check out the local Charlotte artists of the God City crew.

The Milestone Mission

2009-06-05T07:38:00.003-04:00

Two weeks and counting until HeroesCon '09, and I'm going through books and making lists of what I need to complete titles, or even just stories in some cases. In addition to supplementing my Marvel and DDP G.I. JOE collections, a big priority this year will be trying to finish off runs of several Milestone Media titles. I'm specifically trying to pick up the few issues of Blood Syndicate, Hardware, Icon, and Static that I'm still missing. I'd like to pick up some Xombi and Shadow Cabinet books, too, but I'm very close to full sets of the other four, so they'll be the focus of my search efforts.

With Static and other characters from the Milestone Dakotaverse making their way into the DCU, I'd like to get reacquainted with them, so I'll be looking to fill out the holes in my collection when the convention starts on June 19. I've gone through all of my single issues, so now it's on to my hardcovers and trade paperbacks to see what else I'll be trying to acquire.

Plaxi-no

2009-06-03T13:11:00.000-04:00

Well, I've removed the image of my McFarlane Sports Picks Plaxico figure from the site graphics. I decided to do it as soon as the Giants released him, but I just got around to starting it over the weekend. He did catch the game-winning touchdown pass in Super Bowl XLII, and all, so he'll stay on my NY Giants shelf. He's no longer a member of the team, and he'll most likely end up playing elsewhere before his career is over, so I couldn't keep him on the site.

Stupid, stupid Plaxico... Deadpool might do something dumb, but I shouldn't have any trouble out of Snake-Eyes.

Here Comes The BOOM: Monkeywrench

2009-05-30T19:26:00.008-04:00

Cock the glock to your head, let off about two in it. Yeah, it's a dirty job, but I just love doin' it...

Joining the ranks of my 25th Anniversary collection now is Monkeywrench, who was first introduced to the G.I. JOE line in 1986. Almost immediately after I bought a couple of figures for parts to work on this character, he showed up in Wal-Mart's inventory system as part of a forthcoming two-pack in the Rise Of Cobra movie line. I was annoyed at first, but also happy that a proper version was on the way. A few days later, images of a figure with a repainted Outback head were revealed, and I was suddenly happy I'd started gathering the pieces. I'm all for sensible reuse of tooling to create new characters from existing molds, but the key word there is sensible. Outback's head on Monkeywrench doesn't qualify.

I did more kinds of war crimes, more times than in war times, went way before times...

With many thanks to customizer Mandingo Rex for the inspirational recipe:

Torso, waist, legs, and upper arms: comic pack Torch
Lower arms: comic pack Ripper
Head: STAR WARS Legacy Obi-Wan Kenobi
Bandolier: 2009 five-pack Snake-Eyes
Vest & sunglasses: Mutt Williams (deluxe version w/ motorcycle)
Weapon: ARAH Monkeywrench weapon

The hole in the bottom of Obi-Wan's head is bigger than the ball on Torch's neck, so I used Handi-Tak Reusable Adhesive to compensate. It will hold the head in place, but it's not permanent, so I can turn his head back and forth without removing it.

You know what's sad, man? That I'm such a madman, bad man, with that BOOM you never had, man...

Here Comes The BOOM: Monkeywrench

21 Days

2009-05-29T13:11:00.008-04:00

With just three weeks to go before HeroesCon 2009, here's a breakdown of some of the guests who'll be at this year's convention:

Mark Bagley
Brian Michael Bendis
Ed Brubaker
Cliff Chiang
Frank Cho
Tommy Lee Edwards
Matt Fraction
Cully Hamner
Adam Hughes
Jamal Igle
Steve Niles
George Pérez
Karl Story
Ethan Van Sciver
Dexter Vines
Mark Waid

You can check out some of what Steve Niles and Ethan Van Sciver were kind enough to do at last year's HeroesCon.

Both of the Big Two publishers will have a presence there, and hopefully lots of information and goodies for everyone.

DC Comics
Marvel Comics

And for G.I. JOE fans, this year's convention is going to be fully stocked with talent who've contributed to the property over the years:

Robert Atkins - Artist on IDW's 2009 G.I. JOE reboot.
Jeremy Dale - Artist on several of the comics released in 25th Anniversary two-packs.
Marc Deering
Tom Feister - Cover artist on IDW's G.I. JOE Origins.
S.L. Gallant - Artist on IDW's G.I. JOE and the movie prequel books.
Michael Golden - Artist behind the incredible cover of G.I. JOE Yearbook #2 (which I can't wait to get signed).
Rick Ketcham - Inker on IDW's G.I. JOE.
Eric Layton - Inker in DDP run.
Pat Quinn - Artist on G.I. JOE Declassified.
Rod Whigham - Artist on about two dozen issues of Marvel's G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero.
John 'Waki' Wycough - Inker on IDW's G.I. JOE.

And that's just a sample of who will be there. See the complete guest list for yourself, and start making plans to attend.

One Month And Counting

2009-05-19T19:34:00.004-04:00

Spark Mad Izm

2009-05-02T11:49:00.002-04:00

Natch.

G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra Destro In-Hand

2009-03-31T00:00:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I never do this, buy figures from China before they're officially released at retail. It's something I've always resisted, but when eBay seller ws_toys listed the movie version Destro figure on eBay, I gave in to temptation. The figure looks enough like the Destro I grew up with to make me want it, and for $15 shipped, I just couldn't pass on the opportunity. I was considering a similar item from another line last week, but when it broke the $100 range, I rediscovered my sense of willpower.

When I'm finished, the world will never forget...

The figure itself is topnotch. All the paint is exactly as it should be, and the joints are nice and tight, but none of the articulated pieces stick. The design and constrcution picks up right where the 25th Anniversary line leaves off, with double-jointed knees and articulated ankles, hips, hands, elbows, shoulders, and neck. His shirt and coat collar are a separate piece, which gives Hasbro options if they want to use this body again. The head is not the reflective chrome look of the past, but closer to the metallic gray used in the Cobra five-pack from 2007. His dog tag stand has a Cobra emblem on the bottom, the kind of thing I'm sure I'd have worn around the neighborhood when I was eight years old. Like it or not, collectors, there are going to be kids who love these toys.

What did you say your unit was called?

Destro comes with four weapons: A black pistol that fits in his removable shoulder holster, a gray pistol, a modular gray rifle that can be broken down into two parts, and a spring-loaded rocket launcher. I'm sure that last one will get some blood boiling, but the great thing about those weapons is that you can chuck them into the trash if you don't like them. I know that won't stop people from getting online to complain about them, but the option is always there. The gray pistol and rifle have pegs that fit into small holes on the sides of Destro's legs. From what I've seen, most of the movie figures share this design element. I think that would be my only real issue with them, when a holster would have made all the difference in the world.

Destro with spring-loaded, rocket launching action...

I'm not expecting anything like The Dark Knight or Watchmen when G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra hits theaters in August, nor would I have ever thought we'd get something like that from G.I. JOE, regardless of who writes, directs, or stars in a live-action version. It might be just fun enough to enjoy seeing some familiar concepts brought to the big screen for a couple of hours, though, especially when the ninjas take the spotlight. I'm not overly optimistic, though. That said, some of these toys that are coming out in the movie line look like a blast, and hopefully Destro here is just the beginning. I'm looking forward to seeing these at retailers this summer and adding a few more characters to my collection. If nothing else, I'm glad to see Hasbro giving movie lines the 3¾" treatment. Between these and the comic series X-Men Origins: Wolverine figures, it's a great year for the scale.

So stop your complaining about what Hasbro and Paramount are doing to your childhood, and just try to have some fun with the toys. Besides, your childhood was asking for it.

G.I. JOE: The Rise Of Cobra Destro In-Hand

Move Over, G.I. Jane

2009-03-29T13:11:00.003-04:00

Although I found it a little irritating that Hasbro invested in tooling to release a new Lady Jaye figure this year, despite the fact she was already one of only three female characters in the 25th Anniversary line, it provided an opportunity to do something with the new body. This wasn't something I'd have bothered to do with the wave 2 Lady Jaye, since I already used that figure's upper torso for my custom 25th Zarana. It wouldn't have made a lot of sense to have multiple females running around Cobra Island with that same look, but this new body invited an easy repaint.

Behind a gun, I'll make my final stand...

The 2009 G.I. JOE five-pack Lady Jaye's green uniform was painted blue, and her boots, gloves, belt, and knees were painted black. She wasn't originally intended to have kneepads, but black paint and the double-jointed knees make for a simple conversion. The removable belt, knife sheath on her chest, and satchel from the five-pack Shipwreck were painted burgandy. Top it off with a head swap from the single carded Viper, and she's ready to lead her guys into a firefight.

Bad Company, till the day I die...

The Female Viper Officer is armed with a Heckler & Koch XM8, available from Marauder "Gun-Runners" as the High-Tech Assault Rifle w/ Removable Ammo clip.

Move Over, G.I. Jane

All In The Family: Conclusion

2009-03-20T13:11:00.002-04:00

While I spent more time than I care to admit working on these customs, I'd happily toss them in a box and stuff it in the back of a closet if Hasbro would release a properly updated version of Zarana and finally get around to producing a Zanya figure. I haven't yet decided if I'll attempt to come up with Zartan's brother, Zandar. I have a base body set aside for it, but I'm just not sure I'm up to the challenge. I think some actual sculpting would be required just to make it passable, and I had enough difficulty with the painting. That's what keeps me from trying customs of Monkeywrench (check out this one by Gunslingercbr to see how he should look), Road Pig, and Thrasher, too. My only real hope for those characters is that Hasbro decides to kick out with some more Dreadnok goodness once they decide to explore some classics again after the upcoming Rise Of Cobra film.

A snapshot in the family album...

Speaking of the movie toys, I have some ideas I want to try with some of those characters. I haven't seen a figure yet that look as though it will work in my display as is (a couple of the vehicles are another story), but I can definitely appropriate some of the new heads. I'm really looking forward to the Heavy Duty figure, and not because I want Heavy Duty, but because I think his body style and uniform have a lot of potential for something completely different. Depending on what Marvel Universe releases in the way of female characters, I'm hoping that I'll be able to come up with a decent recipe for Jinx.

All In The Family: Conclusion

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zartan
All In The Family: Zarana
All In The Family: Zanya

All In The Family: Zanya

2009-03-18T13:11:00.004-04:00

Once I was nearly finished with Zarana, I still had a desire to continue. I knew I wanted Zartan's daughter, Zanya, to go with my Dreadnoks, but where would I start? There are only three females in the line, and I've already combined parts from Scarlett and Lady Jaye to create Zarana. Baroness is the only remaining female, and she's really not much of a starting point for Zanya. It then occurred to me that I really didn't need the same articulation as what's used on the 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE figures; the most important thing was scale. I ventured into my collection room, started digging through some loose figures, and found my base: the "Arena Escape" Padmé Amidala from Attack Of The Clones. Sure, she's one of those figures that's already posed, but that was more than acceptable for my purposes. She'll eventually be used in a diorama, and she likely would have ended up in a similar pose, anyway. Not a perfect solution, but certainly better than any alternative Hasbro has offered in the modern G.I. JOE line.

I used this Dreadnoks poster and images from the pages of Devil's Due Publishing's Dreadnoks: Declassified for reference. I painted her shirt (including Padmé's sleeveless arm) purple first, and then painted over that with black, intentionally leaving the black coverage thin in some areas to recreate the effect of the colors in the DDP comic series. Her pants were painted with two coats of green, and I removed a little bit of paint from a couple of spots by touching it with my finger to create "holes" in them. I went back over those areas with a flesh color. The boots were painted black, followed by some drybrushing with brown to create the "dirty" look. The belt, holster, hands, and hair were painted black, and then I went over parts of her hair with green after that was dry. Getting the lips and eyebrows right was the most difficult part, but I've since invested in some brushes that will make that sort of thing easier in the future.

I've been a bad, bad girl...

Faced with my severe artistic limitations yet again, it was now time to add a DDP Dreadnoks logo to her shirt. What you see is actually my first attempt, and it came out better than I had expected. A découpage solution would have been preferable, but the surface of her chest wasn't smooth enough to accomodate it. I wasn't going for precise detail, but just a recognizable shape, and I think I managed to accomplish that.

Feelin' like a criminal...

Zanya's bike is the Fat Ride from Mattel's Hot Wheels 1:18 Moto line, with Cobra decals from ReproLabels.com.

Zanya is armed with an M1911A1 45, available from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

All In The Family: Zanya

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zartan
All In The Family: Zarana
All In The Family: Conclusion

All In The Family: Zarana

2009-03-17T13:11:00.005-04:00

When Hasbro made it clear that they had no plans to release an updated version of Zartan's sister, Zarana, in the 25th Anniversary G.I. JOE line, I looked back at the photo I took of their custom figure of the character from JoeCon 2007. The parts were easy to identify: Scarlett's head, arms, and legs, and Lady Jaye's torso. That was a good start, but I really didn't like the way Scarlett's arms looked when painted to be sleeveless. I thought Zarana could use a bit of an update, too, so I decided to go with a combination of the original look and the Devil's Due Publishing design. I switched to Lady Jaye's arms and substituted Scarlett's lower torso for Lady Jaye's, which allowed for a crop top. I painted her boots black with a bit of brown drybrushing to give them a "dirty" look. I also added Lady Jaye's removable holster belt and painted the handle of her pistol pink so Zarana could accessorize a little. I originally used Scarlett's head, but since she was one of the few members of the G.I. JOE team I had opened for my display of loose figures, I really wanted a unique head for Zarana. That led me to this head from Alyosha's Broken Arrow Toys. Here's the end result:

I know you're a bad, bad woman...

One of the things that distinguished G.I. JOE from other toy lines in the '80s was the diversity of the characters, but that hasn't been reflected as well as it could have been since the 25th Anniversary line was introduced in '07. So far, we have three black males (Roadblock, Stalker, and Alpine), three white females (Scarlett, Lady Jaye, and Baroness), four male characters of Asian ancestry (Storm Shadow [Japanese-American], Quick Kick [Japanese and Korean], Tunnel Rat [Chinese], and the Hard Master [Japanese]), two Native American males (Spirit Iron-Knife & Airborne), and one presumably Polynesian male (Torpedo). That's a total of thirteen characters, ten of whom are males. Compare that to nearly sixty unique white males, not to mention the armies of white Cobra Troopers, Officers, and Vipers in all their various incarnations. Honestly, how hard would it be for Hasbro to thrown in a few black Cobra Troopers here and there? No new tooling is required. Anyway, the line desperately needs more female characters, which was part of my motivation for trying my hand with Zarana and the subject of my next entry, which I'll post in a day or two.

As I mentioned the other day, I truly lack even a hint of artistic ability, so the concept would definitely benefit from having a more skilled painter at the other end of the brush. For my purposes, though, Zarana will suffice, at least until Hasbro finally gets around to releasing an official version. If they don't, though, my display will be fine with this attempt at Zartan's sister.

Good enough for me...

Zarana's bike is the Psycholoco from Mattel's Hot Wheels 1:18 Moto line, with Cobra decals from ReproLabels.com.

Zarana is armed with a Heckler & Koch UMP, available as the Tactical Assault Rifle w/ Removable Ammo clip from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

All In The Family: Zarana

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zartan
All In The Family: Zanya
All In The Family: Conclusion

All In The Family: Zartan

2009-03-13T13:11:00.004-04:00

My favorite G.I. JOE character since his introduction in 1984, Zartan finally got the figure he deserved in 2007's 25th Anniversary line. While I loved my original as a kid (I detailed the experience of obtaining that figure on my Must-Haves For Collectors page), the older I got, the more annoyed I became with his appearance. The half shirt look is decidedly dated (to be polite about it), but even more ridiculous was the fact that his crop top body armor had short "sleeves" that weren't even connected to the torso piece. It made no sense, and the figure suffers greatly for it. That didn't change my feelings about the character or his story in the Marvel Comic title, but when Devil's Due Publishing got their hands on the G.I. JOE license, they gave Zartan a properly updated costume. Thankfully, and much to the chagrin of fans perpetually stuck in the '80s, it was something very similar to this look that Hasbro chose for Zartan in the 25th Anniversary line. It combines the chest armor with a long-sleeve shirt under it, making it much easier to take this assassin and master of disguise seriously. Hasbro later acquiesced to the kind of collectors who long for the days of Top Gun, Reaganomics, and hair mousse overdoses, releasing a second version last year. In my G.I. JOE universe, though, this is Zartan.

Got the two glocks with oowops, the bodies traced in chalk...

Hasbro also released three members of Zartan's gang, the Dreadnoks: Buzzer, Ripper, and Torch. As great as it is to have a modern era display of Zartan & the Dreadnoks, some key members are still missing. Classics like Monkeywrench, Road Pig, and Thrasher still haven't made it into the new line, but even more crucial are Zartan's siblings and offspring, Zarana, Zandar, and Zanya. After Hasbro repeatedly said no to the question of producing these characters, I took it upon myself to add Zartan's sister and daugther to my collection, anyway. Now I've never really done anything with action figure customizing, and I have all the artistic ability of a hyena after a week-long methamphetamine binge. With the combined limits of inexperience and being utterly devoid of talent, I knew this was going to be a challenge, but I gave it a shot. Over the next few days, I'll share the results of my efforts.

Zartan's bike is the Rollin' Thunder from Mattel's Hot Wheels 1:18 Moto line, with Cobra decals from ReproLabels.com.

Zartan is armed with two Glock 17s, available as the "Tactical" Automatic Pistol from Marauder "Gun-Runners".

All In The Family: Zartan

Related entries:
All In The Family: Zarana
All In The Family: Zanya
All In The Family: Conclusion

Manifest Destiny

2009-03-04T17:55:00.001-05:00

Expansion across the internet was as inevitable as the sunrise, but it's official: I'm now also blogging over at ActionFigureInsider.com, too. Why? Because they asked, Daniel and Jason are two of the best and most knowledgeable guys in the hobby, and there's a great team of collectors already blogging over there. The group is too good to pass up a chance to join. It's like the Legion of Doom, but with pants. I hope. My initial contribution is a lesson in Geekonomics 101, a bit of advice for collectors in today's economic recession. You'll be able to get to that and all future installments here, but I encourage you to just visit the main Action Figure Insider blog page and check out all the other guys' entries, too. You'll see pictures of customs and collections, be entertained, and learn a thing or two about a thing or two while you're there.

Sign Here, Please: Larry Hama

2009-02-25T13:11:00.005-05:00

Having already been indoctrinated in the ways of the Force since just after my birth, I was introduced to something new at the age of five in 1982. That was the year I received my first G.I. JOE figures, Breaker and Snake-Eyes. Breaker was pretty cool, but not the most exciting toy in the world. Snake-Eyes, on the other hand, was more than just an ordinary soldier toy. He was dressed in all black, and he wore a mask. A soldier who wears a mask must be badass, right? I was intrigued, and it wasn't long before I realized there were monthly adventures to be followed in G.I. JOE from Marvel Comics. Issues #2-#10 held my attention (I didn't get a copy of #1 for a few years), but things really picked up in the teens. Characters like Destro, Dr. Venom, and Scar-Face were introduced. Betrayal occurs in the ranks of Cobra, and Baroness suffers for it. Something else happend when the series got to issue #21, though, a chapter without even a single word of dialogue. It had already been established that Snake-Eyes didn't speak, but this was a silent issue, and it introduced Storm Shadow, the Cobra ninja. Ninjas? Really? I was hooked.

I followed the series for years. Zartan and the Dreadnoks came next, and as the origins of Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, Zartan, and Cobra Commander were fleshed out, I grew increasingly eager for each month's new installment. When the animated series debuted in 1985, it was a tremendous disappointment. This cartoon was nothing like the comics I had been reading! '85 was also the year I really got into DC Comics. I had always loved Batman, and I already had several of the Super Powers figures, but the Super Friends and Super Friends: The Legendary Super Powers Show cartoons were the media fueling my interest. Once I read Crisis On Infinite Earths, I knew there was more to superheroes than what those shows could offer.

But even as I read titles with Batman, Superman, Firestorm, and the Justice League, it was G.I. JOE I read religiously. I could not miss an issue of that book. The stories weren't talking down to me like the animation was, they provided me with history and character development, and people actually got hit by bullets (not lasers!) in combat. This meant something to me. I didn't want to see parachutes every time an aircraft was lost in battle; I wanted consequences. Larry Hama, who wrote an amazing 149 of the 155 issues (in addition to over two dozen issues of G.I. JOE: Special Missions and most of the file cards from Hasbro's line of action figures), provided them.

It was Mr. Hama's work that most inspired me as a youth to take English and creative writing seriously in school, his storytelling that made me want to be a writer. I've only had one piece of fiction published, but I have managed to earn a living in the past as a proofreader and as a copywriter, and that likely would not be the case if I hadn't been so greatly influenced by Mr. Hama. When it was announced that he would be a guest the 2007 G.I. JOE Collectors' Convention in Atlanta, there was no way I was going to pass up the opportunity to meet a creator who'd had such an impact on me. Sure, I wanted to see the new 25th Anniversary action figures that were being shown for the first time, and I wanted to experience the convention itself, but my primary motivation in making the trip was a chance to meet Mr. Hama. I no longer have the G.I. JOE #21 I had as a kid, but I had replaced my old copy of G.I. JOE Yearbook #3, which contains the second silent story. I took it with me to Atlanta to have it signed by Mr. Hama.

After so many years of admiring his writing, meeting Mr. Hama, who was both friendly and humble, is a memory I will always keep with me.

There are several writers and artists I hope to meet at some point, creators like Frank Miller, Bruce Timm, Paul Dini, Jeph Loeb, Brad Meltzer, Tony Isabella, Grant Morrison, and Dennis O'Neil. I'm thinking of making the trip to NYCC next fall, so maybe I'll get a chance to scratch a couple of those guys off my list.

Sign Here, Please: Larry Hama

Sign Here, Please: Matt Wagner

2009-02-24T13:11:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite artists to draw Batman in the last decade also happens to be one of my favorite writers to script his adventures. Matt Wagner's Batman and the Monster Men and Batman and the Mad Monk are modernizations of Golden Age Batman stories, reaching back to the Dark Knight's early career with two tales that occur during the timeline of Batman: Year One. The former depicts Batman's first confrontation with Hugo Strange, while the latter involves the Caped Crusader's first encounter with the supernatural. Both are equally fantastic, but perhaps even better is 2003's Trinity, which covers the first meeting of Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman. The story is terrific, and Mr. Wagner provides what is probably the most beautiful artwork in superhero comics today.

I am always impressed with the successful execution of a writer/director in movies, a filmmaker who crafts the story from start to finish. The same is true for a writer/artist in comics. Not that collaborative efforts don't result in great books, but one person handling both tasks ensures that there is no disconnect between the intent of the author and the interpretation of the artist. When I had a chance to meet Mr. Wagner at HeroesCon last year, I brought my Trinity hardcover to have signed. Like Ethan Van Sciver, he did more than simply sign the book. See for yourself:

The few extra seconds Mr. Wagner took to sketch out the Big Three put this book near the top of all my collectibles. I enjoyed meeting him, and it's always nice to find out someone so talented is also very down-to-earth and friendly.

One more installment left for tomorrow, and I've saved the most important for last.

Sign Here, Please: Matt Wagner

Sign Here, Please: Steve Niles

2009-02-20T13:11:00.004-05:00

I've only covered illustrators thus far, so I'm going to change it up this time with the best horror writer in comics today, Steve Niles. 30 Days Of Night is one of my favorite vampire stories of all time, regardless of the medium. When I saw the film at a local theater, I was hoping it would live up to the comics, and it did not disappoint. I'm sure it didn't hurt that Mr. Niles was involved in the process of adapting his story into the movie's script. We were fortunate enough to have Mr. Niles as a guest here in Charlotte for last year's HeroesCon, so I armed myself with my 30 Days Of Night DVD. Yeah, I know, I've been posting about my signed comics, but bear with me. I'm getting to that.

Not only is Mr. Niles a master of horror, but he's also penned some of the most chilling Batman stories you'll ever read. Batman: Gotham County Line, a three-part miniseries with art by Scott Hampton, wasn't your typical DCU reading. A serial killer mystery, Batman finding it difficult to see beyond that in which he believes, an appearance by Boston Brand, and... zombies? If you haven't read it, it's topnotch Dark Knight, and something any fan of Mr. Niles or the Bat will want to acquire. His Batman: Gotham After Midnight series is in comic stores now, and it has been every bit as enjoyable as his first trip to Gotham. I felt compelled to take one of his Batman books to be signed, too, so here's book two, page one of Batman: Gotham County Line, signed by Steve Niles.

I said previously that I'm not one to set a stack in front of anyone to have signed, and I'm really not! I do, however, like to buy something from an artist or writer when he/she has something available for sale. I picked up a copy of Mr. Niles' Wake The Dead, which he was also kind enough to sign. I can't say enough about this story, which is next in line for the motion picture treatment (hopefully to be released next year?). I just hate that I waited so long to read it.

In addition to being at the top of the horror game and having a real knack for writing Batman, Mr. Niles is also an incredibly friendly individual. It was a pleasure to meet him and have a discussion about his work, and I hope he'll return to HeroesCon in the near future. I think I'll bring my Creeper #1 with me when he does.

Sign Here, Please: Steve Niles

Sign Here, Please: Ethan Van Sciver

2009-02-19T13:11:00.005-05:00

Next on my Superman/Batman list is Ethan Van Sciver, the man behind all the fantastic Green Lantern art of the last four years. After seeing what he did with Hal Jordan, my curiosity was obviously piqued when he was announced for a brief run on Superman/Batman. His work on the first three issues of the "Enemies Among Us" story is simply astounding. Not that Matthew Clark's pages in the second half the story were subpar, or anything, but Van Sciver's drawings just jump right off the page at you. He's definitely among my top ten favorites in the industry today, so I was happy for the chance to have him sign my "Enemies Among Us" hardcover at HeroesCon 2008. What really got me, though, was how he autographed the book:

What I found so impressive was how quickly and casually he sketched the Dark Knight. I realize it's something he does just about every day, but for someone without a shred of artistic ability like me, it's really fun to watch. Seriously, I can't even draw a stick figure. I also bought a wicked Black Lightning print from Mr. Van Sciver, but the guys who sell the top-loading print holders had sold out of the size it requires, so I have it put away for safe keeping until this year's con. Anyway, there's more to come from last year's HeroesCon, including another incredible sketch-o-graph.

Sign Here, Please: Ethan Van Sciver

Sign Here, Please: Ed McGuinness & Dexter Vines

2009-02-18T13:11:00.004-05:00

Going back to what I said in the previous post about the significance of meeting creators, I'm not one to chase down an artist or writer's signature just for the sake of having it. I'm not one to set a stack of fifty comics in front of a guy and expect him to sign all of them, either, but I digress. There are plenty of names from comics I've truly enjoyed over the years, but never thought to have them sign anything, even when they were a guest at an event I attended. For me, it's my core favorites that motivate me to seek an autograph. Near the top of those favorites is Ed McGuinness; in fact, I have the cover art from Superman/Batman Secret Files & Origins 2003 permanently inked on my right arm.

Getting my Superman/Batman Volume 1 hardcover signed was a priority in 2006, when both Mr. McGuinness and inker Dexter Vines were appearing in Charlotte. Mr. Vines was first, as he was signing and doing sketches at Heroes Aren't Hard To Find on Free Comic Book Day in 2006. After being forced to cancel in '05, Mr. McGuinness was a guest at HeroesCon in 2006, giving me the opportunity to add his signature to the book and pick up a signed print, too. I love the exaggerated style he brings to superhero comics, and I'm a big fan of the Superman/Batman series in general, so this was a nice score. I can't say the pleasure was all mine, either, as Mr. McGuinness got a real kick out of seeing my tattoo, even pulling other artists away from their signing tables to gloat. At some point, I'm hoping to complete the hat-trick by adding Jeph Loeb's signature to the cover.

Warren Ellis was signing at HeroesCon that same year, but the line was unreal. I just didn't feel like spending a whole day of the con waiting around in it, but maybe I should have. I don't know that I'll ever get another chance to have Ellis sign something. Live and learn!

Sign Here, Please: Ed McGuinness & Dexter Vines

Sign Here, Please: Dwayne McDuffie

2009-02-17T13:11:00.002-05:00

While I only have a few, I'm very pleased with my small collection of autographed comics. I've never bought a signed book, and I never will. There's no appeal in that for me. While the signature on the book is cool, what I like so much about it is the experience it represents, having met a writer or artist in person. Over the next few days, I'll share some of the ones I've managed to obtain, starting with Milestone Media cofounder Dwayne McDuffie.

While I'd always enjoyed Mr. McDuffie's work in comics (especially stuff like Hardware, Static, and Blood Syndicate), it was his writing on Justice League and Justice League Unlimited that really hooked me as a dedicated fan for life. When it was announced that he would be appearing at Cine Noir in Wilmington, NC, I immediately began making plans to attend. Winner of the Trailblazer Award in 2006, Mr. McDuffie hosted a "Superhero Cinema" panel, showing episodes of Static Shock and answering questions from the audience. I had the opportunity to pick his brain a bit more over lunch before I headed back to Charlotte, and it was a lot of fun to spend time chatting with a creator whose fiction has been such a great source of entertainment for me over the years.

My original plan was to bring a Static Shock DVD for him to sign, but I decided instead to go with the one-shot Fantastic Four Special he'd written. I'm not much of a Marvel fan in general, but in an old Marvel "Pro File" on McDuffie from a Marvel bulletin page in the '80s, he listed his, "greatest unfulfilled ambition in the comics field," as writing Fantastic Four. For that reason, the one-shot book seemed like the best choice.

Sign Here, Please: Dwayne McDuffie

Mad Love: JLU Harley Quinn on MattyCollector.com

2009-02-17T12:48:00.002-05:00

Just three days after Valentine's Day, Mattel is now taking orders for their new JLU Harley Quinn figure. Yes, Clock King, Scarecrow, and Bane are included in the set, too, but Harley! I've only been begging the Mattel guys to work a new Harley figure into the line for the last few years, and now it's just a matter of waiting on her to be delivered to my front door. Speaking of which, I wish all of the JLU figures were this easy to buy, but that's another topic for another day. I'll just celebrate the moment for now.

You can order your own set here.

MattyCollector.com JLU figures on sale February 15

2009-01-22T18:06:00.000-05:00

Going back to this post from last summer, the exclusive Justice League Unlimited figures from MattyCollector.com will be available on Sunday, February 15. The four single-carded figures are Clock King, Scarecrow, Bane, and Harley Quinn. You can't pre-order them, or anything, but here's a link to the JLU exclusive four-pack from MattyCollector.

It's official...

2009-01-20T12:36:00.002-05:00

Dubya is "former" President Bush. Now please, go to Texas and never, ever open your mouth in public again. Eight years of embarrassing those of us who bothered to learn the language is more than enough, thank you.

And a special thanks to everyone else in North Carolina who voted for Obama, for helping us make sure The Stupid Line was drawn south of us.

Register To Vote!

2008-10-07T20:00:00.009-04:00

The deadline for voter registration in North Carolina is Friday, October 10. The latest polls from Public Policy show Barack Obama with a 50% - 44% lead.

Quote:

Last week Obama led by two points. He is now winning 82% of the Democratic vote, compared to just 74% a week ago. For most of the general election his share of his own party’s vote has hovered in the upper 60s and lower 70s.

“If 80% or more of Democrats in North Carolina really end up voting for Obama then John McCain is finished here,” said Dean Debnam, President of Public Policy Polling.

“Republicans have won here in the Presidential race for years by taking anywhere from a fifth to a third of the Democratic vote, but if that doesn’t happen this year the state is going to turn blue.”

Obama also has a 46-40 lead with independents in the state. He may have been aided by his trip to Asheville in this poll. After trailing by an average of six points in the region over the course of PPP’s last three polls he is leading 54-37 there this time.

He has also reached his highest percentage of the white vote in a PPP poll, at 38%. With increased black turnout this year that’s probably good enough to take the state.

There is NO EXCUSE next month, people. If John McCain wins North Carolina, it will be the result of one thing: apathy. I'm not going to sit here and try to convince you that Barack Obama is some kind of savior, but he is unequivocally the most progressive candidate Democrats have nominated in my lifetime. Yes, he is a mainstream politician, and he has his faults, but they're substantially fewer in number than those of his opponent. The same was true in the last few races, but the difference this time is that Obama actually has policies that could do some real good for the people of this country.

We can defeat McCain, and his plan for another four years of disastrous policies, right here in North Carolina. For the first time since 1976, this state is legitimately in play. If you haven't registered to vote, then stop wasting time. Not sure if you've registered in the past? Check here. If you haven't, get the form here. Here in Charlotte, get off your ass and take the form to the Mecklenburg County Board Of Elections. You can find the address here. It's on the right if you're driving into the city, on the left if you're coming from I-277, and their office is in the back of the building. Elsewhere in the state, just Google (your county) board of elections. If you can't find it, ask me, and I'll find it for you.

NO EXCUSES. Now is not the time to sit on the sidelines.

And when you go vote in November, this would also be a good time to get Elizabeth Dole out of the Senate.

G.I. JOE Trivia Winner

2008-09-16T13:11:00.004-04:00

Of all the entries I received (just under thirty), only two included the correct answer. After asking for, "one of the more popular G.I. JOE characters from the early 1980s," a couple of the attempts were puzzling. I mean, Alaska? Really? Anyway, the answers are as follows:

The city and state where the pictured building is located: Fresno, CA
The character's code name: Storm Shadow
The character's file name (real name): Tommy Arashikage ( or Thomas S. Arashikage)

In issue #26 of Marvel Comics' original G.I. JOE series, Stalker is providing Hawk and Scarlett with details about Snake-Eyes' past. Recounting an incident from their time together in Vietnam, he mentions "Tommy", a "Japanese-American kid out of Fresno. Unpronounceable last name." He then goes on to say that Tommy's last name (Arashikage) translates into Storm Shadow. This was the first city of origin ever given for the character, although file cards from later figure releases would name both San Francisco and St. Louis. The only file card to ever give Fresno as his hometown came with the Tommy Arashikage figure from the comic book three-pack with Stalker and Snake-Eyes, portraying the characters from their tour in 'Nam. The photo in the contest post shows Fresno's City Hall.

Both names were written on scraps of paper, crumpled up, and dropped into a plastic cup (a bowl wasn't even necessary). After pulling a piece of paper from the cup, the winner is: Irid70/Lastbestangryman of New Castle, DE. He will receive two carded Snow Serpent figures from Wave 5 2008 of Hasbro's current G.I. JOE line. I don't have any more Snow Serpents, but because there were only two correct responses, I'd like to do something for the other contestant. So for Eric of Austin, TX, I have a carded Snake-Eyes figure from Wave 3 2008 to send you. Just send over your mailing addresses, and I'll ship the figures to you guys this weekend.

Congratulations, and thanks for entering!

Operation Cold Slither: G.I. JOE Trivia!

2008-09-01T00:01:00.002-04:00

Prepare Your Cobra Forces For The Coming Winter!

Happy Labor Day, everyone! It's going to start getting cold in a couple of months; is your Cobra army ready? If not, I have two carded Snow Serpent figures up for grabs, a little something for the hard-working collector on this holiday. The cards aren't flawlessly mint, but they're sealed and perfect for openers, especially army builders. I'll take all the correct answers from the trivia question below, put their names in a bowl, and pick one winner randomly to receive both Snow Serpent figures. This is open to anyone in the U.S. or Canada, and the shipping is on me.

Your Mission

The building pictured here is located in the hometown of one of the more popular G.I. JOE characters from the early 1980s. Conflicting sources have given a few different cities of origin for this particular character, but I'm looking for the first one ever revealed. HINT: Of the various action figure releases, only one file card gave this city as his birthplace.

In order to enter the contest, just send the following to coldslither@compulsivecollector.com:

The city and state where the pictured building is located
The character's code name
The character's file name (real name)
Your first name, city, and state (or province)

If you prefer to have your screen name from a web site posted when I announce the winner, just be sure to include that with your e-mail.

And the prize:

Entries must be received by 11:59 PM on Sunday, September 14, 2008. I'll announce the winner here on the Compulsive Collector Blog Monday, September 15.

Good luck!

There Shall Be Wailing And Gnashing Of Teeth

2008-08-21T20:00:00.006-04:00

So there was a pretty major announcement about some policy changes for sellers over at eBay yesterday. The first one of note is a minimum rating of 4.3 on all four of the Detailed Seller Ratings, provided by buyers when they're leaving feedback. These include the accuracy of item description, communication, shipping time, and shipping and handling charges. They'll use the 30-day or 12-month rating, depending on the volume of sales for a particular seller. This is one of those things where it depends on what you sell, but 4.3 could be setting the bar a little high for online junk dealers whose customers get bent out of shape after not reading a clear and accurate description. Of course, it won't bother me. Here's my 30-day DSR as of today:

The next significant update (and I'm a big fan of this one) is the end of paper payments, meaning that checks and money orders will no longer be acceptable methods. That should have already happened. It's 2008, time to shit or get off the technological pot. If you're not going to pay electronically, go to the flea market, and take your stuff there to sell it if you're not going to accept PayPal. They're also going to integrate sellers' merchant accounts into eBay's checkout, so no more third-party sites to process your payments. These are great ways to improve the site, but there are, of course, plenty of people crying about it all over the internet at this very moment. "But I don't have a credit card!" So, get one? Hell, if you're too irresponsible to trust yourself with a line of credit, get a prepaid debit card. Do something, and join the rest of us in the 21st century. Personally, I wish checks would be banned from all retail transactions, too.

A few sellers are really getting riled up over a third change, the introduction of maximum shipping and handling costs. For now, this only applies to the Media category: books, movies, music, and video games. Have a look at the reason eBay offers:

Quote:

Buyers have told us that shipping costs on eBay are too high, and this is causing them to make their purchases elsewhere. This is hurting both our sellers and our buyers. Setting maximum shipping and handling costs based on historical date [SIC] of what buyers have told us is reasonable will keep more buyers satisfied and drive more sales for sellers.

I have to wonder if eBay asked these buyers how often they bothered to consider those shipping charges prior to placing bids. These people are adults, and if they can't add cost + shipping = total to figure out if they're getting a good deal, that's their problem. In the long run, buyers will end up paying more, because lower shipping will mean higher opening bids and ending prices. eBay takes a percentage of the final value, but not the shipping costs, which means more fees to be paid. Think that's coming out of the sellers' pockets? Of course not. In business, you always pass along each and every cost to the consumer, and then you charge more so you can earn a profit. Anyone who believes otherwise is a fool, and probably a broke one.

Quote:

The dollar limits are fair, especially compared to what e-commerce competitors typically charge for shipping.

And many of those "e-commerce competitors", such as Amazon, buy shipping materials in bulk, an advantage over individual sellers. Speaking of Amazon:

Quote:

We are starting with categories where we believe buyer expectations are particularly heightened to free and reasonable shipping. Our goal over time is to bring reasonable shipping limits to more categories.

You have to spend $25 to get free shipping from Amazon, the model against which eBay obviously believes its sellers need to compete, and they generally take several days to send your orders when you use the Free Super Saver Shipping, never mind the transit time. That's fine with me, and I take advantage of the free shipping, but can you imagine the reaction if all eBay sellers start waiting a week to drop Media Mail packages at the post office? The reality is that increasing fuel costs and rapid inflation have resulted in higher overhead for everyone doing business in today's economy, and eBay sellers are no exception to that. Imposing these limits based on what people whose only interest is to get cheap shit seems more than a bit bush-league. It is contrary to what makes eBay unique, a shopping experience where the market decides what is a fair price. Is listening to the whiner crowd of buyers really a sound method of setting policy? You would think that eBay, of all companies, would realize that these people will just find some new reason to bitch after this policy is implemented.

And on the topic of bitching, eBay sellers have been doing their fair share of that, and then some. They've been violated! Seriously, I've seen the word "rape" associated with eBay and/or PayPal fees at least thirty times today. Some are threatening to take their business elsewhere, while some are pointing out that elsewhere doesn't exist. Others are saying this is the first, "nail in eBay's coffin," while even more are talking of banding together to start a new auction site to add some competition to the mix. You know what? Yahoo already tried that, and it was a miserable failure. If Yahoo can't do it, what makes you think that you could? Hell, the way you're moaning about the fees for selling on eBay, I don't think you'd survive getting an estimate for the rates of the team of attorneys you'd need to hire to pursue such an endeavor.

This just in: eBay ain't going anywhere. You and the other couple hundred crybabies leaving won't be a big deal. Someone else will just come along and replace you, while you go do whatever else it is you think will be a better alternative. In the meantime, eBay will be here long after you're dead and gone, and every time they announce a controversial policy update, another group of people will scream and yell about how, "It's the beginning of the end for eBay!" You are not saying anything new; I've seen it time and time again over the years. You're the latest crowd to perform this song and dance, but it's an old tune.

If I may indulge in a cliché or two, business is kill or be killed, survival of the fittest. Even if eBay doesn't believe the market will regulate itself when it comes to shipping charges, the market will adjust, because smart, savvy sellers will adapt and succeed. The strong will survive, and if you quit the game, new players will emerge. You are not essential to eBay, and you never were. All you are is customer number 7711381982, so suck it up and play through the pain, or stop crying and get off the field. It's as simple as that.

Okay, so that was more than two.

There Shall Be Wailing And Gnashing Of Teeth

Sci-Fi Genre (Durham, NC)

2008-08-20T23:38:00.001-04:00

While I was in the Raleigh area over the weekend, I made my way to Sci-Fi Genre in Durham, NC. I've ordered from their online store at www.ScifiGenre.com before, so I wanted to check out their B&M location while I was within a few minutes of the place. They had a pretty good selection of action figures, along with a few statues and busts, but nothing I really needed. I did pick up several new comics, though, which they sell bagged and boarded for just under cover price. I liked that about the shop, especially considering I was traveling with Darby. She's nutty, she's a crazy kind of dog. You get in her way, she'll roll right over you. She's silly like that.

So About That Little Batman Movie...

2008-08-20T22:10:00.000-04:00

I guess I haven't said anything about it here, huh? It's Nolan's masterpiece, and that means a lot, considering I'd have named Memento as the best movie I'd ever seen if you'd asked me on July 17. He's easily the best filmmaker of our time, and I couldn't be happier about Warner Bros. putting the Bat in his hands. Heath Ledger's performance is everything it's hyped up to be, and then some. Words can't do it justice. He brought so much to the role, and it's a shame he can't be around to enjoy the success. Seriously, Jack who? Yeah, 1989 ain't shit.

Who Watches The Watchmen?

2008-08-19T20:18:00.001-04:00

No one, if Fox has their way.

The whole thing smacks of pettiness on Fox's part. The idea that Fox executives would actually prefer blocking the film's release to getting a cut of the profits seems absurd, but then again, this is Fox. Even they can't be that stupid, though. Right? Personally, this seems like 1) Fox jumping at their first chance to get even over Warner Bros. snatching Bryan Singer off X-Men: The Last Stand to work on Superman Returns and 2) Fox being jealous of Warner Bros.' success this summer, while none of their movies have managed to pull jack shit during the blockbuster season. WB has done $934 million in ticket sales with movies that have been released since May, while Fox has done $216 million on titles released during the same period.

Even if there is some moron at Fox hell-bent on getting even with a rival studio, dollar signs usually trump all, so I wouldn't expect an actual delay on the release.

Now That's More Like It!

2008-08-15T18:56:00.000-04:00

Four cases of wave 7, four cases of wave 9, and several leftover figures from waves 4 and 8. This is how the G.I. JOE pegs should look.

Stay On Target: The Dark Knight Has STAR WARS In Its Sights

2008-08-13T13:11:00.003-04:00

Results as of 08/13/08 from Box Office Mojo:

By the time the opening weekend totals for STAR WARS: The Clone Wars are calculated, The Dark Knight will have surpassed the original film in domestic box office gross. That makes Batman bigger Luke Skywalker, Shrek, E.T., Jack Sparrow, Peter Parker, Hobbits, Jesus, dinosaurs, and Michael Baybots. I'm sure someone, somewhere (most likely in an office at Paramount), is thinking about how much bigger #20 could have been if it had been directed by a competent filmmaker and taken halfway seriously. I wonder if they're second-guessing any of their decisions on G.I. JOE right now?

Stay On Target: The Dark Knight Has STAR WARS In Its Sights