It's something I've seen and heard more times than I care to remember, and it's popped up a lot recently since Lorenzo di Bonaventura
described the next G.I. JOE movie by
saying, "Well, the ninja fans are going to love it." I'm talking about anti-nijaism among some G.I. JOE fans. It's not enough to say, "I don't like ninjas," either. A tactic employed by those with an anti-ninja agenda is to repeatedly use words like "we" and "us," presuming to speak for the entire fandom with their complaints.
We don't like ninjas. We want JOE to be pure military! Ninjas don't even exist, and how can we enjoy G.I. JOE if it's not bound by strict realism? We hated it when Snake-Eyes was revealed to be a ninja. Who gave Hasbro the right to change one of our favorite characters without consulting us? The fans don't like ninjas! This isn't what we want!
Like a politician saying, "what the American people want," instead of, "what my party wants," these purveyors of anti-ninjaite rhetoric would have you believe all G.I. JOE fans are united in a bond of hatred. The way they tell it, "we" want all soldiers, all the time. Some want more, though, and it's time for those of us who accept and even embrace ninjas to stand up and be heard (or read, as the case may be). Like it or not, ninjas are a huge part of the G.I. JOE
vs. Cobra mythology, and that was established as early as
G.I. JOE #10 when we first learned of Snake-Eyes' ninjatastic past.
Enter the ninja.
Ninjas were a significant part of A Real American Hero for the overwhelming majority of its wildly successful run in the '80s.
Why did they have to change Snake-Eyes from the commando all of us loved to a ninja? That's not what we wanted! I don't think "we" were having the same adventures with our toys as kids. Snake-Eyes was already my favorite JOE, but learning that he was an
American ninja just made him even cooler. And you know what? He's still a commando, only he's extra awesome, because he's a
ninja commando. I wouldn't have found G.I. JOE to be nearly as captivating if it wasn't for the villains in absurd costumes, biker gangs, and yes, the ninjas. All these elements helped G.I. JOE become more than just a line of toy soldiers.
A preference for the military aspect of G.I. JOE isn't surprising, but it's pointless to pretend like G.I. JOE would even still be G.I. JOE without the ninjas, the Dreadnoks, or Cobra. These are all vital ingredients that made the property what it is. You know what wasn't? Realism! If anyone wants a straight, no-nonsense line of military action figures, I'd recommend
these. They're very nice, but I'd be more inclined to collect them if they had some (lots of) ninjas.
No one has to be an anti-ninjaite. It's never too late to let go of the prejudices and hate. Anyone can still learn to think of ninjas like Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, Jinx, and Kamakura as badasses, which they fucking are. Many of us love the ninja aspect of the JOE universe just as much as the military theme, and we wouldn't be as enthusiastic about the brand without them. Somewhere deep inside each and every one of us is an inner child who once played with throwing stars from the army surplus store because our parents were irresponsible, awesome, or both. Who wouldn't like to set that recklessly unsupervised kid free? Doesn't he - or she- deserve to come out and play in a world with ninjas?
So until next time,
Yo Ninja!
How many ninjas is too many? Trick question. You can never have too many ninjas.
